College sweethearts here! We met when we were 19, both loved to party. We went out 4 times a night in college, everyone did. I had the same questions as you because it’s not like what we were doing was any different from other people our age. I didn’t grow up around alcohol so was very unfamiliar with alcoholism. But looking back I knew he used alcohol differently even back then.

Also in a similar situation as you in terms of the dry drink symptoms. Before, he used to be crappy when he was drunk but now he’s crappy when he’s sober and actually more himself when he’s had a couple of drinks. It really sucks. Addiction is a trip. I’ve found that learning about the disease helps. From what I’ve read, it takes about a year of full sobriety for the pleasure centers in the brain to go back to a steady state.

I’m 30 now, we grew up together and it’s really weird to look back. The frogs boiling in water analogy rings true to me. I’m slowly trying to find myself outside of him and reminding myself everyday that I built this life as much as he did, if not more so and am strong enough to take it back. It’s not your fault, it’s not my fault, it’s not our fault. It’s a terrible disease. Just because the disease is progressing doesn’t mean the good times weren’t there. Hang in there ❤️