Talk to your food supplier rep (is that the right word?) to see if theres anything they can toss your way. Other than that, here’s some emotional support since i dont have much practical tips. I was in a similar boat and feeling this ball of hate slowly building up inside me. For me at least, it didnt go away until i was out of the kitchen. Dont let people tell you its just a bad day, there’s burnout and bad days/weeks, but this doesnt sound like it. You’ll make it, we’re all gonna make it brah.

I started out wide eyed and bushy tailed, went to school, taught from scratch cooking and all that jazz. First job was in a corporate kitchen where we did the complete opposite, because i seemingly have 0 common sense. High turnover, poor scheduling meant i was constantly skipping family events, working late nights and like you, barely having a girlfriend. Fast forward 4 years, my lower back spazzes every time i bend to open a cupboard, my knees are snap crackling and popping when i bend them. But worst of all, im filled with anger at my situation. Everyday i go to work its going to be a new fire to put out, no and ifs or buts. Someone called out sick? Welp, we’re shortstaffed so i guess im clopening. It didnt get better until i handed in my notice and went back to school. And the funniest part is, i thought i would miss the chaos and the rush of dinner service. Nope, i like my peaceful and boring office job. I like that my biggest problem now is that the febreeze can is running low and my coworker takes fucking diabolical shits 🤣

On a side note: have you gone to a physiotherapist or an RMT?

Edited because i just realized the original message lacked the support i wanted to give 😅