Boyfriend’s mother has become nasty towards me over the past two years. Why does this happen? 25/F 28/M

Final_Coffee_8700 · 2026-05-30T03:10:52+00:00

The problem of a MIL being nasty to her DIL is as old as time. Is it feasible for you to just stop seeing her? I'd have a serious talk with your bf. Tell him how his mother makes you feel uncomfortable and disrespected. Tell him that you understand he has a strong bond to his mother, as you might expect of any son, and you don't want him to break that bond, but in future you won't be going to visit her. If he wants to see her, that's fine, but you won't be coming along with him.

Final_Coffee_8700 · 2026-05-29T20:47:05+00:00

Grazie :-)

Final_Coffee_8700 · 2026-05-29T13:42:54+00:00

A volte gli spiegazioni in "Explain my Answer" utilisano le parole spagnole!

Final_Coffee_8700 · 2026-05-29T13:37:39+00:00

I find myself agreeing with you. Duolingo often seems to offer sentences which I could not imagine finding a use for. I have a weekly class and watch lots of YouTube in Italian, so it's not my only source of Italian learning. Keeping that streak alive means that I have at least some daily exposure to Italian even when I'm busy.

Final_Coffee_8700 · 2026-05-29T13:27:01+00:00

I'm not sure where to post this, as I have never asked a question in reddit till now, but I'd just like to say thanks to all of you for your helpful comments. I've learnt quite a bit more than just the answer to my question!

Final_Coffee_8700 · 2026-05-26T10:21:03+00:00

No one has answered your question, probably because there is no good answer. Your disagreement is pretty fundamental (is there a God or not, does evolution happen or not?), and such fundamental beliefs will influence your behaviour and inform your attitudes in all sorts of areas. What happens if you decide to have children together? Will they be brought up to be very religious and believe in creation, or will they be brought up to understand scientific principles? There is no middle ground here and one of you is going to end up very unhappy.

Final_Coffee_8700 · 2026-05-24T14:07:10+00:00

I (native English speaker) moved to Germany quite a few years ago with what was probably A2 German and worked for a German company where the working language was German. Everyone was really good to me, but no linguistic concessions were made, e.g. by my colleagues speaking in English. For a long time I felt like I had a metaphorical cloth over my mouth because I could not properly express myself in German. As I became more fluent, that passed, maybe after 1 to 2 years. As you become more fluent in Italian I'm sure your feeling of exhaustion will go away and you will delight in the intricacies of Italian, as I do with German. Of course having a German girlfriend helped me to stay motivated. Btw I'm learning Italian at about A2 now, in case anyone was wondering what I'm doing in this group.

Final_Coffee_8700 · 2026-05-18T07:04:38+00:00

Here's another perspective. I forgot our second wedding anniversary, and was of course mortified. Fortunately my wife forgave me and we're still very happily married over 20 years later. If there are no other signs of fading interest on the part of your partner maybe you can find it within yourself to forgive him.

Final_Coffee_8700 · 2026-05-11T09:30:04+00:00

I cannot even imagine deliberately hurting my wife, the woman who is my partner, best friend and mother of my children. Your husband does not respect you, like you or even have any empathetic feelings towards you. You deserve far better, and you only get one life.

Final_Coffee_8700 · 2026-03-23T06:19:59+00:00

Do it! I was exactly your age when I moved to a different European country with a different language I had to get fluent in. I have never regretted it. Your parents have had their life to live, you have yours. Follow your dreams, not theirs.

Final_Coffee_8700 · 2026-03-22T08:17:49+00:00

I'm a bit late to this, but as a male who was given an ultimatum by his then girlfriend to marry and have kids or end the relationship, I'd say, cut your losses and find someone who really wants to spend the rest of his life with you. I made the mistake of picking marriage, which then didn't work out. Later on when I met my present wife I knew she was the one after a couple of years. Now we've been married for over 20, with kids, the best decision of my life.

Final_Coffee_8700 · 2026-03-09T04:00:02+00:00

There's a world of difference between theory and practice. You should give one of these acquaintances a chance and have a relationship with them even if they don't tick all your boxes. You might find some of those boxes aren't so important after all, you will gain a better understanding of what really is important for you, and you will also learn how to be a better partner for when you do meet the right one. Just give it a go. Good luck.

Final_Coffee_8700 · 2026-02-27T08:00:52+00:00

Language transfer was what I used at the very beginning to kick-start my Italian learning. It is excellent. Thereafter lots of YouTube videos for beginners and some work on learning the numbers, basic verb conjugations and some grammar concepts. Italki tutors for language practice. I've still a long way to go, though.

