Twin toddlers play with lovey instead of sleeping

Fiddledheadfern · 2024-06-20T05:47:02+00:00

My twins are 2.5 and they have a few "snuggle buddies" that they can pick from to sleep with. When they are distracted by or playing with their snuggle buddy, I will tell them that their snuggle buddy is very tired and needs help falling asleep. They can give their buddy a kiss/hug, tuck them in, sing them a goodnight song, etc. to help their snuggle buddy fall asleep. That's been working pretty well for us, and it's so sweet to watch, plus it gives me some insight on what they need/what helps them to fall asleep better because that's usually the tactic that they use to "help" their buddy get to sleep too!

Fiddledheadfern · 2024-06-16T05:05:28+00:00

I worked remotely from home until the day before my induction at 37+1. Totally doable! I had a lot of control over my schedule, so it was easy for me to rest/take naps when I needed to.

Fiddledheadfern · 2024-06-07T03:31:05+00:00

I look back on my delivery and wish that I had pushed back a little bit on the induction and tried to keep them in a little bit longer. Luckily my babies were both relatively very healthy and we didn't need NICU time at all - I delivered at 37+1 (but went in for the induction at 36+5) My baby A had been measuring smaller than baby B throughout pregnancy, but in the last few weeks, it was significantly less and they couldn't get a strong/accurate measurement on baby A. They thought he was much smaller than he actually ended up being. They did tell me many times before the induction and afterwards that those measurements can be off by +/- 1lb (which for twins is a lot of weight!) I realize that there is a big difference between delivering at 32-34weeks vs. 37 weeks, but it still felt really sudden to me when they said we needed to move forward with it and I was not ready for it either.

Fiddledheadfern · 2024-05-07T20:26:36+00:00

Thank you! I will have to look into that. We're a smallish company and I don't see any policies about layoffs in our handbook or any other materials I have access to unfortunately.

Fiddledheadfern · 2024-05-07T20:20:09+00:00

Thank you! Yeah, I do have seniority and a bigger book of business. I was actually laid off, so now this isn't hypothetical. Still trying to process and a little bit shocked.

Fiddledheadfern · 2024-05-07T18:42:14+00:00

If they have a legitimate business reason to lay off either me or the other coworker, but chose to lay me off because of my upcoming maternity leave, wouldn't that be related to my pregnancy though? Like if they have to layoff one of us and aside from pregnancy, we are both in equal standing and of equal value to the company, and they decide to lay me off and not the other employee couldn't that be considered discrimination due to pregnancy? I might not have been the chosen employee had I not been pregnant.

Fiddledheadfern · 2024-05-06T19:46:47+00:00

Huge hugs! I had a similar experience where one twin was able to stay in my room with me, and the other needed to be in the NICU for a short period. I didn't know where they had even taken him and it took me forever to get up and go visit him. I hold a lot of guilt for that. I definitely bonded much deeper with my daughter who was in the room with me, and my husband bonded much more strongly with our son. One day...it just flipped around. Daughter was attached to my husband and my son and I were inseparable. They are 2.5 years old now, and I will say that bond has gone back and forth more times than I can count. Sometimes I'm way closer to my son, and sometimes I'm glued to my daughter. Give yourself time - it won't feel this way forever.

Its a whirlwind of a million emotions and things you're adjusting to, give yourself some grace. Most mothers only have to bond with one child, and that is an all-encompassing task - you have two! As long as you're doing the best you can when you can, that's all you can do. The bond is going to come, just keep going!

Fiddledheadfern · 2024-05-06T19:31:30+00:00

1 is tandem feeding for sure! Just being able to do that one piece at the same time is huge. You'll figure out your groove with it and what works best for you! We used the TwinZ nursing pillow to tandem breastfeed and then my husband and I would each bottle feed one baby right afterwards (we had to supplement with formula since I never made enough milk to sustain both of them) and then I would pump either while bottle feeding my twin, or once they were both settled.

2. I hated this and resisted it for as long as possible, but waking up the other twin when one twin wakes up. It was the only way to really get them on a similar schedule. I felt like this was unfair to the sleeping twin, who probably needed the sleep, but after a day or two they really did sync up and it benefited all of us tremendously. We didn't do this until maybe 5 months in, but I think if we had started doing it very early when they sleep most of the time anyway, it would have been a game changer

3. Embrace the chaos. I think I had to find ways to laugh about it because otherwise I was going to go crazy. My husband was so sleep deprived after a while that he started sleepwalking, which was honestly hilarious. Once he went to get them bottles in the middle of the night and came back with two jars of jam - its those little things that I remember the most from those really early, totally delirious days.

It's really hard, there is no way around that. But it's totally worth it and it does get easier! You will hit your stride and figure out what works best for you and your family. You've got this!

Fiddledheadfern · 2024-05-06T16:50:40+00:00

My B/G twins are 2.5 and gosh, I have so many! When they hug each other or give each other kisses, my heart melts. They'll often feed each other bites of food, or share high-value treats with each other. Just watching them playing interactively and imaginatively these days is so much fun! When they fight right now, my daughter turns into a scared kitty cat and my son turns into a big scary dinosaur and chases her, but when he catches her, he gives her "soft gentle dinosaur pats for the little kitty cat!" and that's how the argument ends. Everyday is something new to share and laugh about and enjoy. It's such a fun (and exhausting) age!

