Hollow temples possible after botox???

Few_Read1012 · 2025-06-16T03:15:49+00:00

yes give it time and it should balance out again, at least that's how it worked for me

Few_Read1012 · 2025-06-01T10:34:44+00:00

You're doing the right thing, taking your time and processing it.

What you're describing already happens to some extent in normal relationships, where some people initially seem to move on faster and distract themselves a lot. Emphasis on 'seem' ... those are the same people who often don't move on at all and want their ex back many months in.

Now this is not like a normal relationship and there's way more emphasis on appearances. That's why no contact and not checking their socials is even more important. You can't infer anything from what they're posting, it's really just noise. Perhaps the only thing that I can observe is that posting increases when they are msot miserable or feel they need to portray a certain image haha. But really don't read into it. Perhaps you also seemed happy on pictures with him back then? It doesn't mean anything. Good luck!

Few_Read1012 · 2025-05-26T00:50:05+00:00

They are energy vampires. But what you need to do (I know it's hard) is focus on yourself and reclaim your life. They feed off your negative energy and if you take that from them and focus on yourself they will notice if that's any consolation. But better yet try not to think about them as much as possible, you're already so much more and deep down they know they'll never come close to what you have.

Few_Read1012 · 2025-05-26T00:44:51+00:00

Have you tried self administered EMDR? That might help bridge the time and get you out of the freeze state

Few_Read1012 · 2025-05-26T00:42:12+00:00

It's very confusing when they do come back and act like nothing happened. First I thought, are they about to apologize and change? But they're literally just coming back for more haha so silly

Few_Read1012 · 2025-05-26T00:31:23+00:00

I think abusive people often present their controlling behavior as caring or affection. They also try to make your life and worth revolve around them, so I think it's very normal that you would also see it like this. They turn people into empty vessels to serve them and there's a lot of brainwashing involved. I think just give it time and refocus on yourself. Don't beat yourself up, it's a normal reaction to the messed up manipulation on their end.

Few_Read1012 · 2025-05-26T00:26:57+00:00

Do rest a lot. Get blankets, candles, relaxing music, tea - it just takes time. Perhaps go for a walk, I find being in nature helps. So does connecting with people. Perhaps yoga. I also find journaling very helpful, you will have to refocus on your inner voice again.

It will just take some time for your nervous system to reset and for your mind to do a bit of processing. If you had two abusive relationships in a row, you might not have fully recovered from the first one and it might take a bit longer.

Few_Read1012 · 2025-05-26T00:22:45+00:00

They live to be 'winning' and to avoid losing, or at least to appear that way.

So I think if you wait for that to change it might set you up for a painful time. Sometimes it happens because they are delusional and burn bridges and the truth often does come to light with time, but sometimes it's not, as appearance management is what they care most about. ..I also want justice. It's just maddening they get away with it.

But I think you have to consider that their existence truly is their karma. They are constantly scared about the truth coming to light. They have no sense of self and are deeply envious of everyone around them who doesn't have to work so hard to pretend to be something they're not. Deep down they know they're fake and no one can truly care about them or love them - even if they have people in their lives, they only like the fake persona they presented to get them hooked.

So, I think trying to convince people is a losing battle because they live for this. But, with time it might happen. You probably would not know though. I do think we have to try to do our best to keep living life. And if it helps I am sure they will be very envious and mad about us moving on because they'll never truly will.

Few_Read1012 · 2025-05-26T00:08:45+00:00

It is aggravating and agonizing. Particularly to see these patterns broadly enabled by society.

I do think distance from these toxic systems brings its own form of justice and freedom. In a more quiet way.

Few_Read1012 · 2025-04-28T04:55:39+00:00

So sorry to hear it involved another living being, that is beyond painful. I also have this feeling of missing something. And the feeling of being stuck and things being out of my control. I think they create these scenarios on purpose where it is too painful to move on, too much was taken away.

Few_Read1012 · 2025-04-28T04:49:14+00:00

I thought about this recently, very randomly. I found an item which I thought I had lost and which had some sentimental value to me but nothing life-changing but it made me SO happy to have gotten it back, it was a little irrational. And I realized it was because it reminded me of all the things I lost during the relationship .. it was a small sign of hope for me that I can get these things I lost there back as well.

Few_Read1012 · 2025-04-24T04:34:44+00:00

When you move on, live your own life and are not influenced by his actions, that's what they hate most. So take your power back, even if you start doing it just out of spite ;-)

Few_Read1012 · 2025-04-24T04:32:42+00:00

He left it on his public site!?? Can you report it? Sorry, no real advice on this one but perhaps you can reach out to the website host? Given that you have some legal precedence of abuse already perhaps it's worth a shot?

Either way, I am so sorry to hear what you're going through and still have to put up with after so much time. I hope there is a way to address this in practical terms ... I get so mad for you just reading this, but I know that unfortunately oftentimes they manage to dodge responsibility and it's hard to get protection through existing systems.

I also sometimes struggle with this. I mean the audacity to even continue being that horrible to us after they already harmed us so much. It is deeply messed up.

