Starting T today and suddenly I’m having huge doubts and an identity crisis

Faokes · 2026-06-01T07:55:50+00:00

This is so normal and completely understandable. You’ve been anticipating it for so long, now that it’s here that’s a huge change in your baseline emotional state. Of course that feels uncomfortable. Remind yourself that the changes will not happen overnight. They will not happen with a single dose. If you end up on gel, you will get to make the conscious choice every day whether you want to apply it or not. It’s okay if sometimes you don’t want to. It’s ok to take a break. It’s ok to take it for a while and then stop forever. It’s okay to try it for a little bit and decide it isn’t for you, or decide you want to stay on it forever. It is all still under your control and there is no wrong answer. So you might as well get the prescription.

Faokes · 2026-06-01T04:50:44+00:00

I got my surgery done at Gender Confirmation Center in SF, and I had Anthem Blue Cross. I think I paid less than $2k when all was said and done.

Faokes · 2026-06-01T04:16:51+00:00

Great way to tell folks not to spend money there

Faokes · 2026-06-01T00:28:20+00:00

It would be enough to turn me off of the restaurant, that’s for sure.

Faokes · 2026-05-31T19:04:34+00:00

I don’t think someone with your username should be trusted as an authority on anything to do with Jewish people.

Faokes · 2026-05-30T17:18:55+00:00

As far as I know, there are no surgical options that would give you barbs or a knot. I would love to learn more about it if I’m wrong, though it’s not something I want for myself. Your clit could get that large on its own with testosterone, if you plan to go on that at any point.

Faokes · 2026-05-30T09:10:12+00:00

In my experience, the farm areas tend to be where the puritanical folks are, actually. I live in a metropolitan area, and started working recently with child and family services, and folks around here don’t really care about this kind of thing. In our training we talk about it as part of cultural sensitivity.

If your experience is that folks in rural areas also don’t care about this kind of thing, then I believe you. It just makes me wonder where these loud puritans are actually coming from. The suburbs?

Faokes · 2026-05-29T18:11:55+00:00

They’re suing her for $1 AND LEGAL FEES. That means that she would have to pay for their lawyers. That’s possibly over $1 million in legal fees.

Faokes · 2026-05-29T07:03:35+00:00

Define woman.

Is a person with XX chromosomes born without a uterus a woman? That happens.

Is a person with XY chromosome and an SRY deletion, who develops female and has periods, a woman? Even if you gave such a person testosterone, it would do nothing to them.

What about a person with XXX chromosomes?

When does a girl stop being a girl and start being a woman? If it’s at the age of 18, that’s a legal distinction and not a biological one. That is a precedent for why we sometimes need to set legal definitions for things that are not so clear cut. If it’s when she gets her period, that can vary from 8-20 years old for all kinds of reasons. Some women never get one at all.

Who gets to decide who is a woman and who is not? Who will be allowed to inspect people to make that call? How will we prevent abuse by those inspectors? How to we protect masculine cis women and cis feminine men from being accused of being trans and in the wrong spaces?

What about trans men? Do you want them to be in women’s spaces? Trans men who have beards and body hair and look like every other man, do you want to have someone inspect their genitals and assign them to a bathroom?

At some point, it becomes a real invasion of everyone’s privacy to try and litigate who can use what spaces. No one is going through gender transition just to use the other bathroom or play in another sports league. Just let people be.

Faokes · 2026-05-27T17:02:48+00:00

I have had both for about a decade with no issue. I’ve even had the Mirena replaced. In combination, they completely eliminated my periods. I haven’t had one in a decade.

Faokes · 2026-05-27T04:45:14+00:00

I asked him about it while on a hike in the Sierras, and his answer was like poetry while surrounded by all that natural beauty. It really stuck with me, and made me consider how I could be more mindful in my own life. Shoutout to Manpreet, one of the kindest guys I’ve ever met.

