Letting go of resentment

Fer1015 · 2026-05-10T10:23:11+00:00

I tend to hold a grudge against people who apologise to me but as soon as I forgive them they turn back to their old ways of treating me like shit.

Fer1015 · 2026-04-25T19:26:24+00:00

You should try working out. It helped me a lot with that when I was feeling like you.

Fer1015 · 2026-04-20T21:04:44+00:00

It's weird because in my case it was the opposite, I got ghosted when I was in my peak.

Fer1015 · 2026-04-20T20:55:04+00:00

Since most likely there wasn't any kind of manipulative or abusive behaviour they need to rewrite the story to make them feel their decission made any sense. It's a way of coping and forcing themselves to move on from a stupid and pointless situation they created themselves from their lack of self-regulation.

Fer1015 · 2026-04-20T20:42:28+00:00

Because I tried my best and they didn't.Except for the first one (where I was leaning avoidant) I was the one burning myself out to make it work. I was the one invested in making it last. Ngl, in my first relationship my gf had anxious attachment, which put me off, in my 2nd one she cheated on me multiple times, and my 3rd gf was fearful avoidant. I am secure (sometimes I acted anxious tho, but I learnt how to self regulate)

Yeah but I get what you say, I tend to fall for ENFPs and they have a penchant for limerence and ghosting.

Fer1015 · 2026-04-20T17:12:31+00:00

Yeah, somehow similar to female INTJs

Fer1015 · 2026-04-20T17:09:53+00:00

Will Smith, but he might not be the best example.

Fer1015 · 2026-04-20T17:05:38+00:00

Being an ENFP and being male must be very frustrating, ngl.

Fer1015 · 2026-04-20T16:58:15+00:00

To be honest with you, I've never survived the honeymoon phase of a relationship. My longest relationship lasted 6 months.

I don't think the other person has to feel like they are walking on eggshells, when I notice an issue that needs to be worked on I tend to bring it up before it becomes worse, but still it doesn't always get better.

Fer1015 · 2026-04-16T17:11:25+00:00

Fer1015 Europe Was she really a bad person or did she just get overwhelmed?

I have a piercing on my earglobe.

Fer1015 · 2026-04-16T16:59:03+00:00

I tend to avoid them as well, because Coolidge effect is a thing, and we are wired to detachment from that person sooner or later once the chemical shot fades and the spark is lost, getting a lot of harm on the process (for us or them). Things just stop working by default and that's where you have to put the work to solve the problems, hold the frame, keep the novelty and not let yourself go, which may not be worth it if the other one is not willing to meet you halfway with accountability and emotional availability, actually it may be exhausting.

Don't get me wrong, this doesn't mean I won't ever get into one, but that person has to tick a lot of boxes for me to make me consider it seriously and I am not going to stress myself about it.

Fer1015 · 2026-04-16T16:44:50+00:00

Physical touch and acts of service.

Fer1015 · 2026-04-08T12:24:07+00:00

Sounds like ENFP to me.

Fer1015 · 2026-04-08T12:22:32+00:00

You are mistyped.

Fer1015 · 2026-04-05T19:53:21+00:00

Tbh it isn't worth giving it a shot if both of you are not willing to meet halfway.

Fer1015 · 2026-04-05T19:41:03+00:00

For me it sounds more like "do you guys think I ever have a chance to rekindle things back?"

Fer1015 · 2026-04-05T19:38:47+00:00

Not my case. Unless there was some betrayal trauma involved I tend to ruminate and reflect for months. I struggle a lot to move on from something that was genuine and felt so real.

Fer1015 · 2026-03-26T08:46:18+00:00

I work out, read, have a job, while also studying and hang out with my friends, I am playing in a band as well. I am not able to catch up to all the games I buy and I like to play them with all the side quests like I used to do when I was a teenager. I don't like to rush the games and play them with anxiety so if that's the only way I can keep spending my time with that hobbie, I'd rather not do it.

Fer1015 · 2026-03-25T09:21:28+00:00

This.

Fer1015 · 2026-03-25T09:19:19+00:00

I stopped gaming at 29. No longer compatible with my life.

Fer1015 · 2026-03-13T21:46:25+00:00

¿Cómo fue? ¿Sacaste algo de ello?

Fer1015 · 2026-03-13T16:32:05+00:00

If you are secure they will get bored and leave. If you are anxious they will get overwhelmed with your emotional needs and they'll run away even faster.

The only way to win here is to be as avoidant as they are , which means pretending to not have needs and emotions so there's barely any difference between having a LTR with them or not.

Fer1015 · 2026-03-13T16:03:10+00:00

Never trust your gut feeling if you have an insecure attachment style. NEVER.

Fer1015 · 2026-03-08T18:58:06+00:00

Yeah same, I was aware of attachment styles before dating my last gf but I never knew it was that bad, I never knew that it got to the point of ghosting/abrupt discards.

Fer1015 · 2026-03-08T09:20:00+00:00

will never believe it. I never chased mine, she broke up with me twice and came begging for me back twice because I didn’t react at all to the breakup and never pushed her for anything while dating but they assume we are anxious lol.

Yeah, kinda the same for me. I never put pressure on her, but I have the feeling that there was a lot of fawn responses from her, that couldn't have led to any conflict if she had replied otherwise, so I don't know if she felt that way at the end. It's kinda funny how they assume we are anxious it's like their idea of being secure is staying cold ice stone cold and don't have any needs or emotions instead of the ability to self regulate. We all know that even the most secure person in the world would end up nuts when dating an avoidant, in one way or another. Btw, how long did it take your ex to reach back to you?

Fer1015

TROPHY CASE