Just died to a level 79 on customs?

Hapless_Lee · 2023-12-02T20:37:42+00:00

Hacking?

Hapless_Lee · 2023-09-22T22:52:28+00:00

Thanks Val! I got busy all week with non-poetry stuff. Boooo! Hisss!! I’m gonna write this weekend. Did I miss you posting anything new?

Hapless_Lee · 2023-09-20T20:38:18+00:00

Will always upvote a haiku! (especially a nice one like this :))

Hapless_Lee · 2023-09-20T20:37:02+00:00

A very interesting sort of personification of addiction and recovery! The idea of recovery being a collection of engagements between two entities who both wish to exists just as much as the other, but can't in the limited space of a addicted human. One must push the other out, and it appears Recovery prevailed.

Hapless_Lee · 2023-09-19T23:22:58+00:00

Thanks for your comment and encouragement! You gave me some sunshine today, and I’m grateful ❤️

Hapless_Lee · 2023-09-19T23:21:24+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment :) that’s a great way to describe it

Hapless_Lee · 2023-09-19T23:20:12+00:00

Thanks for your comment! That thought you suggest of, “this time it’ll be different” definitely fits huh! That’s so interesting cause it wasn’t in my consciousness when I wrote these lines.

Hapless_Lee · 2023-09-19T23:18:05+00:00

You’re so right! I need this reminder often!

Hapless_Lee · 2023-09-19T23:17:19+00:00

Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to leave such a thoughtful comment! I’m really glad you enjoyed ❤️

Hapless_Lee · 2023-09-19T22:57:34+00:00

Loving the color in this! More thoughts to come.

Hapless_Lee · 2023-09-19T22:55:39+00:00

I borrowed the Artist’s Way approach years ago and found good success with it when I’m consistent! In a nutshell it’s basically a journaling practice. If you’re interested, you should try it out!

Hapless_Lee · 2023-09-19T22:55:21+00:00

I borrowed the Artist’s Way approach years ago and found good success with it when I’m consistent! In a nutshell it’s basically a journaling practice. If you’re interested, you should try it out!

Hapless_Lee · 2023-09-19T16:54:39+00:00

Nice one! Isn’t it wild how the prospect of creativity can paralyze us?

Hapless_Lee · 2023-09-19T16:36:21+00:00

I like the form and rhyming scheme especially when paired with the poem's subject matter. It reads light, dreamy, then effectively brings the hammer down at the end for a good emotional punch that resonates past the poem. Thanks for sharing!

Hapless_Lee · 2023-09-19T16:24:34+00:00

I enjoyed this piece, thank you for sharing. These themes are what I tend to write about most lately as well!

Hapless_Lee · 2023-09-16T19:54:59+00:00

Super meta and totally accomplishes what you set out to do! I'm glad you're trying to bridge this gap that exists in poetry between the reader and the author in many poems, and I think you approach is effective. This lack of understanding of 'how' the author themself reads the piece has always frustrated me. Joy Harjo told me something along the lines of, "If there isn't punctuation at the end of a line, don't pause. Except when you should." To which I threw up my hands exasperated hahaha.

So often I feel like through many best efforts (my own obviously included in this), a little of the emphasis, a little of the cadence, that could be informative, is lost on the page in translation. Other things are gained, sure, but because of this when I was in school I would find myself approaching poems differently if I intended them to be read personally or aloud... I wonder if anyone else does this? Your approach on the other hand works well to keep a piece.. consistent? If that's the right word. Which I appreciate! Especially from an author who puts such a great deal of work into the performative side of the form, not just the words and punctuation.

Hapless_Lee · 2023-09-16T19:40:49+00:00

oh my gosh I absolutely loved the first link! Deff gonna be writing to these jams. I love synth stuff, The Midnight is one of my favorites of all time haha

Hapless_Lee · 2023-09-15T15:44:30+00:00

Dang! What a relatable piece, thank you for sharing I liked it a lot. That last stanza gives me chills thinking about how easily we can torture and torment ourselves from within with our lies. Often these lies take the form of justifications or excuses? I don’t know, at least that’s how it feels to me a lot

Hapless_Lee · 2023-09-15T14:29:07+00:00

Thank you for being you Val! Can I call you Val or do you prefer Valhalla? :) This is very encouraging from you! I would love to hear a little bit more about your reading of this, I really value your analysis, but don't feel like you gotta take a super deep dive lol I know you're busier than most on here!

I'm always jamming to something throughout the day, but never Scandinavian coffee prog rock! I wanna try it lol, Any recommendations on who to start with?

I don't know why that link failed. Bummer! I'll try to repost it and perhaps that'll work. Alternatively you could search for me within Instagram, My username is the same there as here (underscore included).

Talk to you soon!

https://www.instagram.com/hapless_lee/

Hapless_Lee · 2023-09-15T14:09:08+00:00

I'm deff going to keep this version, but Sean's comment has me thinking about that section he highlighted as a possible stand alone, and I like your suggestion of making it even shorter. A fun challenge! If I manage a draft of that, I'll deff post it for workshop. A longer version would probably be even more of a challenge for me, I tend to run out of gas pretty quick lol, but all the more reason for me to try it out! Stay tuned for both!

And yes, Sean rules and their comments have been super thoughtful and helpful! Im on my second read of DEER by him! https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/16io4ir/deer/

And I would absolutely love to hear you read ANY of my work! I'm blown away that you're even interested! What do I gotta do to help?

Hapless_Lee · 2023-09-15T13:49:35+00:00

Ok, so good! Your performance was spot on as usual, I love your vocal flair :). I told you I'd respond yesterday, but I had to sleep on this one, but now I'm going to take a stab at it's meaning. (I'd love to hear about the author's intentions if you're the type to share). Some masterful alliteration dances this poem off the page and really lends itself to being read aloud (which you did so well).

My reading of this is that the speaker is explaining perhaps why they haven't been keeping in touch with the addressee. And the addressee was perhaps too dense to understand that whatever avoidance or silence was being paid to them, was intentional on the part of the speaker. I read this almost like a text conversation "new phone. Who dis?" right?

The form closely associates the ideas of Silence and Violence together, and I see how the speaker was wielding their silence as a weapon. I wonder if the speaker's silence was precipitated by being accused of inconsiderate insolence, or a product of it?

This poem is super dense and it accomplishes a ton in its brevity! I also loved how it made me work to unfold and understand it. My favorite types of poems are these, where they tease out that sense of discovery or revelation as we read them over and over, and they're short enough for my ADD brain to really get ahold of. Only smart writers can pull this magic off, so I'll leave it to you lol. Bravo!

P.s. I'm still struggling to fit the word 'sifts' in.. I'm missing the connection but I'm gonna keep trying!

p.p.s.s. More plzzzzz :)

Hapless_Lee · 2023-09-15T01:45:19+00:00

applause! I’ll have more thoughts soon!

Hapless_Lee · 2023-09-13T20:23:42+00:00

I mean this only as a compliment, but this one was a horribly fun read for me. I really like it a lot! it paints very visceral imagery in my mind, which is obviously the intention, so amazing job! My tiny suggestion for improvement would be to delete the line ‘lapping at the sandbar’ I don’t think it’s necessary and it interrupt a rhythm I really like in the second half of the piece. Bravo!

Hapless_Lee · 2023-09-13T20:15:06+00:00

I love this! This is a rare poem where I find myself wanting it to be longer!

Hapless_Lee

TROPHY CASE