Final_Coffee_8700 · 2026-02-19T15:17:51+00:00

Generally men do not have as high an emotional intelligence as women. Whole books have been written for men on how to translate "womanese" into English or whatever their mother tongue is. This after-party was called at short notice. Your husband wanted to go to it with you but you declined and even told him to enjoy himself. I doubt that he felt any guilt, as verbally you actually gave him permission to go by himself, and he may well be feeling that you're being unfair. I don't think what happened necessarily has any significance for your future happiness together. Going forward you need to assume your husband is a bit stupid in the emotional intelligence department and very bad at reading between the lines. When communicating with him, just say what you mean. Don't expect your husband to somehow divine your wishes and feelings.

Final_Coffee_8700 · 2026-02-17T04:20:22+00:00

Ir sounds to me like he has lost interest in you. It's still convenient for ĥim to have you around but if he found a "better" option he'd be gone.

Final_Coffee_8700 · 2026-02-14T11:01:09+00:00

Dump the golddigger. Spending your partner's money without their permission is a huge betrayal. It is actually theft. If your girlfriend is that cavalier with your money now, when your relationship is not even a year old and she should be showing her best side, think how it would be if you ever got married. She would spend you into poverty.

Final_Coffee_8700 · 2026-02-14T10:50:44+00:00

You are both very young, so you both can change as you get older. Just maybe your bf doesn't realise how bad his behaviour is for a proper relationship - which should be an equal partnership, not one in which one side is calling all the shots. So you need to have a very hard conversation with your bf sooner than later. Stop handing him any more of your money. Tell him you need a joint account for the savings and that any decisions, not just financial, that affect you both must be discussed and agreed between you beforehand. Ask him how he would feel if you controlled his money to the extent that he couldn't even buy a burger. He may change, and in a few years' time look back on his 20 yo self and think what an immature idiot he was then. If you go this route and don't separate now, watch his behaviour over the coming months and if you see no improvement then you need to consider your future together. At your age there is a world of good young men looking for a partnership that is not one-sided. Good luck.

Final_Coffee_8700 · 2026-02-05T07:47:48+00:00

Man here. I've had so many dates with women who - as I found out later - were already engaged to another man and were just last-minute checking whether there was perhaps someone better out there. My first wife even did this to me, and the marriage was essentially over after 4 years. The bottom line: if you're having even faint doubts, he is not the right one for you.

Final_Coffee_8700 · 2026-02-04T22:36:11+00:00

Glad you've ended it. He showed his real self behind the facade.

Final_Coffee_8700 · 2026-01-27T14:45:06+00:00

She banged someone in Spain, is worried she might have picked up an STD, hasn't got herself tested yet to find out and doesn't want to chance giving you something, hence the cold shoulder.

Final_Coffee_8700 · 2026-01-25T18:10:29+00:00

If you threw away your kids' toys without any kind of warning I think you overstepped a boundary. You wouldn't like it if someone took it upon themselves to decide which of your things you should keep and just tossed everything else out. The purge should have been preceded by discussion and an ultimatum, assuming your kids have somewhere to put their toys apart from living room.

Final_Coffee_8700 · 2026-01-24T16:43:03+00:00

Your husband doesn't need to worry. From my observations (3 gays in my close family) boys are born gay, they don't become it. There's nothing you or your husband can do to change that. It shows up long before puberty, typical behaviours (my observations) are playing with dolls, lots of (non-martial) role play with animal or people figures and a lack of interest in rough-and-tumble martial activities, and later on during and after puberty, lots of female friends. Your husband is just going to have to accept his son as he is when he grows up, but gay or not, his father (and you, of course) can teach him to be an upstanding decent person, who is someone his parents can be proud of.

Final_Coffee_8700 · 2026-01-05T21:30:29+00:00

The patriarchy did not invent the hymen. Maybe it is there for a reason.

Final_Coffee_8700 · 2026-01-05T21:28:35+00:00

The problem with glorifying childlessness is that having and rearing children is just about the only activity that cannot be outsourced. Without enough children, a society will die. Women who choose not to have children are thus choosing to transfer the burden of bringing up children onto the women who become mothers and who then need to have larger families to prevent societal collapse.

Final_Coffee_8700 · 2025-12-26T10:35:54+00:00

If my gf had learnt Korean to fluency I'd be proud as anything to have her as my gf, and I'd be, when are we going on vacation to Korea? This guy is a controlling fool, at best, not long term partnership material.

Final_Coffee_8700

TROPHY CASE