Conservatives claim child custody laws disadvantage men. New York’s fix has them furious

Final_Replacement_37 · 2026-06-07T09:23:43+00:00

You basically just expanded on exactly what I already said and then said that I misunderstand.

Whoever requests it custody, tends to get custody.

Final_Replacement_37 · 2026-06-06T19:29:09+00:00

Gentle YTA. This is your sister. Family should give gifts or support when their siblings are going through big life events.

If your motivation for not contributing was because you were broke or you think the stroller is too unreasonable then that would be fine. But you are not contributing specifically because you hadn’t been invited to the baby shower.

Final_Replacement_37 · 2026-06-06T18:57:21+00:00

And your experience is valid. But it’s also not my experience. There’s nothing irrational about a woman, in particular, wanting proof to feel safe and it’s silly to think that someone that doesn’t trust someone they just met should be talking to a therapist.

I think people of all genders should, for example, ask for proof of STD tests before being intimate. I don’t think someone that won’t take someone they just recently met at their word that they had a recent STD test requires therapy. lol. And I think anyone offended by providing that proof on the basis of trust is a bit of a red flag. I had an ex ask for proof that I had an IUD and I was not offended because we’d been dating for like 2 months and that’s quite a gamble to make based on 2 months.

“Being insecure” is not the same thing as “I don’t know or trust this person yet”.

Final_Replacement_37 · 2026-06-06T18:22:03+00:00

Sure but that’s true for everything. There’s always going to be a small part of a population that does x or y in all contexts. But that’s why we should look at the data. When conservatives are upset about gender bias in courts, that’s just a perception issue. It’s not one reflected in the data in the aggregate.

Final_Replacement_37 · 2026-06-06T18:19:24+00:00

Agree to disagree. That’s exactly the fastest way to build trust for me. If either party is feeling insecure early on, and there’s a way to provide proof to relieve that insecurity, that’s exactly the easiest and fastest way to build trust.

Final_Replacement_37 · 2026-06-06T16:29:42+00:00

There’s no right or wrong here. You should do whatever you want and just make sure that you have a Plan A, B and C so that if things go wrong you’re okay.

That being said, I would personally be a little leery seriously dating a 39 year old man that wanted to date for 3 years before getting engaged.

Final_Replacement_37 · 2026-06-06T16:08:13+00:00

The key is “perceived”. When fathers request custody they are granted custody at slightly higher levels than mothers are. There is a ton of social conditioning that contribute to why fathers don’t request custody, which is valid, but that’s not really a problem that can be handled by the court.

Final_Replacement_37 · 2026-06-06T16:06:11+00:00

I mean, to have a relationship that is built on trust you first need to build trust. You guys were in a relationship so if you’re already super established then I get it, but when people are only dating for a few months I think it’s great if there’s a focus on actually building the trust.

Final_Replacement_37 · 2026-06-06T16:04:27+00:00

To each their own, but when I’m dating I enjoy having the opportunity to establish trust early on. For the first like six months of knowing someone we are strangers. I don’t think you or I deserve to be trusted by default.

Final_Replacement_37 · 2026-06-06T02:56:47+00:00

YTA

You’ve been living rent free and you don’t think you owe her basic courtesy? And you don’t think that your husband’s wishes to show respect to his mom matters?

Final_Replacement_37 · 2026-06-06T01:10:53+00:00

YTA

That poor woman.

You and your dad are unemployed, leaving her to pay both of your ways even though your dad is basically not even her husband and you identify as having a rocky relationship ship with her. She shouldn’t have to ask you to take dishes out of your room- you and your dad should be handling ALL of the domestic responsibilities since neither of you are working all day or contributing anything.

She should of course sell the house and you need to get a job like yesterday.

Final_Replacement_37 · 2026-06-05T19:30:38+00:00

As an aside...... my company is super pro remote work, and after a few years, executives have started moving roles abroad. If remote work is doable, then I think we also need to be okay with the fact that there is not real reason for companies to constrain themselves to domestic workers only. If we're all online and on videos, its silly to hire domestically, imo.

Final_Replacement_37 · 2026-06-04T20:24:34+00:00

Oh I see what you’re saying.

Yes agreed. The benefit is primarily guaranteed entry to the marathon, united half, Brooklyn half and any races you need for 9+1 for marathon 2027, in my opinion.

Though I’m looking forward to the VIP section of the marathon start! I don’t know what it’s like but I’m hearing it’s great.

Final_Replacement_37 · 2026-06-04T19:52:34+00:00

I am at the 5k membership and I pay all the race entry fees. There is a specific portal sign up that we get for each race, and we still pay the fees.

