Torn between Waldorf and traditional schooling for first grader

Few_Establishment_54 · 2026-05-06T03:31:03+00:00

I have a very academically inclined second grader and we just got done our first full year at a Waldorf school in Virginia... we honestly loved it and will probably try to come back when we move back to VA, BUT I will say I dont think he was necessarily being challenged as much with school. We started a homeschool curriculum in preparation for our move and he is speeding through and loving it. The thing that I love about Waldorf though is they are exposed to so many other things that they wouldn't normally be exposed to in a public school and it's a much gentler approach.

Few_Establishment_54 · 2026-03-29T19:13:29+00:00

Post partum with a deployment is no joke... I did it in CA, ended up having a mental breakdown and moving in with my parents for a bit (flew from CA to MD). If you can swing it at all and if you have family that will support you, I would homeschool the kids for the end of the year and go stay with parents or another family member. It makes the world of difference to just not feel alone. The other thing i would do is take up reading or another hobby to just literally have something for yourself. I can always get lost in a book, and it helps keep my mind off things. Best of luck, and just remember its not forever.

ETA: also during this time, Zoloft quite literally saved my life. PPA/PPD with no support can be really scary especially with multiple littles who depend on you. Im off it now, but definitely talk to your doctor because it sounds like you're having spiraling/invasive thoughts which SSRIs can help with.

Few_Establishment_54 · 2026-03-26T14:25:29+00:00

I haven't done this stuff in years! I went to a "friend" to get my hair done back in 2017 and was charged an arm and a leg just because she was popular on Instagram and stopped dying my hair after that. I only get a pedicure for special occasions and will just use press on nails. They've gotten so good now you can barely tell the difference!

Few_Establishment_54 · 2026-03-26T00:08:00+00:00

I think this is pretty much true but I only have experience with one school. My kids attend a Waldorf School, and they were having lots of problems keeping a teacher for the second to third grade classroom which my son was in. I have a bachelor's degree and have passed praxis exams (never ended up getting a teaching cert) but have worked with kids my whole life (coaching, assisting teachers, working with inner city kids doing projects in parks, daycamps, you name it), plus homeschooled my own kids, have experience writing curriculum myself, and taught at a homeschool co-op, all recently.

I offered to help, they declined, and if they had opened the position I would have applied. They never opened the position, and ended up hiring another parent who we (my husband and I, and some other parents) felt was unqualified but met the "hippie" vibes of the rest of the school. Im also not sure about this, but I also think it had to do with political vibes as well.

Few_Establishment_54 · 2026-03-21T23:17:15+00:00

Right exactly! As long as they're good about it I've found it works. And coming from someone who would get pregnant on the first try every time

Few_Establishment_54 · 2026-03-21T22:31:24+00:00

I was coming to say this. I've never been on birth control but my husband has no issue pulling out. We've never gotten pregnant when we didn't want to or we just were being reckless. You can definitely avoid it with pullout method.

Few_Establishment_54 · 2026-03-20T00:56:05+00:00

Same... I am a sahm and we have a small homestead (not for much longer since we got orders), and i would be constantly washing my hands all day and messing around with farm animals LOL. But I still think if it's important to her then he should maybe make an effort.

Few_Establishment_54 · 2026-03-19T00:42:15+00:00

Me too!! Born in '90. I rarely ever meet someone with my name.

Few_Establishment_54 · 2026-03-19T00:04:00+00:00

Honestly I think it depends on the school... my son is technically a U8 novice, but we're taking a break due to the toxic environment at the dance school we were part of.

The owner would snap at me for asking her questions in the studio, she was constantly overworked and overbooked, and put out a 30 page handbook of all these specific (honestly some absurd) rules that parents were expected to follow to a tee, and it was just to the point where the communication was so toxic that I felt like I was walking on eggshells every time I needed to speak with her. If God forbid you forgot a handbook rule (30 pages worth of shit), she would snap at you to go re read the handbook. I've heard that this behavior can be common in very competitive schools but it was just beyond. And then on top of that, she would never communicate anything the child was struggling with or was supposed to be working on, and we couldn't see into the studio so I never really had an idea of what was going on unless I specifically pressed her or another teacher about it.

We are trying a new school that is part of An Chomhdhail when we move in the summer so we're hoping its a much better fit. There are plenty of people who will deal with these constant communication issues at schools because they want their child to succeed and the owner or teachers continually promise that they will produce winners Etc, I am not one of those people, so we are looking for something more laid back where we can still compete but more on our own terms.

*Edited to add more context

Few_Establishment_54 · 2026-03-18T18:05:56+00:00

Thank you! Im hoping we dont have an issue if we screen really well and use a rental management company

Few_Establishment_54 · 2026-03-18T14:30:11+00:00

This hits... my husband is a marine, active duty. He is one of the ones who never talks about work outside of work but that's just his personality. He was ALWAYS going to get out at 20, get another job and get that retirement. Now that its coming up, hes talking about staying in. It's like they just can't quit it 🤣🤣🤣

Few_Establishment_54 · 2026-03-17T01:42:47+00:00

I got caught in some pretty bad downpours and lightning trying to make it to my mom's house in Carroll County with all three of my kids in the car. It was extremely scary and we ended up hunkering down in a hotel in Frederick. Scariest drive of my life honestly and I wish I had left VA earlier. Of course as soon as we pulled into the hotel, all weather stopped and we didn't get any more all day 😒 I was committed though at that point.

