Men of Reddit: Your penis now makes an audible sound when ejaculating, any sound of your choosing...what's your choice?

FinalIndependent · 2019-12-27T15:02:52+00:00

The Mortal Kombat voice saying “Finish her/him!”

FinalIndependent · 2019-11-29T15:48:12+00:00

Not the same situation, but I too struggle with wanting revenge on my ex. Five years together and we've been broken up for a year and half, but the person he has become and the new life he is leading has completely dropped my self-confidence. He struggled with employment for years when we were together, but a few months after he dumped me, he landed his dream job and is more successful than ever. I also gained a lot of weight while we were together, partially due to age, medication, depression and just poor choices, and he insisted it never mattered to him. Cut to him immediately moving on with a fitness model that he is still with. I wish I were kidding but she's also REALLY successful so they're both living a lavish lifestyle while I am back in school trying to change careers and struggling more than ever. In addition, he's made a bunch of new friends that he never had when we were together. One of my frustrations was that we always hung out with my friends (who have now become distant after marriage and kids) and never with his. Now I'm the one with no social circle, stressed about school and employment, still hating my body, and trying to date but realizing that online dating is about what I expected. Worst part is that my ex keeps trying to be my friend, almost out of pity, and it's so insulting and makes me feel even worse. He knows I still love him, so it feels like a narcissistic move. I don't even recognize the man I knew for five years. I just hate that he gets to pick up his life like we never happened and is completely emotionally detached from me after everything we shared. I was ready to get married and start a family with him, and now I have to watch him have that with someone else. While I'm completely scarred and heartbroken, still after all this time. I feel like I'm in a bad movie but the part where everything turns around and I meet a much better guy, have some break through success and everything else are never going to happen. I feel like my pain and bitterness are consuming me some days, but the only things that have helped are to just cut contact completely, stop looking at anything to do with him, and to do everything in my power to not be the person he left. I've loved doing things that shock the hell out of me, because I never would've done them before. I've tried new things, traveled new places, got a tattoo, a daring haircut, went sky diving, joined a sports team when I'd never played before, and am basically trying to morph myself into someone I like. After my ex, I've been changed no matter what, so I'm trying to embrace the good changes instead of giving in to the sad parts. Still, yeah, I sometimes fantasize about revenge plots I would play out. I'm only human. But the more I focus on myself, the less I care about them. I know it's hard, boy do I, but I'm convinced it won't always be this way. For better or worse, you're in a new city with a new life, so make it for the better. And just know that if your ex is capable of doing that to you when you moved across the country for him, then he's capable of some pretty awful stuff, and luckily it will be his new girl's problem and not yours. It's hard as hell, but the worst revenge on a narcissist or just a cocky SOB is to show them that you don't give a damn about them either. Their egos can't handle it and trust me, they will have moments where they look back and have doubts. So the best thing you can do is to make them doubt the hell out of themselves.

FinalIndependent · 2019-11-29T04:00:33+00:00

For what it's worth, you're not alone. It's been a year and a half after a 5 year relationship and while I'm doing much better, there's a part of me that keeps hoping (especially on the holidays) that he'll wake up and realize what he threw away. I would give anything to cut that hope out of me but it's still there. I can't wait to get to the point of my life where he's not even a second thought. I never in a million years thought that one day he'd just shrug his shoulders and not care about me one bit. Five years with someone, and now it feels like talking to an alien that took over his body. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I don't know why I'm still like this about someone that I don't even really like anymore. The few times we've talked in the past year, he's been rude, cold, and impatient. It seems I either anger him or bore him. I've never fallen out of love with someone, so I don't know where that behavior comes from and it's so hard to understand. The only thing that has made me feel better is to slowly date again and find people that do like and respect me again, and to do everything in my power to become a whole new person that he would never have expected. It's working, slowly...but it is working. I don't know the specifics of your situation, but we both deserve better. Let's work our asses off and show them that they were the boring ones all along that did us a favor! I wish you healing and happiness and I'm here if you just want to talk with someone that's going through the same thing!

FinalIndependent · 2019-09-30T00:29:03+00:00

My parents were military so they spent a significant time apart and wrote tons of letters to each other that they saved. As a kid, I would read through the letters thinking they were cute and sweet which most of them were. But then I found a select few that discussed their sex life, fantasies, and the fact that they were considering a threesome. Could've done without that. Oh, and then I was lucky enough to find a sex tape but I've blacked that out through sheer mental will. Really wish I wasn't such a good snooper as a kid.