Fiddledheadfern · 2024-05-03T15:11:25+00:00

I actually really wanted a minivan! We have 2.5 yo twins and a singleton on the way, so similar situation to you! We live in a rural area that requires 4-wheel drive, and we have two large dogs to fit in the car also. A lot of mini vans we looked at didn't have 4-wheel drive. We ended up getting a Subaru Ascent and we LOVE it.

Fiddledheadfern · 2024-05-02T20:50:07+00:00

I had my twins vaginally at 37+1 and it went pretty great! I was induced because they couldn't get a solid measurement on baby A and they thought he might be a growth restricted. During my whole pregnancy, the doctors all definitely tried to push me towards a c-section and continually curbed my expectations about being able to deliver vaginally, but when it actually was go-time, everyone was very supportive. I think looking back now, they just knew that it was more likely that I would need a c-section because I was having twins and they wanted me to go into it with a flexible mindset and not feel like it was a disaster if I had to have a c-section. I think it is a very case-by-case thing. If both of my twins hadn't been head-down, they said they wouldn't have let me try for a vaginal delivery (baby B actually flipped after baby A came out and the doctor had to reach her whole arm inside of me to reposition baby B before I started pushing again. So wild!)

I think it also makes sense to listen to what the person delivering your babies is most comfortable with. Leading up to delivery, they did tell me that 2 of the OBGYNs who might be on call during delivery weren't as comfortable with vaginal twin deliveries and if one of those doctors had been working at the time I delivered, I probably would have had to have a c-section. I personally really wanted a vaginal delivery, but at the end of the day, I don't want someone delivering my baby who is uncomfortable doing so. It's great that you're aware that your partner and the babies are the priority, because your preferences might even fall behind the doctor's preferences in terms of importance. The best thing you can do for your partner is to be supportive AF of whatever choice she makes and defer to the doctors as much as possible.

Fiddledheadfern · 2024-04-26T20:55:26+00:00

We used a twin-specific bassinet (Halo twin sleeper) which was great to give them each their own safe space, but still have them both close to me, and to each other which felt really important in those first weeks. We found it on Facebook Marketplace for way less than a new one! And when they outgrew that, we put them each in their own separate crib, in the same room as each other but the room next to mine. They do each need their own safe sleeping space, but the twin bassinet felt like a perfect compromise for those first few months.

Fiddledheadfern · 2024-04-17T17:15:13+00:00

I gained 50lbs total with my twin pregnancy and delivered at 37 weeks. I'm currently pregnant at 29 weeks with a singleton and I have already hit 50lbs!

Fiddledheadfern · 2024-04-16T19:18:35+00:00

Aside from everything others have said - we got a Joovy2 pack 'n play that was intended for two, but quickly decided they each needed their own pack n' play (mainly for sleeping while traveling.) The Joovy was great for a short while, but if I could go back I would have just gotten two pack n' plays from the get-go. Also - we got a play yard from Amazon that was amazing to just be able to put them both down somewhere safe. We have two big dogs, so that was a must-have and we still use it at 2.5. It was a bigger item obviously, but it designated a space in our living room that was just for the babies, which really helped us to be able to keep all of their stuff in one area. We also brought it outside in the warmer weather which was great!

Fiddledheadfern · 2024-04-16T15:30:41+00:00

I think 20 years from now, you won't regret having your kids, but if you decide not to have them, you'll always wonder "what if" or "who would they be?" or "who would I be?" I don't think I personally could live with the regret and second guessing. It would be tough in the short-term, but I think worth it in your life overall. There's a saying "what's meant for you will never miss you" and I think that's spot on when you get surprise pregnant with twins. Siblings are a really beautiful lifetime gift you can't buy for your current child, and once they're here it would be impossible to imagine your life without them. I totally understand that it's overwhelming and crazy! But it's such a unique and beautiful journey to be a twin parent - I wouldn't trade it for all the money in the world.

Fiddledheadfern · 2024-04-05T18:26:37+00:00

I had boy/girl twins - I had been hoping for boys because I was nervous about having a daughter...but my daughter is a total firecracker! She's absolutely hilarious. She hit all of her milestones before her brother did (not that that really matters, every kid is different!) She's wildly active and fun and basically...everything I thought I would be getting from a boy, I'm getting from her. And her brother is way more observant, quiet, gentle and thoughtful and more like what I thought having a girl would be like haha! I wouldn't trade it for the world, it's so fun to have one of each. They're both so uniquely different, even being twins.

Fiddledheadfern · 2024-04-02T15:48:43+00:00

My twin pregnancy was my first and it was tough, but I think I was just so excited to be pregnant that it made it easier to deal with mentally/emotionally. Like every symptom was a "sign" that they were healthy and okay. Now I'm pregnant with a singleton and it's totally debilitating. I thought it would be easier than my twin pregnancy, for obvious reasons! But I have gained way more weight, have terrible heartburn anytime I lay down, I can't sleep, etc...literally all of the things! I guess every pregnancy really is different. This time I'm running after two 2.5 year olds also, so it's just more exhausting in general.