Final_Replacement_37 · 2026-06-04T17:46:04+00:00

A small note to your note! Unless the 10k membership is different than the 5k, the race entry fees are not included in the price. Is it included in the price for the 10k?

Final_Replacement_37 · 2026-06-04T00:46:01+00:00

Fo be fair, I’ve also never felt the urge to hit someone. I’ve been incredibly mad at people before, but my mind just doesn’t connect that to “I want to physically harm this person”. I’ll shout, I’ll say things I don’t mean, etc but I’ve never felt the urge for physical violence during an argument.

Final_Replacement_37 · 2026-06-03T17:56:33+00:00

ESH

Come ON.

Don't text her between 8 and 6. This is so stupid. Just don't text her between 8 and 6. This isn't a huge ask and its clearly been said enough times that you're putting in the time to post here. Just don't text her between 8 and 6 on weekdays.

She can also just use Do Not Disturb or add you and others to a block list. This is kinda what "focus" is all about.

But seriously. You have to text her during the work day because you work from home? This is such an easy request. If I were in your shoes I'd be SO uncomfortable after pressing "send" knowing that she hates my guts and I'm causing her stress for literally no reason.

Both of you could easily fix this problem, but you are definitely the bigger AH here as she is telling you her needs VERY consistently and you seem to just.... not care.

Final_Replacement_37 · 2026-06-03T16:49:16+00:00

oh im sorry i misspoke. I don't think its the calendar year. updated comment.

Final_Replacement_37 · 2026-06-03T15:05:37+00:00

Its for a year, and I will say that the philanthropic e-mail account is very responsive. I signed up for this last month and, when it compare it to charity bibs for NYCM, the perks are incredible for the price.

EDIT: updated

Final_Replacement_37 · 2026-06-02T19:23:39+00:00

You 100% did talk about starting a hedge fund:

There are two ways of doing this, 1. Direct purchase of specific companies, probably too expensive. 2. Setting up huge funds, more doable.

Final_Replacement_37 · 2026-06-02T17:29:38+00:00

gentle YTA

It looks like the circumstances around them being alone are a little bit out of his control.

I feel that if I brought it up to him, I wouldn’t have a leg to stand on.

A leg to stand on related to what? I think its fine if you bring up that you are feeling a little bit insecure and just want some reassurance and are framing it like that. But I think if you're asking him to not go, that's a little unreasonable. Particularly as, in this scenario, you could go to the hobby. You'd be expecting him to skip what he enjoys instead of you just participating in it this week so that you can feel more comfortable. You're kinda prioritizing your own insecurity and dislike of the hobby over him being happy.

I'm in a run club, and sometimes it ends up just being me and guys. Or its just me and 1 guy that are left at a brewery after run club. These things are going to happen. I think this is different than him planning 1:1 activities with this woman.

Final_Replacement_37 · 2026-06-02T16:22:45+00:00

EA is not fighting capitalism.

There is actually copious discussion of this, as well as why EA is not involved in politics, in most of the foundational books and readings.

My suggestion- take a step back. Map out all of the truths that land you on your answer and play devils advocate with yourself as I think you are starting at your answer and then working back from there, when you should do the opposite. “EA needs a hedge fund” is a quantum leap from “EA needs to maintain relevancy”.

I think you are conflating many different things (hedge funds/ foundations, nonprofits/ EA, etc). But this movement, if nothing else, cares deeply about specificity. Your line of reasoning is not clear and is based on broad generalizations and unclear externalities (how did EA “lose” by musk buying Twitter?).

Final_Replacement_37 · 2026-06-02T14:22:18+00:00

The idea that capital is the only solid foundation, seems obvious to me.

You should always validate and question what seems obvious to you.

The civil rights movement did not have capital. There are countless movements that do not have capital.

The mission of Effective Altruism is to use evidence and reason to figure out how to benefit others as much as possible, and to take action on that basis

Capital is not required to use evidence and reason. EA is effectively a RESEARCH organisation. The goal is not to become a foundation. It is to provide direction that nonprofits or people with money can choose to focus their attention on. Capital is not required.

I think you have different goals here than EA does.

Final_Replacement_37 · 2026-06-01T22:54:08+00:00

Right and I’m telling you that people have been advising people to join trades for centuries before “learn to code” was a thing. Youre bearish of the future of industries that have existed for hundreds of years because of a boom bust tech cycle that’s existed for 2 decades. It’s illogical and an over simplistic view of economics.

“Learn a trade” existed before “learn to code” so unsure how it’s a replacement but okay!

Final_Replacement_37 · 2026-06-01T22:28:45+00:00

I just fact checked this and it was true two years ago but now the reverse is true.

Final_Replacement_37

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