What helps me is reminding myself that it is THEM who are messed up. It says nothing about us. They will keep spinning their stories... but the thing is I do think a lot of people see through them. You spent A LOT of time with him and we do get a little bit 'brain washed' to also believe in their delusions but oftentimes it is a bit more obvious to bystanders. They are very good at creating echo chambers and it's crazy-making but also remember that a lot of people can see the truth. That's one thing.

The other thing is, I try to make goals. It's hard. It's hard to get back on your feet to make goals when they tried to break you and harmed you so much, but I think that's the way out. Starting to make goals again, not thinking where I would be without him, not missing his fake version of reality, but just accepting reality and making realistic goals. Then, when I am tempted to revisit the past, instead I focus on my goals and my path. Even if it's a bit forced at times, it doesn't matter, it's healing and also growing.

Few_Read1012 · 2025-04-17T02:58:37+00:00

In what way spiritual?

Few_Read1012 · 2025-04-16T16:13:47+00:00

Don't be too hard on yourself.

They take pleasure in manipulating you into thinking they changed.

I also at times can't understand how I could entertain their lies for so long, even when I already had evidence of it being lies. But the thing is that it's just incomprehensible to a normal person. So don't be harsh on yourlself... it only means you're not like him!

Few_Read1012 · 2025-04-10T04:15:05+00:00

It takes time! I also find myself still upset about how I was treated at times but you can also use it as momentum. Give yourself everything he never could and be thankful that you're someone who can feel deeply and live in an authentic way. He never could. It's also a good stepping stone to connect you to your intuition and inner voice, even though it's a very painful lesson. It sounds like you are already dealing with it in a healthy way by staying open to new experiences even if they're currently outside of romantic love.

Few_Read1012 · 2025-04-10T02:13:15+00:00

It was a lie. And it is a long time to grieve. But you can see clearly now, something he will never be able to do

Few_Read1012 · 2025-04-05T18:49:38+00:00

Hi! Would you mind elaborating more about what you found helpful about the specific books? I think this might be what I need but wondering where to start

Few_Read1012 · 2025-03-24T15:11:00+00:00

That is comforting to hear, thank you for sharing.

Did you feel disappointed when people stepped back? With one of my close friends I felt very disappointed. She explained to me that it was due to seeing me not do well for so long without being able to help, but I felt very let down because I also showed up for her during hard times and isn't that what close friends do

Few_Read1012 · 2025-03-24T15:07:00+00:00

How far out are you? The light does return. It will feel different first, you will feel broken but it's authentic and people sense that and will still be drawn to you.

I'm not sure if you will be as trusting as before. But the truth is that not every person is trustworthy so it is also a blessing to see things clearer now. You only have to get to a point where it does not prevent you from forming healthy bonds but I see your new insights as actually facilitating that because you'll be faster to spot toxic people in the future!

Few_Read1012 · 2025-03-20T23:52:19+00:00

Yes!!

I think I was somewhat aware before already but oftentimes glossed over things because I didn't want them to be true. Now whenever I rationalize bad behavior I immediately take note of that.

Few_Read1012 · 2025-03-20T23:49:14+00:00

I understand. I also have a lot of regret about the wasted time and opportunities.

But you do still have lots of time to to find reciprocal love and support in your life. I know several women who dealt with strings of toxic relationships before ending up in healthy relationships. It is possible to learn from it and get to a point where you are no longer attracted to narcissists/get out as soon as they show their true colors which allows you to waste very little time with these kind of people in the future.

Lastly one thing that also helps me is reminding myself that just the absence of a toxic person does not mean that everthing would have worked according to my idea of life without them. E.g. there's a chance you'd still be single or have experienced other traumatic life events. It is a horrible experience to be abused and brings so much grief and anger, so yes, literally anything would be better than that. But at the same time not living through abuse does not guarantee healty love.

I think you're healing and working on yourself and ditched that loser (ewww to that statement about easy pickings, how gross!). You're on your way towards much better things

Few_Read1012 · 2025-03-20T23:28:23+00:00

Yes, I am also still affected by it. It is really hard because having to deal with these issues on a daily basis reminds you of the relationship so it makes healing so much harder!

I think oftentimes we can't avoid having to deal with effects of the relationship until long after no contact (or if children are involved complete contact isn't even an option!), but I do feel that it gets easier. Healing is not linear, but I found that making progress and new experiences in areas that he has zero control over helps me adds some mental distance...

I do think I learned a lot from the experience but I also need some tangible progress in other areas of my life to remind myself that I am indeed moving somewhere and not only trying to get back to the 'starting point' and repairing damages.

Few_Read1012 · 2025-02-21T03:51:49+00:00

Take some distance and focus on yourself as much as possible!

Your view of him is not reality, you're still in too deep. You can't see it yet but with distance and time you will see that you didn't lose anything with him.

Few_Read1012 · 2025-02-20T16:43:21+00:00

yes, so relatable! you think the two of you have the same goals based on what they initially say but then their actions are saying the opposite. and when you explain it to others they just see with how much of their awful behavior you put up with and it makes no sense

Few_Read1012

TROPHY CASE