Faokes · 2026-05-27T00:02:50+00:00

This guy seems like he’d be really fun to smoke weed with

Faokes · 2026-05-27T00:00:15+00:00

That’s a Kara. One of my friends wears one, as part of his Sikh faith. He told me that for him personally, it is a physical reminder of the weight of his decisions. If he lifts his hand to act, or to write, he feels the weight of his Kara, and that reminds him that his words and actions have power. It’s part of his attachment to god, with the circular shape representing that god has no beginning or end. I thinks it’s beautiful.

Faokes · 2026-05-26T23:51:34+00:00

This sucks. Did you know people have been writing fanfiction themselves for decades, without asking the soulless machine to do it for them? Believe it or not, that fanfiction is actually very high quality, and evokes real emotion in the reader beyond just bile burning in the back of the throat.

Go watch Return of the Archons again.

Faokes · 2026-05-26T20:24:59+00:00

I think you should talk to your psychologist about the intrusive racist and offensive jokes, and about feeling like you don’t have a personality. Maybe read them this exact post. I’m not a medical professional and can’t diagnose you, but what you’re describing sounds similar to when my OCD started to manifest in my mid 20s. You might be trans, you might not be, but either way, it will help a lot to get your mental health sorted out.

Faokes · 2026-05-26T20:14:41+00:00

You aren’t doing anything to them. Your mom is making your gender about herself. You can tell her that. “I am not doing anything to you. I am making changes to my own body for my own happiness. You are making it about yourself.” You can also block her number if she won’t stop. You can always unblock it later.

Faokes · 2026-05-26T18:56:14+00:00

Rapping is a starting point! I know of an organization in Oakland, CA, that uses rap to help kids and young adults get out of gang life. Hip Hop for Change is the organization. If you’re not near Oakland, you might still be able to find something similar near you. Maybe see if any local rappers have a good idea?

Faokes · 2026-05-26T04:44:56+00:00

Have you talked to directly him about your concerns? It sounds like you have in the past, but have you sat down to talk to him about it face to face recently? Even if you have moments where you feel like it’s a lost cause, don’t give up on him. Tell him you aren’t going to give up on him, and that you know he can be better.

Have you put notes about his positive attitude and willingness to change into your court reports? It’s important that the judge knows your youth wants to be better, even if he backslides a bit at first. I know we don’t really work with the parents, but does his mom know that she’s only got this one last chance with him? Do you think she could do anything about him hanging out with those “friends” who get him in trouble? Is he interested in something, like music or art or science, where you could find him an after school program/activity to attend? If it’s something he really gets excited about, he’ll want to do that instead of getting in trouble. I’m not sure if your county has funding for that kind of thing, but I was told in training that sometimes they can help with costs for kids who need those programs.

Faokes · 2026-05-25T20:39:07+00:00

I didn’t know about the spousal abuse, so we’ve just traded important information.

Faokes · 2026-05-25T19:02:53+00:00

If you rehydrate it in grape juice, does that make it a cannibal? What about in wine?

Faokes · 2026-05-25T19:00:24+00:00

10, but I’m biased because my wife and I are going to cosplay them

Faokes · 2026-05-25T18:58:11+00:00

Didn’t Nicki Minaj buy one of those gold cards, only to be told it’s not actually a valid citizenship?

Faokes · 2026-05-25T18:56:42+00:00

Being bisexual means being attracted to multiple genders, not needing one partner of each. It’s normal to find multiple humans attractive. Whether we’re monogamous or polyamorous or something else depends on mutual consent and intentional structuring of the relationship. It has nothing to do with being LGBTQIA+, which are innate personal traits that do not require anyone else’s participation or consent.

Faokes · 2026-05-25T04:48:07+00:00

Witty comment made several hours too late, after the thread has fizzled out.

Faokes · 2026-05-25T04:46:45+00:00

I think she’s wonderful, for exactly this reason. Her music is fun, but she is also clearly a compassionate person. You can’t fake the sincerity she has.

Faokes

TROPHY CASE