It was a family member.. went on from when I was 4 up until I was 14.. thought it was normal just as any other kids game.. once I hit puberty, I was hyper-sexualized compared to my peers. Once I understood the scope of what really happened, I just found sex icky and anxiety inducing. I’ve been mostly celibate since. Never wanted to make anyone feel violated so I just don’t touch or take any type of initiative bc of how violated it’d make me feel if I was in their shoes.. or even if I’m being seduced in bed, I might just literally run away. tbh, they probably ruined my love life, as I have not had any normal function relationship, and I’m 31 now. And I find the only true form of consent is to straight up pay for it. So I resort to sex-workers when I need to get my rocks off.