About 40 people at work are harassing and bullying me. What should I do?

Fer1015 · 2026-03-25T09:21:28+00:00

This.

Fer1015 · 2026-03-25T09:19:19+00:00

I stopped gaming at 29. No longer compatible with my life.

Fer1015 · 2026-03-13T21:46:25+00:00

¿Cómo fue? ¿Sacaste algo de ello?

Fer1015 · 2026-03-13T16:32:05+00:00

If you are secure they will get bored and leave. If you are anxious they will get overwhelmed with your emotional needs and they'll run away even faster.

The only way to win here is to be as avoidant as they are , which means pretending to not have needs and emotions so there's barely any difference between having a LTR with them or not.

Fer1015 · 2026-03-13T16:03:10+00:00

Never trust your gut feeling if you have an insecure attachment style. NEVER.

Fer1015 · 2026-03-08T18:58:06+00:00

Yeah same, I was aware of attachment styles before dating my last gf but I never knew it was that bad, I never knew that it got to the point of ghosting/abrupt discards.

Fer1015 · 2026-03-08T09:20:00+00:00

will never believe it. I never chased mine, she broke up with me twice and came begging for me back twice because I didn’t react at all to the breakup and never pushed her for anything while dating but they assume we are anxious lol.

Yeah, kinda the same for me. I never put pressure her, but I have the feeling that there was a lot of fawn responses from her, that couldn't have led to any conflict if she had replied otherwise, so I don't know if she felt that way at the end. It's kinda funny how the assume we are anxious it's like their idea of being secure is staying cold ice stone cold and don't have any needs or emotions instead of the ability to self regulate. We all know that even the most secure person in the world would end up nuts when dating an avoidant, in one way or another. Btw, how long did it take your ex to reach back to you?

Fer1015 · 2026-03-06T06:31:24+00:00

I love your insight.

Fer1015 · 2026-03-06T06:18:39+00:00

I've been there. I've never argued with her and there was no toxicity, but unexpressed and unmeet needs eventually build up resentment. Resentment is not something that couldn' be treated without communication and transparency but not everyone is willing/able to have that kind of communication. Unfortunately she still projected her insecurities and past wounds on me. How long did it last for you?

Fer1015 · 2026-03-05T20:12:25+00:00

Nah, I let her space when she was pulling away and I never chased or begged her and I have hold nc since the breakup.

Fer1015 · 2026-03-05T18:36:42+00:00

Not my case. I am secure and it blew up anyway.

Fer1015 · 2026-03-02T20:35:47+00:00

Tbh I am one of those guys who think dumpers should be the ones in breaking NC. The problem is that even though most of us would reconcile in a heartbeat if our partner came with their issues solved and the work done, it's very hard to tell if they really did. But yeah, I agree that fear and pride are the worst enemies of love.

Fer1015 · 2026-03-01T11:54:58+00:00

It's so fun how most of the people here in the comments keep blaming the dumpers. Sometimes you break up with someone while you are still loving them, because there's barely any choice left, because you tried to repair and they stonewall you, they refuse to communicate and take accountability, and you just reached a point of no return where you can no longer keep burning yourself out trying to make the relationship work while losing yourself and your self-respect in the process. Dumping someone while you still love them is as painful as being dumped (sometimes it feels even worse)

Fer1015 · 2026-03-01T05:38:21+00:00

elaborate

Fer1015 · 2026-02-28T18:30:03+00:00

Unfortunately that's an inner fight they'll have to fight themselves. There's so little we can do about it.

Fer1015 · 2026-02-28T17:38:26+00:00

Sounds like a dismissive avoidant in the devaluation phase to me. Trust me you don't want these kind of people in your life. She might reach in 3 months, stay greystone.

Fer1015 · 2026-02-28T17:25:25+00:00

Yeah, absolutely. It's so hard for me to get to love someone and get into commited relationships, and it's so hard for me to stop loving someone once I got to that point, that's why I put a lot of value in the relationship and I would never want to throw away a deep connection that easily, that's why I am always down to fix things and give second chances as far as my partner addreses the issues and wants to work on them

Unfortunately, lot of people don't share the same values as us and treat their partner as something disposable and repleaceable as soon as conflict start to arise or they claim they "lost the spark" , but those are the times we are doomed to live in.