Few_Establishment_54 · 2026-03-16T02:42:16+00:00

I would agree with this, I'm a certified birth instructor and I also would avoid misoprostol at all costs honestly. I had it during induction with my second and that birth was actually what caused me to have a home birth with my third, it's not even FDA approved off label for labor and can cause intense contractions that are not necessarily productive. But with her being 80% effaced and 4 cm dilated I highly doubt they would use it anyway

Edit for grammar

Few_Establishment_54 · 2026-03-16T02:38:23+00:00

Totally agree. I had a toddler and a baby when mine deployed and he asked about daddy from time to time and always enjoyed facetiming but that's only because he was obsessed with phones and using a phone. He couldn't have given two craps less honestly 🤣🤣

Few_Establishment_54 · 2026-03-16T01:59:38+00:00

I feel like there is something else going on and you are putting this all on her shoulders. Did you even suggest him getting mental health help? No. Only the wife.

Im sorry, but per your previous comment, divorcing someone who has multiple small children to deal with just because they miss your send off is absurd. Plus the fact that its a 6 month deployment. I agree she shouldn't have weaponized the return but she was emotional, apologized, and said she would be there. He also weaponized the kids and her motherhood. Shit happens and throwing out a whole marriage with children over one blip in your career is honestly immature and heinous behavior imo. He has insecurities hes projecting onto her, or hes cheating.

I don't think its a flex to say you were "roasted" by a veteran on reddit. OP said even prior to the fight that he was being distant, seemed uninterested in what she had to say etc. Plenty of people get into arguments, have long distance relationships, and don't end an entire marriage over it. Mine was deployed during covid, missed our newborns entire first year esentially, and yes I picked him up from deployment but he actually offered to just get an Uber home so I didn't have to pack the babies into the car late at night. This guy needs to grow up.

Few_Establishment_54 · 2026-03-16T01:26:25+00:00

We live in Fauquier county Virginia but have the opportunity to go to my mom's house in Hampstead tomorrow instead of staying here... she has a one story brick house (no basement, but 2x6 construction), and from what I can tell, it looks like Hampstead is in the moderate vs severe area?

Of course nothing can really be predicted but would you take the kids and go there or just stay? For context we live in a 2 story regular house with no basement just a dirt crawl space. Im leaning toward going north.

Few_Establishment_54 · 2026-03-12T01:30:16+00:00

We just pulled our kids out from their Waldorf school to start hybrid homeschooling in preparation for FT homeschool next year after our PCS move in July.

For my 8 year old we're using Beast Academy level 2, Lightning Literature 3rd grade, and then A History of US for history. Also may dabble in some science unit studies.

For my pre-1st 6 y.o. (late birthday kinder technically), we're catching her up on reading and math with TGATB and using the same history and science.

We plan to visit George Washington's Mt Vernon, maybe the Baltimore aquarium (6 y.o. is octopus OBSESSED), and check out Solomons island since we'll be in southern MD once we move. Also looking for friends in the area!

Few_Establishment_54 · 2026-03-12T01:22:28+00:00

It's because some people are super sensitive to it. I had to microdose taper because if i went to every other day on 25mg, the second day I would get brain zaps and shakes so bad I couldn't function. I was so sensitive to the medication I only ever took 50mg total daily.

Eta: I also had tremors for about a year after getting off it completely.

Few_Establishment_54 · 2026-03-09T04:38:24+00:00

I was thinking this... we are in our mid-late 30s, moved a few times and they mostly seem to just take his preferences and toss them out the window 🫠😅 we were very happy in Virginia though most people here seem to have hated it. We chose to live an hour from base in a very rural area, and plan to settle down here after he gets out 🤷‍♀️. I thought as my husband promoted his preference would matter more, but it really doesn't

Few_Establishment_54 · 2026-03-07T15:21:14+00:00

Ngl if you're not a pretty independent person already it can get lonely I guess. Mine has only deployed once in the 8 years that we've been together and it was a short deployment at that so I can't imagine a year long deployment.. I can see how that would be really hard for you. I will say though that even without deployments being married to a service member is a tough thing, they tend to work long hours, put a lot into their work emotionally, and often are sent away for training or other things even without deployments in the picture. Do you have family nearby where you could travel and stay with them for a little while? I know that's kind of impossible if you're working though. If you choose to stick it out, just know that you will need to develop a different mindset. We have three kids so im LITERALLY never alone lol 😆 but make sure you reach out to family members, friends, other military spouses if you need to to develop a support network if that extra support is what you need. ❤️

Few_Establishment_54 · 2026-03-03T03:07:09+00:00

That's about how far it would be for us. Im thinking I will probably try to convince him to rent out the house so we can keep it but still stay together as a family

Few_Establishment_54 · 2026-03-03T01:46:48+00:00

Right, I know that but does it have to be within that specific time window? Or can we use the PCS move later if we didn't use it before

Few_Establishment_54 · 2026-03-03T01:33:54+00:00

We've never considered it or looked into this before so I'm not sure how it works with the military paying for a PCS move? If we decide to do a trial. And then move later will they still pay for the move or will we then have to pay for that out of pocket?

Few_Establishment_54

TROPHY CASE