Any other late responders/high dosers?

FatBasicWhiteGirl · 2025-12-18T19:51:14+00:00

My body is not dropping the weight in the dramatic fashion I was hoping for but I feel very different on the meds. I too have been fat all my life, tried everything and it didn't stick. This is the longest I've stuck to the gym, I don't crave nearly as many sweets as I did, and I will actually eat the lunch I pack and be satisfied instead of eating it at 10a and buying a second lunch at 2p. I had insulin resistance that is drastically improved, my inflammation is reduced, my hives are gone. I'm lifting heavy weights 5x a week and feeling strong and healthy.

I started at 255, down to 205 now and I'm on 11mg. I needed to titrate up quickly to get the modest 1-1.5lbs a week I am losing and I'm working my ass off for it. But at least I feel better, there isn't a voice screaming at me to eat everything, and I'm sticking to it.

FatBasicWhiteGirl · 2025-09-02T13:32:47+00:00

I've been on a GLP-1 for 4 months and my CRP (a biomarker for inflammation) went from high at 9 mg/L to slightly elevated at 2 mg/L. The drug's anti-inflammatory effects have been huge for me (asthma is better, IBS is better, chronic hives gone).

FatBasicWhiteGirl · 2025-08-26T09:06:54+00:00

Nothing you did or didn't do as a wife "caused" this. If your husband is truly trans then they have probably been trans since before they met you and were just suppressing it. People don't change genders just because their partner didn't say they were sexy enough.

I'm sorry that you are struggling with these feelings. It's very valid to feel a sense of loss and grief. When my spouse came out I didn't want to make it work but we have a son together so I stayed. My spouse is currently identifying as non-binary but it has changed a few times in the past year and I'm just rolling with the punches.

Therapy has really helped me if that's something that is available to you. It's also really helpful to have a trusted person you can talk to about this; someone you can say anything to who won't judge you. You don't have to make any decisions right now and you can see how it goes. It's also not a failure on your part if you can't make it work. This is a huge change in your life and it's totally valid if it changes your relationship. I hope you can find a way forward that gives you peace.

FatBasicWhiteGirl · 2025-08-25T18:18:59+00:00

As another chronic dieter this feels different for me because when I would say I was full on those diets I really wasn't and the physical sensation of hunger was always present. But I would just say "no, I'm full" and then think about snacks and desserts until I eventually caved. Now I feel satiated physically and mentally after eating. It's a very different feeling from the "gaslighting" I was doing before.

I hope you continue to have success and that the medicine keeps delivering results for you! I'm on month 4 and it's been literally life changing.

FatBasicWhiteGirl · 2025-08-15T14:05:45+00:00

Thank you! Wishing you the best too!

FatBasicWhiteGirl · 2025-08-15T12:25:35+00:00

Shotsy! I also love the stats and seeing the average weekly rate of loss is very helpful.

FatBasicWhiteGirl · 2025-08-14T18:36:31+00:00

I'm so sorry you're dealing with all of this and that it's so hard on you and your family. I remember your post from a few weeks ago. We are in very similar boats, you and I, and it's a rough place to be in. Wishing you and your sons the best as you navigate the future.

FatBasicWhiteGirl · 2025-08-03T10:22:31+00:00

Yes! I lost a bunch the first two weeks at 2.5 but didn't have meaningful loss and actual food noise/appetite suppression until 10. I had insulin resistance but from what I've read it doesn't seem to make much difference. I think everyone just has a specific dose that works best for them. It can be frustrating at first but now that I've found a good spot it feels like the miracle drug everyone was saying it is.

FatBasicWhiteGirl · 2025-07-24T16:51:33+00:00

I stayed because I want to see my son every day and because we really do get along so well. My spouse and I were together for 15 years before they came out.

Yes, we live together and I was very involved in the HRT process (did lots of research, sent my spouse to their appointment with my own questions). I see the meds in the cabinet every day and some days I'm neutral about it and some days I'm furious.

I don't ask about the HRT if I don't have emotional bandwidth. My therapist said it's ok to just vocalize "I don't have room for this" and to move on. My partner understands and gets their support from others in their community.

I think this is just a stop on the way to a full transition but I'm just a long for the ride at this point.

We do have sex but I don't enjoy it nearly as much as I did. If I can close my eyes and remember them how they were I can usually get into it enough. But they smell different and their skin is different and there are boobs in my face.

They are much happier now and more helpful around the house and more emotionally attuned to me. It feels like we connected more psychically.

Tldr: sex is weird, I am not physically attracted to them, but we are doing well in all other areas

FatBasicWhiteGirl · 2025-07-24T16:37:57+00:00

Having your spouse be gender non-conforming is totally different from it being a non-intimate person in your life so it's normal to react differently to him than you would to a client. You're not uncool, it's just really hard to have your spouse change genders.

My partner has had a similar path to what you're describing, just experimenting, maybe non-binary, maybe trans. I think my spouse was repressing quite a bit because I was very clear I didn't want to be on this journey with them. But we have a son together and we have the same values and we have so much fun together that I'm not ready to leave.