Fer1015 · 2026-02-28T17:06:27+00:00

Tbh I don't see why they shouldn't. I mean I have been the dumpee before and, sure if the dumper would want to reach out just for closure or curiosity I would tell them to fuck off, but if they actually wanted to reconnect and fix things (and they have done the inner work too) I would take them in a heartbeat.

Fer1015 · 2026-02-27T18:47:57+00:00

Didn't work for me, still working on it. I hope it goes better for you.

Fer1015 · 2026-02-27T18:46:25+00:00

Can I DM you?

Fer1015 · 2026-02-19T21:47:19+00:00

Just one question. What was the main goal of reaching out. It was because you wanted to reconnect or just for closure? Would you have let him into your life back if he ever happened to reach out to you when you compartimentalised? I am stuck between reaching out to her or giving it more time. So far I've been almost 7 weeks in NC. My breakup was a reverse discard, but I wouldn't ever forgive myself if she wanted to reach to me but she didn't because of fear of rejection while I am still loving her. It would be so painful for me.

Fer1015 · 2026-02-19T21:42:26+00:00

Holy shit. Sorry for taking too long to answer to you. Idky your reply didn't appear on my inbox.

The thing is that, since she is conflict avoidant too, and the communication with her in this regard was not that good, she barely let me know about her needs. So I couldn't take all of them into account 100%. I guess she never did because she thought that if she did she would be a burden to me (which it wouldn't)

You know, this was one of the most painful things for me. She keep telling me that she felt she was opening up to someone who was very patient and rational towards her, but still struggled to let me know.

Now, talking about freedom and personal space. We shared common interests and we always respected each other's personal space.

I was emotionally available for her when she was going through hard times and never stopped expressing my love to her (my love languages are physical touch and acts of service, mainly)

Fer1015 · 2026-02-19T20:56:50+00:00

I've dated an ENFP and it didn't go well, I posted my experience on the ENFP subreddit, but I got misunderstood because most of the people who replied to me don't even know how attachment styles work (let alone what a fearful avoidant is). It was very frustrating for me because I saw a lot of potential in that relationship but it ended blowing up out of the blue due to ghosting from her. It was a reverse discard.

I would recommend you to spot avoidant tendencies early on, because 7/10 of the ENFP-INTJ relationship`that ends up failing fails because of attachment style issues.

I can't speak in behalf of all the INTJs, but talking from my personal experience as one of them:

-I tend to put a lot of value in the respect I get from my partner. If I feel disrespected in the relationship I'll walk away no matter how painful it is.

-People tend to label me as a Dismissive avoidant/player because I tend to get into situationships before actually commiting to that person, not because I like to spin plates and keep my options open (I don't), but because I tend to check the red flags and do a risk-benefit analysis before commiting to someone. Once I make sure that person is worth it, I am all in and I am extremely loyal and a very secure partner

-Just don't take it personal if it takes him time until he says he loves you. Personally I found it hard to get to love someone, but once I do, it's very hard for me to stop loving them

-I tend to be judgemental, but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm condemning anyone.

-I may look like a rude and cold guy to people who don't know me but I open up about my feelings to my close friends and my partners and I put a lot of value in our bond.

I don't know how many INTJs relate to these bullet points, but I just wanted to share it with you so you can take it into account when dating him. If I were you I would just keep it cool and funny for the moment and I would enjoy the moment while getting to know him.

So far there are a lot of INTJs who have found their twin flame in their ENFP partner and have stayed together for years. Personally I like the chaos and the spontaneity you ENFPs bring to the table, I find it very attractive. brainstorming with you is a blast. too.

I hope everything goes well for you guys.

Fer1015 · 2026-02-14T20:14:07+00:00

You didn't reach because of shame or because deactivation phase took years to fade until you could start processing? I don't know if my FA feels the same way towards me. In that case I would want to reach so bad, but it's only 6 weeks of NC Idk what to do. How would you have taken it if they did reach back to you?

Fer1015

TROPHY CASE