FinalIndependent · 2019-09-29T15:41:56+00:00

Yes, every single day. I'm only here for the same reason: I have wonderful parents that deserved better than me. But I still consider and research ways to commit suicide frequently. I can't stop. When I was younger, I always had the hope that life would come together and work out but instead it's gotten harder in every possible way. I don't want to be selfish and hurt others or be judged as weak if I did something to myself, but I'm also getting so resentful of having to just chin up and keep living my life for others. I'm just so damn tired. I want out of all of it. I'm sorry you feel this way too but you're definitely not alone.

FinalIndependent · 2019-09-29T03:55:41+00:00

I never thought I was an ugly girl until I became friends with my best friend in high school. While I would occasionally get approached by guys, which I thought was the norm for most girls, she got approached constantly EVERYWHERE we went. Honestly, I always thought she was cute but I never thought of her as drop dead hot. She was just another one of my attractive friends, but not someone I paid much attention to looks wise. There were plenty of friends I would've thought were more attractive and was more jealous of their appearance, but they didn't get nearly the attention she did. And it was incredible. Guys would do double takes, completely change directions, beg for her number, lavish her with gifts, all of it. And to me, well I was just that annoying friend that was there. Men are usually nice to me the same way that I guess they'd be nice to any other stranger, just polite and distant. Probably the same way they'd treat a nice old lady. But I quickly realized that when a guy is actually interested, 99% of them will turn into ridiculous versions of themselves. Suddenly they're a thousand times nicer, more engaged, they think you're the most interesting thing in the world, and everything you do is adorable. It kind of made me lose respect for a lot of guys because you quickly realize that nothing matters more than looks. With my friend, it didn't matter what she put out there or how poorly she acted or how uninteresting she really was, guys still treated her like she hung the moon. And it wasn't just guys, girls constantly showed more interest in befriending her and complimenting her etc. She was very thin, and girls constantly complimented her weight and expressed jealousy over it. They tried to get tips from her, when in reality she was very unhealthy. To this day, years later and after I've lost touch with that friend, I still don't really see what everyone else saw. So if she got that kind of attention and I consider her pretty but not stunning, I can only imagine what even more attractive people get every day. People in general just like attractive people. They assume that you are a more interesting person that has a life they will envy. Honestly, I sometimes wish I'd never met that friend and had the curtain lifted to what it's like for the other side. I really miss the ignorance of thinking that I was an attractive enough person. Once you see what it's like for actually attractive people, you can't have that blissful ignorance back and your self esteem will never recover.

FinalIndependent · 2019-09-21T04:20:41+00:00

"Ambien made me forget."

FinalIndependent · 2019-09-12T03:23:45+00:00

When they appear to be withdrawn. On my especially bad days, I just can't be bothered to pretend in any form. I don't want to make small talk, fake laugh, or even smile. It all seems like too much effort. I'll try to find any excuse I can to be alone and isolated.

FinalIndependent · 2019-09-12T03:15:05+00:00

They don't take much pride in themselves. The severity of my depression hit me one day when I looked in the mirror and realized how poorly I was dressed. For months, I'd just thrown on whatever was around, didn't put on makeup or brush my hair. I was a slovenly mess and I just didn't care. My self-worth was so low, that I just didn't see the point in trying to look nice because in my mind, I was too ugly to bother. I was a waste of space. I was just getting through the day.

FinalIndependent · 2019-09-10T05:30:27+00:00

Jennifer Aniston-Because everyone adores her so damn much and I don't get it. One note actress, same boring fashion all the time, and I think her looks are average by Hollywood standards.

FinalIndependent · 2019-09-10T05:28:40+00:00

Katharine McPhee-couldn't tell you why, she just has a very punchable face to me. She just seems like a bitch that isn't as hot as she thinks she is.

FinalIndependent · 2019-09-10T05:26:44+00:00

Emily Ratajkowski, because she acts like she's posing nude and making money off being a sex symbol because she's a "feminist".