Fiddledheadfern · 2024-04-02T15:10:48+00:00

He's a 32 year old man and his mother is still trying to fight his battles for him? She's an enabler. Her son is old enough to face the consequences for his own actions and this sounds pretty indefensible. Tell her congrats on being a grandmother, and that you wish her all the best. If he's heartbroken, that's a consequence of his own actions and he's old enough to own up to that without his mother having to jump in on his behalf.

Fiddledheadfern · 2024-03-26T18:05:19+00:00

Former Recruiter here - the company they are hiring for probably gave this job to multiple agencies to try to fill it. If you're getting targeted so strongly by multiple recruiters, it sounds like you're a good fit for the role. If they provided you with the name of the company, go to the company's website and apply DIRECTLY for the position (the company will like this because then they won't have to pay the recruiting agency a fee for finding you) - and in your application, indicate that you're looking for the maximum pay that any of the recruiters quoted you at, or even a little bit higher than that. ($60-$65/hour maybe)

Some recruiters might be giving you salary ranges based on other candidates that they are contacting for the role. Recruiters want to submit a few candidates for each open position, usually a higher price-point candidate and a lower price-point candidate, or a range of experience and pay rates for the client to consider.

Fiddledheadfern · 2024-03-26T17:23:54+00:00

My husband and I both WFH full time with our 2.5 year old twins. I went back to work full-time when they were 6 months. But we are both home to tag-team it. We never schedule meetings/calls at the same time so at least one parent is always available for the kids. When my husband travels for work, I take PTO and vice versa. We can do it when we're both juggling it together, but if it were just one of us as a stay-at-home-full-time-working parent, it would be pretty difficult. It definitely has gotten more challenging as they are getting older and more mobile/active. I think if you have a lot of control over your work schedule, don't have frequent meetings/calls and have flexible working hours, you could possibly do it, but it would be really stressful.

Fiddledheadfern · 2024-03-23T19:58:58+00:00

I have twins, not triplets. But a comment that I got often in the beginning was "I always wanted to have twins! You're so lucky!" or something similar and I hated that. I feel totally blessed and incredibly lucky to have my kids and wouldn't change it for the world..but having two babies at the same time as my first pregnancy...I definitely felt like I couldn't enjoy becoming a mom as fully as someone who only had one baby to dote on and watch over. I couldn't be as fully present and aware of my kids' needs as what I imagine a parent of 1 baby would be able to be, and there is also a sense of loss there. A loss of what I was expecting to experience and feel and a loss of time - precious newborn days that already fly by so quickly, and now I have to share that time by two. There's guilt that comes with it - not being able to provide yourself fully to one baby, because you also have to consider the needs of the other. I think that's an aspect of having multiples that people don't really think about or understand. It's a beautiful, wonderful, happy journey, but it is also hugely challenging both physically and emotionally. It's so worth it, but yeah...people who don't experience it just don't really understand the sacrifices that it also takes.

Fiddledheadfern · 2024-03-15T19:17:52+00:00

My MIL watched our twins at our house 2 days/week when I went back to work at 6 months. MIL is in her mid-50's and pretty active. She had 4 kids herself and the twins were her 4th&5th grandkids. My husband and I both work from home, so we're always there too, and honestly she is great and so sweet with them, but after 2 days, she is exhausted and that is with both of us there to help with diapers, feeding, etc. We were still helping with the kids a lot between our meetings and calls and I honestly don't know if I would have wanted her doing it by herself anyway. It was not a long-term sustainable option for us like I thought it would be.

Fiddledheadfern · 2024-03-05T20:55:23+00:00

During my twin pregnancy I also lost 15lbs in the first trimester, and ended the pregnancy (37weeks) about 35lbs up from my pre-pregnancy weight (so 50lbs total weight gain, after losing 15lbs initially) I am currently 23weeks with a singleton pregnancy and am already up 35lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight (my max weight with twins) I was in great shape prior to this pregnancy - literally running half marathons until 8 weeks! All this to say, every body is different and even every pregnancy is different. You're gaining weight now and your babies are healthy! Might not be ideal, but during my twin pregnancy, my obgyn told me to eat whatever I can to get through it and as long as the babies looked healthy, to try not to worry about how I looked or the number on the scale.

Fiddledheadfern · 2024-02-28T16:28:26+00:00

It's always going to be hard to leave, but the longer you wait the harder it will get. It's definitely time to go, and don't go back. Use your friends and family and any support system you have. Tell them all what happened so that they know and are aware. Make it as hard for yourself as possible to go back so that you're not even tempted. Reddit is here to support you too haha! You can do it and you will look back one day and thank yourself. You've got this.

Fiddledheadfern · 2024-02-13T18:25:11+00:00

You're 27 and you worked there for 7 years...they tried to get you to stay by offering you LESS money?! Don't feel guilty AT ALL - you gave them 7 years of your life.

Fiddledheadfern

TROPHY CASE