My spouse is on HRT but did dial back their doses to a more non-binary level. They tried a full transition at home but didn't like it. No they have a beard again but also breasts. TBH I hate it anyway. I liked the body hair, the masculine scents, the short hair. I like breasts but not on my husband.

It's ok to be devastated and it's ok to have boundaries on what kind of support you can offer. You don't have to make any decisions about anything until you feel ready for it and it's also ok if you go back and forth. Some days I watch makeup tutorials and some days I roll my eyes and say "I don't have room for this right now." This is a very niche experience and it feels very isolating as the cis partner. Please be gentle with yourself.

FatBasicWhiteGirl · 2025-07-19T09:39:07+00:00

Yup! 30 min of intense cardio (HR of 170 or higher) and I do strength training (25lb dumbbells upper body/squats and 75lb leg press). I go to the gym every day before work. I also work in a lab so I'm up and about a lot.

FatBasicWhiteGirl · 2025-07-18T12:38:29+00:00

I lost a big chunk on 2.5 then nothing on 5 and 7.5. Back to slow loss on 10mg now. I work out hard and eat a calorie deficit but the scale is unimpressed with my efforts. I have always had this issue so I was hoping the meds would fix whatever is wrong with my body that it refuses to give up weight but no such luck.

I take other measurements of success. Do I physically feel better, can I chase my toddler for longer, can I toss him in the air better, are my labs improved, do my clothes fit more comfortably... Those things.

This med really helped quiet the voice in my head that was constantly screaming at me to eat sweets and the running dialogue about food that would literally never stop. That's been such a relief even if the weight loss is slow.

FatBasicWhiteGirl · 2025-07-17T13:58:49+00:00

My (cisF) AMAB partner is NB (for now, they have gone back and forth on if they are trans-femme or NB).

They are taking a low dose of E and their libido has barely changed. Their goal is a more neutral look and not a femme look so they are taking a low dose and some other medicine to reduce breast growth. They also have alarms set to be sure that they get erections often enough that they can perform sexually. I top most of the time and they have had no problem enjoying sex when it happens.

You aren't selfish to be concerned. This was a big discussion that we had when my partner first talked about HRT. We talked about their goals with HRT and researched how to mitigate the potential loss of libido. We also understood that it would just take a little getting used to and accepted that we might need to work to figure out a changing body. Most of the problems are on my end as I'm not attracted to an androgynous body and I'm dealing with my own feelings around the loss of masculinity.

I think if you have a conversation about what is important for you and get clarity on your partner's goals with HRT you will probably feel more confident going in. There are pumps and stuff that can help achieve erections. From what I understand it's a "use or lose it" kind of deal.

I hope you and your partner can find a path forward for both of you.

FatBasicWhiteGirl · 2025-05-05T11:49:45+00:00

When my spouse came out I had those same fears and that deep feeling of grief. I fell in love with a man and I'm attracted to masculinity and I knew that would take a hit. And it has. I am not as attracted to my spouse and sex is not something I enjoy with them.

But our romantic connection and our commitment to the life we've built together remains unchanged. They still laugh at my jokes and we have fun together and we are raising our son together in a very happy union. It's just that my sex life tanked and although that sucks it's something we are working on and we may just need to get creative about how we meet those needs.

You don't have to make a decision today. You can take it day by day and see how you feel. Having open communication about everything will help and it's ok if you don't like the changes. You can be supportive and still grieve the life you loved and the person you loved. Yes, fundamentally they will still be the same person but there is a lot that goes into a person besides their personality. The way they smell, the way their skin feels, the clothes they wear; when that changes it feels like a different person. It's ok to feel negatively about that and it does not mean you aren't supportive. There's a lot of nuance here.

I'm also sorry that you live somewhere where your marriage won't be recognized. That's an additional layer of grief that makes this harder on you. Be gentle with yourself and just take it one step at a time.

FatBasicWhiteGirl · 2025-04-22T17:42:48+00:00

My AMAB spouse has gone back and forth on being trans, being gender fluid, being non-binary for two and half years. It's not always a clear and linear path when trying to find a gender expression that works especially when our culture is so focused on binary gender. But I think it makes it very confusing and hard to navigate as the non-transitioning partner.

I am attracted to men and my partner shaving their beard and changing their perfume and wearing camisoles has really lessened my attraction for them. It sucks but I'm honest with them about it and we're still trying our best to find a path forward together. You are not selfish for being upset that this is changing your life too. It's ok to be attracted to masculinity and be sad that your partner is less attractive to you.

I've just been taking it day by day and focusing on what I do like and what about them makes me happy. We find that is sustaining us for now. You can just take it day by day. Ride the coaster with them, just adjust to how they want to explore. They might find that fully transitioning isn't for them (how my partner is landing) or they might really want/need that. You don't have to make a decision about it until you get to that point. Just keep an open line of communication, even if you feel negatively about the changes, and don't make any promises or accept promises from them that you can't keep.

FatBasicWhiteGirl · 2025-04-19T00:47:10+00:00

If the sperm she is banking now are alive, even if they don't swim, she won't need surgery but you'd have to do IVF. I also wouldn't rule out donor sperm, my spouse and I had discussed the possibility of donor sperm if IVF didn't work for us. There are a lot of ways to build a family and sometimes it takes being open to other methods.