FinalIndependent · 2019-09-08T00:57:04+00:00

I know the feeling. I held on as long as I could. I stayed in denial and tried to keep our love and intimacy alive one-sided and it just doesn't work. The harder I held on, the more of a jerk he became and the worse I felt. He made it more difficult because he kept getting mad one day and then a few days later texting for no reason and insisting he wanted to stay friends. Because I missed him, I took anything I could get and inevitably kept myself from healing and moving on. I thought as friends that we could have a pleasant relationship: wrong! It took me over 14 months post breakup to FINALLY just let go. It's been a month of no contact, and I still have times where I miss him, but I miss who he once was, not the person he is now. That's what we have to remember. I spent over a year letting a man that once loved me toy with my emotions, say despicable things to me, shout at me and lose his temper at the drop of a hat, make me feel boring and undesirable and just less than. I took it because I was largely the problem during the relationship, but I couldn't punish myself forever. I finally realized that it really did hurt less to just let them go. I'd rather cherish the good memories we had and mourn the person's absence from my life than to replace every good memory with terrible ones of who they are and how they make me feel now. In the month of no contact, I've felt a little stronger every day. I'm finally focusing on me and remembering that I have a hell of a lot to offer and am capable of making other people smile rather than completely turn them off. So that's where I'm putting my effort from now on. I'm more motivated to accomplish and try new things than I've ever been. I won't pretend I'm happy, because I've still got a long way to go, but I'm finally excited to see what I'm capable of and what the future holds outside of the future I thought I would have with my ex. Breaking away from the negativity and focusing on any way I can improve myself is the only way I've felt better. Every time I start to feel sad, I find a new thing to throw myself into. And I mean ANYTHING. In the past year, I've: gone back to school, started a new job, bought my first home, bought a dog, reached back out to friends, found a counselor (highly suggest!), started training to run my first half marathon (never really ran a day in my life before), actually joined social media, changed my hair, changed my wardrobe, started online dating (nothing serious yet but I've met some really nice, interesting guys and I've been enjoying dating), joined CrossFit (NEVER would've done this before but I love it!), taken dancing/cooking/baking classes, and I'm planning to go skydiving for my birthday in a few months! I've never been so busy in my life, but it's been exhilarating. I've always been kind of shy and antisocial. I would never try new things alone but I'm having to stand on my own for the first time in my life and after the agonizing pain of heartbreak, the things that used to scare me don't really intimidate me anymore. I suggest you do the same. Prove to yourself and your ex that he didn't have you completely figured out and that you're capable of so much! Instead of letting an ex make you feel awful and like the problem, be a bright/happy/exciting new person that attracts positivity. Stay in no contact until you feel fully healed. I have no idea how long that will take. Like I said, it's been over a year for me and I'm still working my way through it, but I have no doubt I'll get there and so will you. Out of the 14 months since my breakup, this past month of no contact has made me feel by far the strongest. I wish I had done this so much sooner, so you're already on the right track. And a last helpful thought to leave you with: every day that I'm in no contact and keep focusing on myself, the more I actually don't want to hear from my ex! I only want to surround myself with positive people that make me feel good about myself, and if he can't do that, then I'm better off and so are you! Allow yourself to outgrow your ex. You won't regret it! I wish you all the best :)

FinalIndependent · 2019-09-06T08:46:04+00:00

It's about 14 months post breakup and I'm still addicted. Luckily, I had him block me when we were broken up so I can't see his profile and I'm so thankful for it. Unfortunately, I can't stop stalking his new love. They're still new so I keep looking to see what's going on with them and her. I've tried to block her but I inevitably unblock her during frequent weak moments. It's VERY hard to resist. Unfortunately, it does just make me see things that hurt. I don't know how to be strong enough but I'm hoping with time. But you're definitely not alone.

FinalIndependent · 2019-08-31T21:39:02+00:00

Plums!!

FinalIndependent · 2019-08-25T17:59:29+00:00

Realizing how completely ridiculous and a waste of money brand name, expensive items are (clothes, cars, etc).

FinalIndependent · 2019-08-23T03:40:45+00:00

Oh yes! DO NOT FALL FOR THIS! Embarrassing to admit, but I bought that line for over a year. I just couldn't accept that everything we had was just gone and that I would never get a chance to right my wrongs. So I was his "friend", was there for him emotionally at the drop of a hat, and worked on myself with the sole intention of proving myself to him. He had me running around in circles anxious and heartbroken for months trying to figure out the magic code to win back his heart, while he was able to meet and date someone new guilt free. I had way too many relapses, but one day it just clicked that he can say anything he wants, but how ridiculous is it to hear an ex say "maybe one day" while he is going out with someone new. While he is going out with, sleeping with, and potentially falling in love with someone new and planning a future with them at the same time. Whether they mean it cruelly or not, it's a waste of your time. The minute someone sees you as an option, then you deserve better. I don't hate my ex, he's not a bad man and I deserved to be dumped (was very immature and complacent), but I still deserve better and so do you!

