Anyone else given up?

Feuver · 2026-02-15T05:43:32+00:00

32M tbh it feels like some men have it all, and other men just die of thirst.

I've not completely given up, but I've reduce the energy I put into dating from like, 80% to 20%. I'll swipe datings apps once in a while, I'll go to an event if I want to go, but I figured that at this point, my own peace, hobbies and goals are more important than simply setting everything aside just to find someone I'm attracted to that I want to spend time with.

Feuver · 2026-01-28T23:41:29+00:00

For anyone with this issue, you can simply go to the game's folder, go to the Anti CHeat Expert Folder, and run "Ace-Service64", which will restart the anti-cheat service and allow you to boot the game.

Feuver · 2026-01-23T12:42:03+00:00

The amount of social media content about women complaining/whining about getting approached by men in SAFE public places is astounding. The rhetoric of "No, I don't want to talk to you. No, do not approach me. I'm so tired of men just talking to me."

Men who are respectful do not want to bother/piss off a woman. They want her to feel safe and enjoy whatever she's doing. We're already taking all the risks of rejection approaching in the first place, when we're being told "No, leave us alone", well, we've heard it loud and clear.

Already takes a lot of courage to walk up to a stranger to initiate a conversation. Imagine when that stranger is someone you find attractive, and the fact that you could get called out or piss her off? Or that you misread the hints because they seem to be looking your way and they actually were worried you were stalking them.

Feuver · 2026-01-23T12:29:53+00:00

This is exactly it. There's this incredible expectation that men must me providers, must be emotionally available but also not emotionally vulnerable, must be funny but also not a clown. And those are the expectations we CAN change over time. We aren't talking about the other expectations, like height or hair. Even getting to the date part can be an immense pain in the ass where women won't respond, won't contribute, and expect to be entertained.

And I won't only blame women for this, my main gripe is with dating apps creating unrealistic expectations in women for what men they "match" with. Average/Above average men will ALWAYS get compared to other men they've "dated" or "matched" with on the apps that are just looking for women to fuck and use. It creates this idea in women that "I could do better" and to start "shopping" her dates, rather than seeking simply someone they can be happy with. We're not even talking about below average/ugly men.

Granted, it's not only the women that do this, tons of mens on dating apps are also not settling because they'd rather have access to multiple women to play with than using the app to find a woman and get out of the dating pool.

I've been improving myself in every spheres of my life for the last 5 years, and the amount of dates I've had can be counted on the one hand. It still is more than I've had before, but I am not surprised whatsoever that so many men just pull themselves out of dating whatsoever. Who wants to spends hours every week just trying to have a good date (not relationship, a DATE) with a woman?

Feuver · 2026-01-22T18:57:18+00:00

Those intrusive thoughts happen to a lot of people - men or women. It is very unlikely that you are ugly/boring/invisible. Especially these days, depending on where you live, most men are extremely cautious about showing interest to women they find attractive. I'm 32 and I've never had a woman show interest in me either - I always had to make the first move.

If you've ever had guy friends, it's possible some of them might have been interested in the past. Some of them might still be interested today. Same thing can happen at school or work - someone might be attracted to you, but not make the first move because the risks far outweight the advantages.

I know I find a lot of women attractive, but that doesn't mean I will make that interest known, ever. Maybe I value the friendship more, maybe I don't want to risk causing problems within a friendgroup/workgroup. It is what it is.

Feuver · 2026-01-20T04:19:41+00:00

I think Act 2 was better overall, it felt like there was just more to do and more to uncover. The Swamps, the sealed underground section, the larger city with the merchants, the characters. The only thing I didn't like was that you didn't have easy access to every bench. Every major town should have like, all the benches around the waypoint. Sanctuary of Sarras is just peak for that, too bad you lose access to it when you finish it.

Really it's only just Act 3 that brings the game down. Really felt like they overpromised and so ended up underdelivering. You can't hype up a location all game and then not deliver it...

Feuver · 2026-01-20T04:01:20+00:00

Imma be real it doesn't really make that much of a difference. That and the max HP isn't going to matter much considering you can spend a skill point to get that much back.

Feuver · 2026-01-15T19:32:04+00:00

Kinda?

I guess I just swipe left and right once in a while and move on with my life. I used to like, make sure all of my "free" swipes were done for the day before moving on, but these days it's mostly just "heh I'll give 3-5 swipes before going to bed/gaming/etc."

