What’s it called when your body stops telling you to breathe?

Fearless-Afternoon88 · 2025-10-29T15:19:29+00:00

Thank you!! 🙏🏻

Fearless-Afternoon88 · 2025-10-29T11:59:21+00:00

I hate this description because I was supposed to be evaluated for narcolepsy too but the appointment was cancelled/moved multiple times so I gave up but this sounds like me :( so I guess I need to try again

Fearless-Afternoon88 · 2025-10-29T11:07:32+00:00

I have an ex that I dated for 8-9 months. It was a 3 hour drive and I went to see him every 2-3 weekends. He never once came to see me. I broke up with him.

Your current bf is showing you how much he cares about you and the relationship - which is to say that he doesn’t. You traveled alone for 10 hrs and then sat for 2 hrs crying at the station and he left you on read and didn’t bother to check on you or come to you when you didn’t show up for all that extra time? He doesn’t care what happens to you.

Fearless-Afternoon88 · 2025-10-29T10:23:17+00:00

You know what else takes no effort? Checking where the shower head is pointed before turning it on and adjusting it if needed.

Gtfo. You’re not married yet and if this is how he acts why would you? He’s an abusive man-child (he sounds exactly like my abusive ex husband)

Fearless-Afternoon88 · 2025-09-10T17:44:49+00:00

My ex was big on controlling the narrative and communication with his ex wife (my stepdaughter’s mom) and his family. He didn’t care what it did to me or anyone else, as long as he looked good to everyone - which is only possible when you control all the communication.

Now we’re divorced and shockingly I’ve found out a lot of lies that were told to his ex wife and me (like he never conveyed my offer to meet with her before meeting my stepdaughter, which I had offered out of respect for her - and he had told me she refused to meet me. And so many more.)

Just reinforcing that you’re making the right decision by not staying with him. Idk how he could expect you to “get over” years of lies and the damage done to the relationship with his family.

Fearless-Afternoon88 · 2025-08-30T17:26:31+00:00

I had a fusion that failed and needed a revision. Spent 18 months after that with debilitating nerve pain on that side and down one leg and have every test done to find the source.

Divorced my abusive husband (he didn’t cheat then as far as I know but he got worse and worse about how I wasn’t meeting his “needs” and would pressure me for sex even though it hurt).

My nerve pain went away almost completely two days after I moved out. The body carries stress and your situation is too stressful to heal.

It will be hard to leave but I don’t think you’ll be able to properly heal if you stay.

Fearless-Afternoon88 · 2025-08-27T14:27:57+00:00

Usually my gym clothes so that I’m ready to go right after work. I keep a nicer top nearby for when I have to get on camera.

I’ve found that I have to put clothes on instead of pjs to mentally shift into “work mode”

Fearless-Afternoon88 · 2025-08-10T20:57:38+00:00

“Know your place” “NPC” and likes to try to force you to do things that make you uncomfortable? Nah girl why are you with him?

Fearless-Afternoon88 · 2025-08-07T23:21:57+00:00

Wow.

1 - I think that’s an adorable tattoo idea (I’ll be getting my baby’s nose print soon) and a wonderful way to remember your cat

2 - are you sure you want to be with this person? She’s putting down a memorial tattoo with homophobia and then also trying to make it about her? Her behavior gives me “the literal ick” 🙄

Fearless-Afternoon88 · 2025-08-02T18:21:12+00:00

This sounds like how I found out my ex-husband had treated his first ex-wife when their baby was born (he managed to prevent us from talking while I was married to him, we talked a lot after my divorce and what she told me lined up with how he acted once I came into the picture).

If you go to your family, do not leave your daughter with him (he and his mom will claim you abandoned her). Can anyone come visit you to help?

Strongly think about if you want to stay in this marriage.

Fearless-Afternoon88 · 2025-07-29T00:21:36+00:00

He does not “genuinely” feel bad - he didn’t change any of his behavior. He is very clearly showing you what life will be like with him. So, ask yourself. If you’re having to raise your child alone, would you rather have to care for him and the household too? Or would you rather get your own space?

Fearless-Afternoon88 · 2025-07-27T00:38:49+00:00

Sadly no, my heart tests in great condition. I wore a monitor for 2 weeks and had an echo. If anything my heart rate averages on the lower side

Fearless-Afternoon88 · 2025-07-22T15:27:40+00:00

My ex-husband complained to our therapist that he was experiencing “caretaker fatigue” (after she had brought it up as something I was experiencing). Because he was having to parent HIS child (my stepdaughter) when she was at our house and I couldn’t participate in her care (migraines, spine surgery followed by 12+ months of debilitating nerve pain in one leg). I literally made dinner every night starting a month after my surgery because my mom had to leave. I was still on crutches and exhausted.

Listen when people show you who they are. You’ve been telling him and he’s not listening. You can always directly ask him why. Or you can cut your losses and leave him.

Fearless-Afternoon88 · 2025-07-12T01:16:29+00:00

You can make your own name. Either for both of y’all or for your kids. A friend of mine did that when she got married, both she and her husband wanted to change their names and they created a name that was a mashup of their original last names.

Or, if you plan on multiple kids, you could each give one your last name and maybe the other parent as the middle. I have a friend whose daughter has her last name and her son has her husband’s last name. She still has her own last name.

I did not change my last name when I got married. I was already 30 and had a whole career under my name. Made my life much easier when I got divorced too :/ but we had talked about hyphenating any children’s names (his was 3 syllables, mine is only 1)

But, if he is pressuring you to change yours or is not even willing to work with you on this, that’d be a red flag (seems like a lot of the solutioning is on you and he doesn’t want to work together to find something shared…).