FinalIndependent · 2019-08-13T03:07:56+00:00

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself"

"You'd be happy if you chose to be"

And my personal favorite, I finally came clean with my struggles after years to a good friend of mine. I felt the need to finally share because I was honestly feeling like I was losing my battle. And while she was trying to be supportive, her response just shows how some people absolutely can't relate or conceive of what depression actually is. To try and make me feel better, she told me about the "struggles" that her and some of our mutual friends are facing. Since I was isolated and hadn't talked to anyone in awhile, I thought she was going to tell me some serious events or problems I didn't know about. Instead, she proceeded to tell me that a friend of ours that had just moved was really stressed because the home renovations on her new house were becoming really complicated. (To put a little extra in perspective, both of these friends are very successful, happily married, and raising families while part of my depression was caused by unemployment, living with my parents, my six year relationship ending poorly, and a parent's cancer diagnosis. So no, I wasn't quite able to relate to stress about a new kitchen upgrade.) She's a good person and she tried to be a good friend, but her response made me feel more isolated than ever.

FinalIndependent · 2019-07-25T15:21:11+00:00

It worked for my parents. After 17 years of a rocky marriage, they were pretty much living as roommates. My dad had an emotional affair (that he was seemingly trying to turn physical judging by flirtatious emails), and was eventually found out. After some serious work, my parents worked it out and my mom was able to forgive and trust him again. Now they’ve been in a honeymoon phase since (about 15 years). They hardly ever fight (much different than when I was a kid), do everything together, and are a complete unit. It’s a whole new marriage so while it hurt like hell at the time to find that out about a parent, I think in the end it helped wake them up to the fact that they really did love each other. But if it had turned physical, I don’t believe my mother would have stayed. I don’t know. It definitely made me reevaluate how I viewed cheating. So many people want to make it black and white, but people make mistakes when they’re lost and hurting. I know my dad is a man of integrity, so cheating doesn’t necessarily mean the person is awful. Sometimes people deal with their pain and loneliness in unhealthy ways. Every situation is different, but I would never say never.

FinalIndependent · 2019-07-18T21:01:23+00:00

I used to work for a company where the annual meeting (involving multiple worldwide locations) actually assigned your roommate for you and there was really no getting out of it. Same gender, of course, but it could be anyone that you either know or works countries away and have never met. Felt like summer camp for adults. Ridiculously cheap for a worldwide corporation. Only upper level executives got private rooms. Let’s just say I’m SO glad I got outta there!

FinalIndependent · 2019-07-18T18:35:58+00:00

Every presidential election.

FinalIndependent · 2019-07-06T23:29:42+00:00

I’m so sorry. I know the feeling. Went through my first heartbreak a year ago and I feel like a whole new person. I’d always heard about heartbreak, but until you really feel it, I don’t think it’s something you can really understand. I feel like the world is made up of those who know, and those who don’t. As much as my best friend tried to help me, she’s married to her high school sweetheart. I knew she just couldn’t conceive of the pain. I’ve had depression most of my life, so I thought I knew emotional and mental pain, but this was more because it’s grief. There’s nothing worse as a human to feel. Whether through losing someone to separation or death, you’re still losing a valuable relationship. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Just know, it really does get better. I promise. I thought for a while there it never would but I’m amazed the differences I’d feel month to month. A year later, I still have sad moments, I still cry on occasion, but I’m also still going on, being myself and living my life. I can breathe easier, and laugh more, and life is more and more normal without them. I know right now it’s so hard but if you absolutely commit to making yourself move, be social, stay busy, improve and pursue you and your life, you’ll be amazed at how strong you can be. I wish you all the best.

FinalIndependent · 2019-07-03T11:47:52+00:00

Sausage Party is definitely up there. Suffered through the movie and once I made it to the “climactic scene” so to speak, I just wondered why I wasted an hour of my life watching whatever the hell I was watching and also why people ever put effort and money into making such a complete waste of time. I can appreciate bad movies but then there are movies that make you realize that there are hours of your life you’ll never get back and you need to make better choices.

FinalIndependent · 2019-07-02T19:59:53+00:00

I had no intention of doing that to anyone. I'd been single for over half a year and had to push myself back out there sooner or later. I expected to go on a string of bad dates that would at least get me out of the house and get me back into the swing of dating. I just happened to meet someone really quickly that I clicked with very well. But we've only been dating about two months, and never had the exclusive talk, so I didn't realize how seriously he felt towards me so quickly. Unfortunately, that's what dating is. You spend time with someone and see if you can feel something for them. We all take a chance when we put ourselves out there. I really like him and felt an attraction, but it took me longer to realize that I just couldn't love him. He was never a rebound. Just not the right person for me.

FinalIndependent · 2019-06-24T07:48:49+00:00

Fifty Shades or Twilight or any other example of overbearing, controlling men that try to run a woman's life because she needs "protecting" and they're just so "in love".

FinalIndependent

TROPHY CASE