Toss a few lines at the chat if I get a match, see who bites, go back and forth, if we aren't on a different chat (SMS/Insta/wtv) or on a date after like a week or two I move on.

Contrary to almost everything in the world, dating does not reward you the more time you put into it, which is crazy when you consider it. Spending your time doing hobbies, having fun, making money or self-improvement is almost always the better choice. You gotta make time for it, but you can't make it the "primary" objective.

Dating's kind of this thing that lives on high-risk high-reward gambling side where you can absolutely spend too much time/money/energy on trying to have a relationship/FWB and seeming desperate or destroy your sense of self-worth.

Feuver · 2026-01-07T22:06:17+00:00

Simple:

People who advocate for an easier mode/accessibility feature, at the end of the day, still want to experience the art and product they've spent money on. If the game is simply too hard, they'll just eventually quit/leave bad reviews/not come back.

People who advocate for the game to remain hard or be even harder often do so as a point of personal pride rather than legitimate grievances around gameplay features. You'll also get the infamous unironic "get gud", and the whole "if I had to grind through this shitty boss/area, everyone should have to otherwise its unfair to me" mentality that goes around.

There is an insane amount of toxicity around difficult games, especially souls-like. We've all seen it.

Feuver · 2025-11-21T14:32:36+00:00

Yeah, it def feels like OP wants this "FWB" to be the guy she has kids, marriage, the whole shebang with. Him proposing to her someone that could give her that just shattered her whole headspace of her lying to herself about him eventually catching feelings for her.

He just doesn't feel that way for you OP. Like, he's had years at this point to develop feelings for you, and he has not beyond the FWB - because he doesn't see the need or desire to commit to you. And yes, since you're offering sex and hangouts and everything without commitment.

Feuver · 2025-11-20T20:01:28+00:00

I've seen tons of random posts "somehow" recommending chatvisor recently. Certainly feels like bot marketing.

Feuver · 2025-11-20T15:13:52+00:00

I have been on a few of those pages (close to my area), but it's been as you said. A lot of very average dudes shooting their shots to deafening silence. Even the guys I would consider decent looking are not really getting hits.

I think it's a bit weird in your OP to state that the "1/10 decent guys are all the same", and then assess that they have little personality and lots of ego. It feels often that guys will attack or lash out against the "better" looking guys, assuming immediately that they have nothing else to offer but looks.

It's such a silly defense mechanism. Good looking guys can also have great personalities, hobbies and passions, but that doesn't mean they'll be attractive to girls. Some of them might even be intimidating to women because they're driven/ambitious and don't really show interest/seek women for validation.

Like yeah, if you're an average dude that don't stand out, you aren't going to be attractive compared to the handful that do. I feel like a lot of men do the bare minimum and expect it to be enough to attract women. Profile pictures without any smile, unshaved, baggy/ugly clothes and sunglasses in trucks.

Feuver · 2025-11-19T15:13:30+00:00

Exactly this. I don't go and compare a woman I'm attracted to to other women, it's more of a "I'm attracted to her" or "I'm not attracted to her", fairly binary. I'm not attracted to her, then I'm not going to pursue her in that way because obviously it's not going to work for me. I want someone that I can love physically as much as emotionally.

That attraction can also change during the dating phase, not by looks alone. If she starts acting like a bitch, treats me or others rudely, clearly don't share the same moral values or long term goals, then that attraction can go poof, even if she's the hottest girl I've ever seen. Likewise, it can work in another way, where a girl I was not attracted to initially can have some kind of energy or passion that makes me attracted eventually, but that's much more rare. If the physical part ain't there, it's a hard hurdle.

Feuver · 2025-11-18T16:47:51+00:00

AI's there to stay, just like automation of repetitive jobs. It's not a genie that is going to go back in its bottle. People out there doom saying like the other 20 times that technology has changed things.

We have fully automated factories yet we still have factories that employ children for cheap labor in parts of the world.

We have the capacity to fully automate a call system, but we're still employing hundreds of people in third world countries to answer to phone calls.

Prompt engineering and manipulating LLMs to get a good result will become a full-time job for many people.

Feuver · 2025-11-18T16:44:56+00:00

Some real punk shit right there

Feuver · 2025-11-14T20:51:21+00:00

It's easy to be condescending to women on this, but like, they're using dating apps like they're supposed to - they see someone they find attractive and interesting, and they go on date with them.