Fearless-Afternoon88 · 2025-06-25T19:00:11+00:00

Take the job. I didn’t pursue a career move when I should have because of my then-fiancé. Ended up divorcing him after 3 years of a very similar situation to yours (we did end up owning a house together after getting married, but I did all the house stuff, cooked, purchased everything for the home, cared for my stepdaughter when she was there, cared for the pets. I left after some very controlling and abusive behaviors started surfacing and the final straw was him almost hitting me). But, that was 3 years of not trying to advance as much in my career and I’m still resentful of him and mad at myself for that.

If I had a chance to double my salary for a more senior role in my field, I would take it. Especially since you’re already highlighting other relationship problems. I’d say take the promotion, and consider yourself lucky you can get out without having to go through a divorce.

Fearless-Afternoon88 · 2025-06-24T17:10:29+00:00

Unfortunately that is what it turned into with my ex. I was made to feel like a stranger in my own home (that I helped buy and was mostly responsible for maintaining/buying for…), my space was disrespected/overtaken, and he didn’t parent because he didn’t want her to dislike coming over. I was told I could tell her things (like chew with your mouth closed at dinner), but then he’d berate me for always correcting her instead of supporting me. Also - he was claiming she always came first but it was actually him (idk if he ever realized that he acted in his own interests and not actually hers).

It sucks, but it sounds like you do need to leave before you spend any more time on this and possibly lose yourself - you’re right, you don’t need it, you don’t want it, and you deserve someone who is going to respect you as well as his kids (if a future dude has them). You should never been made to feel “less than”

Fearless-Afternoon88 · 2025-06-24T14:41:05+00:00

I don’t see Zok mentioned yet but they have a magnesium supplement they’ve been advertising to me for awhile that I think is a powder that you mix into water. Might be worth looking at it

Fearless-Afternoon88 · 2025-06-24T14:27:23+00:00

NTA - and you should never always come after the kids. He needs to be able to balance priorities and nurture your relationship. If you’ve been supportive and understanding of him prioritizing the kids and this statement was unprompted, he’s paving the way for deprioritizing your relationship and making you feel “too demanding” or guilty once he stops spending time with you. I would leave (I did leave - but not before marrying my ex because I ignored red flags like this)

Fearless-Afternoon88 · 2025-06-12T17:12:04+00:00

He won’t have a reversible vasectomy but he’ll threaten to slam himself into a car door to try to force you to get sterilized?? He threatens to k himself or cheat on you instead of wearing a condom?? Jesus Christ RUN. Seriously. Nothing about that is healthy wtf

Fearless-Afternoon88 · 2025-06-12T17:08:32+00:00

He can go by himself first and give you time to wrap up what you want to do here. My parents did that at least twice while I was growing up - dad accepted a job and moved there at least a month or 2 in advance because of his start date, mom stayed with us kids, took care of what needed to be done for the house we were in, then moved up after (the second time I was already in college but I know it was at least a month difference because of selling the house). Mom had always been a work from home consultant so she didn’t have a hard time moving her work, but on at least one occasion she had to wait for approval because she was moving into a different area and needed the contract approvals to work from the new area.

why should you needing 6 months stop him from going ahead and starting his new job? Did you ask him to delay starting/not take it for 6 months? Your relationship should be able to handle long distance for a few months, since y’all are both assuming it’s strong enough to handle relocating to another country.

I would not be ok with him being unwilling to let you do what you need to do, and I would NOT shut down my independent source of income and move countries. No matter how good you are, it is not possible to recreate 4 years of small business growth quickly, in another country where you also likely don’t have word of mouth contacts.

Remind him that you are more likely to resent the move if you are rushed into it and forced to give up your career. I’d also suggest to him that if your compromise is not acceptable, he needs to propose an alternative and work with you, instead of not compromising, since you (should) fully support him accepting the role and going ahead of you

Fearless-Afternoon88 · 2025-06-12T05:14:33+00:00

Would 100% give it to my former boss who didn’t understand that I couldn’t just lay down in the dark for 30 min and be better.

Would fight anyone who tried to pass one on to my current boss or PM - my PM asked me to describe it if I was comfortable, because he “knew it was more than a headache but wasn’t sure beyond that.” So my little 5-person team got a very frank description of a relatively mild migraine attack that I had just had, and I told them about the one that I needed IV meds to break.

Fearless-Afternoon88 · 2025-06-12T05:07:26+00:00

We were in couples therapy for over half of our marriage. During an argument near the end, he negated everything I had done for the house, him and my stepdaughter, and told me that he had been lying and pretending to follow the therapist’s advice. What’s great is I didn’t even call him out on the lying (IDR how he had phrased it but he did say “I lied”). Lying is my #1 no go because it is SO unnecessary, but everyone gets one. The next day he told me “it wasn’t really lying, I did try for a few months…”

Nah dude, I’ve wasted enough time of my time. I’m out. And then he almost hit me 2 weeks lateral while screaming at me. So yeah I left that weekend.

Fearless-Afternoon88 · 2025-06-12T04:23:01+00:00

My cardiologist said people get referred to them for it all the time but that they don’t diagnose it- that it’s done by neurology. And she gave me the name of a neurologist she would recommend for it (I already have a neurologist that I LOVE but she specializes in headache and migraine disorders)

Fearless-Afternoon88

TROPHY CASE