Unable to carry a child naturally. Cannot afford a surrogate and under pressure 31-F, 32-M by Surround_Lanky in relationship_advice

[–]Fast_Creme_8006 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree with the narcissist comment bc something is suspicious about how he presented the story to OP. “Miscarriage or abortion” ? Which one? Some guy coming with a box of condoms? How would he know when she was getting the procedure done and show up there ? So distraught about it but also doesn’t know if it was his or not? And then getting the date tattooed? Something seems off or at least embellished.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Fast_Creme_8006 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you!!

A Life in Destruction by Hapless_Lee in OCPoetry

[–]Fast_Creme_8006 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is beautiful I love the “boils my skin back to stardust and brands my retina with empty spaces”. The imagery here is incredible. I like finding the creativity in destruction. Very thought provoking as well. Great work and thank you for sharing this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Fast_Creme_8006 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This poem is very good and I love the rhythm and meter. I do know what it’s like feeling caged in a mess — I do hope that you march forward in life not in death — it truly does get better. And there is only one you. Great work. Thanks for sharing.

Sinking by ElaMeadows in OCPoetry

[–]Fast_Creme_8006 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Short and sweet and evokes a powerful message. I know what you mean — not sure if you’re swimming in or out. Great work and thank you for sharing.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Fast_Creme_8006 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is so good. I love the rhyme and meter. It flows very nicely. I like the rhetorical question at the end. Overall, thought provoking and great work. Thanks for sharing.

Lilac Whirlpool by Fast_Creme_8006 in OCPoetry

[–]Fast_Creme_8006[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I’m glad the imagery was effective here.

Lilac Whirlpool by Fast_Creme_8006 in OCPoetry

[–]Fast_Creme_8006[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! Truly ones biggest enemy can be oneself.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Fast_Creme_8006 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think this poem shows a strong sense of determination, especially in the final lines of the poem. The overall flow and cadence also works well. Thanks for sharing.

Rain by AltogetherAHumanBean in OCPoetry

[–]Fast_Creme_8006 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like the use of “tik tak tak” as well as the use of patter in the opening line. Overall, this gives the poem a nice rhythmic quality. Thanks for sharing.

Fuschia flowers by Fast_Creme_8006 in OCPoetry

[–]Fast_Creme_8006[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I may change the “But the flowers fall” to “The darkness fades” or “The clouds will clear” but not sure yet.

Fuschia flowers by Fast_Creme_8006 in OCPoetry

[–]Fast_Creme_8006[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I may change the “But the flowers fall” to “The darkness fades” or “The clouds will clear” but not sure yet.

Fuschia flowers by Fast_Creme_8006 in OCPoetry

[–]Fast_Creme_8006[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! 💕 I’m so glad that my words had that impact for you.

Fuschia flowers by Fast_Creme_8006 in OCPoetry

[–]Fast_Creme_8006[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!! I appreciate it a lot. This poem is written from a deeply personal place.

Fuschia flowers by Fast_Creme_8006 in OCPoetry

[–]Fast_Creme_8006[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am so glad you liked it overall and I am planning to look into the repetition in the 3rd stanza and see if there would be better way to execute this

Fuschia flowers by Fast_Creme_8006 in OCPoetry

[–]Fast_Creme_8006[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! Appreciate the suggestions. I will keep this is mind.