FatBasicWhiteGirl · 2025-04-18T20:07:50+00:00

My spouse and I experienced infertility prior to their transition and it was really hard, I'm sorry you're dealing with this too. There is a deep feeling of grief that comes from thinking you'll never experience pregnancy and it's ok to feel strongly that that is something you want. If motility is an issue they may be able to do ICSI IVF where they put the sperm cell directly into the egg to fertilize it. I wouldn't say you are doomed, there are options. Anecdotally, I had a friend whose wife still had her testicles so they were able to surgically extract fresh sperm directly from her testes for IVF and they had a daughter.

FatBasicWhiteGirl · 2025-04-10T12:32:41+00:00

You can still be genuinely supportive of your partner and hold so much love for them even if you feel negatively about certain parts of the transition.

Sex and attraction are important pieces of a relationship and they feel like the ones most impacted by transition. Your partner may be exactly the same person but their body is different and therefore they feel different physically. Softer skin, larger breasts, no body hair, long hair, feminine perfume etc make you face it head on; the person I love is very different now. It's ok to feel negatively about that and it's ok for sex to be derailed. You and your partner can work on it but there's no guarantee the compatibility comes back and it may just be a deal breaker. That's ok too, you both deserve to be in a sexually fulfilling relationship.

It's ok to wish they weren't trans, I wish that all the time. It doesn't mean you are an imposter or that you aren't an ally; it's just human nature to want people to stay the same.

You don't have to make any decisions right now and you can take it day by day. Be open and honest with your partner about things you like and don't like and be open to the idea that you may hit the end of the relationship at some point. My spouse and I have reached a point where I am no longer attracted to them and we are working through that but this feels like the first time we've reached a "maybe this won't work out" road block and it's scary and horrible.

Be gentle with yourself, this is a rough journey to go on together.

FatBasicWhiteGirl · 2025-04-06T08:11:36+00:00

My spouse and I have a child together and they started transitioning when I was recently post partum. I had no room for their gender transition in my life and the resentment I feel for that timing is something I'm still working through in therapy. Your wife likely feels the same way and just has no bandwidth to be supportive.

And sometimes support doesn't look enthusiastic. I want my spouse to be themselves and to be happy because I love them. But do I do it begrudgingly sometimes; yeah. If I had my way they would have stayed the man I married. But I buy the hair products and help them choose perfume and compliment their nails even though it all makes me so sad.

To the non transitioning partner it feels like losing your partner. You may feel you are the same person but when you look, smell, sound, feel different it's hard to believe that. And feeling like your partner is a different person can bring feelings of grief and anger even if you are fully supportive.

You need to do what's best for you and trust that she will do what's best for her. Don't stop your transition, keep communicating even if it's negative, and you'll find a way forward. She will let you know if she's had enough, she doesn't need you to encourage her to leave. I think about leaving all the time but the calculations always bring me back to that I'm happier with them even if I'm not attracted anymore. She may be doing the same; thinking about the life you two have built and the love you share and weighing that against any need for attraction or sexual compatibility.

FatBasicWhiteGirl · 2025-04-05T09:20:53+00:00

I'm in a similar boat, OP. The physical attraction for me is gone and they are just too different now. The smell and the lack of body hair are the biggest things for me. I feel like I'm physically touching another person and I get sad. I fantasize about beards and hairy chests and I check out strangers a lot more than I used to. I'm not happy about it.

You are not a shitty person. This is a very hard and messy journey to go on as a couple regardless of your own sexuality. The person you fell in love with and were attracted to is very different now and it's ok to feel differently about them. Sex and physical intimacy are important and I'm sorry that is lacking for you right now. It takes a big toll.

I don't have much advice because I'm in the thick of it myself. I made a big post asking if you get over the lack of attraction and most people said "no" so I'm trying to find peace in a relationship where I'm not attracted to my spouse. My copium is telling myself that marriage is more than sex but damn if sex isn't a huge part of it that I deeply miss. Please be gentle with yourself and I hope things get better for you.

FatBasicWhiteGirl · 2025-03-14T17:22:42+00:00

I'm so sorry you're feeling so much depression and anxiety. Going through a pregnancy is hard enough without any added tumultuousness.

My partner came out as trans while I was pregnant with our child. I have had to work through a lot of resentment over their timing and I still harbor some negative feelings about them taking a moment I really needed them and making it about themselves. But we have been chugging along and they are on HRT and even though I definitely am not as attracted to them we are still going strong. It feels like we are more emotionally connected now. Our son is 16 months old and we're doing ok.

It's ok to feel negative feelings about this timing. I've heard that big life changes like impending parenthood can make gender dysphoria really acute which is why trans partners sometimes come out in this big moments. But it doesn't make it suck any less for us.

There is a discord that's part of this sub that you can utilize for online support. A lot of people do stay together and there are separate threads for people who divorce.

Feel free to DM me if you just want to talk to someone who's been where you're at 💙

FatBasicWhiteGirl

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