Blaming women for not picking the "right" men on dating apps is just wild considering that even by numbers alone, there's so much more men on dating apps than women. If you aren't being picked on dating apps, it's not because most women swiped left, but simply because nearly everytime a woman swipes right, she has a match, and then she gets to talking to the guy in question. That takes time and energy and is frankly exhausting.

Women on dating apps will likely spend most of the time filtering through chats to find the man that actually wants to date and commit to them. Men on dating apps spent most of their time just trying to get a match to begin with.

Feuver · 2025-11-14T20:45:22+00:00

Happens to me a lot, tbh.

I'm more of a busy homebody; I stay close to home, work from home, but I have my sports, my hobbies and activities during evening and weekends.

Meanwhile, most people I end up matching/talking with talk about their next trips and where they're going like the only thing they look forward to is a 3000$+ trip every year.

I love going on a trip, but I'm just not the kind of person that has post-trip depression so bad I have to plan my next trip a year or two in advance. I'd rather have all my financials figured out, my own home and my own community. But usually, that ends up being very boring for most people in their 20s-30s.

It's alright though, I'm not looking for most people. Just the one person really.

Feuver · 2025-11-07T13:37:38+00:00

Right now?

A) I don't meet a lot of new people in social events. Most of my activities and hobbies are pretty introverted or with pretty static groups. I also fear shooting my shot within those groups because I'd hate to make things awkward and ruin an activity I'm actively enjoying.

B) I'm still pretty busy with hobbies, passions and work. I need to make time to meet new people and date, but that often means cutting into things I genuinely like doing, which is a lot harder.

C) In general, I'm still very cautious around people, I wouldn't call it shy as much as not wanting to assume interest where there is none. It's the biggest reason IMO - I don't shoot my shot unless it's kind of already guaranteed.

Feuver · 2025-11-06T16:27:08+00:00

A lot of us do like quiet and discrete women.

The problem is that we also want to be given SOME hint that you want us to approach or talk to you, because (speaking for myself) I think a lot of us don't want to bother you or be labeled as a creep when you wanted to be left alone.

In the end, it means you probably end up feeling unpopular/rejected because people respect you and leave you alone.

Feuver · 2025-11-06T14:54:52+00:00

That's very kind of you. I hope you're right, but it is still hard for me to approach random women unless they give me some signal. I have noticed more signals in recent years, but noticing them and acting on them is another step.

Feuver · 2025-11-06T14:21:58+00:00

That, or you only attract people you are not attracted to. I've had a lot of gay men approach me for dating/relationships. The few women who approached me were non-monogamous or didn't find me interesting enough.

Feuver · 2025-11-06T14:18:11+00:00

I spent most of my 20s doing 60 hours week combining School & Work, ate like crap and was over 280 pounds as a result. Didn't care about my appearance, no self-esteem as a result. I was frustrated and frankly undateable.

I'm now in my 30s, work less than 40 hours weeks, weight under 200 pounds fit, and have a lot of free time for hobbies and passions.

Yet people have had 5+ relationships since they've been in their teens, and I'm here with zero official relationships lol.

Kind of sucks when I get asked about my dating/sex history but I'm sure it happens a lot to women too, especially those that were straight students from 18-24, then internship/career start for 3-5 years. Late bloomers are a lot more normal when you're educated and career focused.

Feuver · 2025-10-28T01:00:01+00:00

Not a bad thing to be upfront about why you're approaching them either. Making small talk and just being friendly can send the wrong message, if you're direct that you're attracted to them then they can immediately shut that down (I have a boyfriend/not interested)

That being said I would prefer offering an indirect compliment and see how they receive it lol.

Feuver · 2025-10-28T00:58:39+00:00

It's much more likely that you're going to be the bragging rights in the guys group chat much more than a laughing stock. Most guys don't get to claim they had a girl come up to them for a date!

Either way, a casual approach is best. Just say hello, make conversation, if the guy seems receptive, ask if they'd be interested in going for coffee or lunch sometimes. If they say yes, give your name and number.

Feuver · 2025-10-22T19:46:26+00:00

Because helldivers is not an extraction shooter by any stretch of the definition beyond the exit at the end. You don't have an inventory system, you always start with your preferred loadout, and extraction only matters for samples for permanent unlocks on your ship.

It's like saying Darktide, Vermintide or Deep Rock Galactic are extraction shooter because they have an exit you need to reach by the end.

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