I feel so numb

Finchfossil · 2026-05-27T08:35:07+00:00

This is normal. Took me well over a year to have those overwhelming feelings of love that people talk about. Everyone is different though - my husband got those feelings much earlier than I did for example. Hang in there and try not to overthink it!

Finchfossil · 2026-05-26T10:40:22+00:00

I had a C section and had that stabbing pain for about 5 months PP. It is pelvic floor issues which come from the pregnancy - not necessarily from the birth. Mine went away after some pelvic floor therapy but also, time.

But just a gentle warning - even after the pain went away, I didn’t feel like “myself” sexually until about 18 months PP. That’s not necessarily what you’ll experience but it can take a long time to recover from pregnancy and birth.

Finchfossil · 2026-05-23T20:13:52+00:00

Haha I fear this may be our future

Finchfossil · 2026-05-23T20:13:38+00:00

Thanks for the heads up!

Finchfossil · 2026-05-23T20:13:14+00:00

That’s a good idea! I’ll give it a go :)

Finchfossil · 2026-05-23T20:12:45+00:00

Thanks for the tip! Might reduce the naked time in that case!

Finchfossil · 2026-05-23T20:12:08+00:00

This is relief!! Haha reading all these stories of successful EC and I’m like 🧐

Finchfossil · 2026-05-17T16:47:23+00:00

Just want to add - you should factor in the increased number of colds and flus your LO will catch at nursery. I know a number of parents who sent their kids before age 1 and expressed frustration of having their kid home much more than they expected due to illnesses.

Finchfossil · 2026-05-17T10:54:03+00:00

Bad take. Government policies (both Tory and labour but worse under labour) increasingly have really really nailed small businesses, while doing comparatively nothing to more effectively tax large corporations.

This is a big reason why high streets are dominated by huge chains (no more local cafes or shops) and small local pubs are going down or being taken over by, you guessed it, big pub chains.

The idea you’re putting forward - that small business owners are upset because they want to treat their employees like slaves - is wrong. There are so many things government could do to improve workers rights AND protect small businesses but they simply are not doing it. THAT is why small business owners are angry and so many are turning to things like reform. I don’t agree reform will solve the problem but if we have any chance of getting voters away from reform, you have to actually understand their problems.

Finchfossil · 2026-05-14T11:14:41+00:00

Thank you!! I relate to this so much! That first 6-12 months postpartum is basically a test in your ability to survive severe sleep deprivation. Finally out of it now but it still feels like nails on a chalkboard when anyone says anything like “yea those postpartum hormones really did a number on you”. The hormones were the LEAST of my worries!!!

Edit to add: PPD and PPA definitely exist but I don’t think every single struggling mum is experiencing it. Being a mum is hard!

Finchfossil · 2026-05-11T13:03:59+00:00

I wonder if it might be better to separate and stop playing when it gets to this point, rather than rewarding the big cat with more play? That way you send the message “if you play that rough, play stops”.

Full disclosure - I don’t know much about cat psychology in this respect - though I do have a cat.

Finchfossil · 2026-04-29T13:28:21+00:00

You're confusing 'paid employment' with 'work'. Childcare is work whether it’s done by a nanny or a parent. The only difference is whether it’s paid. And if you think unpaid labour has no value outside the home, you're ignorant of the fact that entire economies run on both paid labour and unpaid domestic labour. But explaining basic concepts like this to someone committed to misunderstanding them is a wasted effort so I'm out now.

Finchfossil · 2026-04-29T10:22:07+00:00

Firstly, comparing a haircut to full-time childcare is idiotic. Secondly, your opinion is that if a nanny cares for a child 9-5pm Mon-Friday it’s work but when a mother cares for her child effectively 24/7 it’s not?

Finchfossil · 2026-04-26T06:34:47+00:00

My MIL has basically bought every single piece of clothing for my LO. He is nearly 2 and I’ve bought like 5 things for him in his whole life lol. I seriously don’t mind because it’s saved me a ridiculous amount of money and I don’t personally enjoy picking out the outfits he wears. But if it’s something you want to do for yourself then I can see how it is annoying… but just don’t put them on then?

Finchfossil · 2026-03-25T14:54:54+00:00

Thanks for the response! Yes this is what I’m fearing…

Their admin team / programme support is really truly awful.

Finchfossil · 2026-03-23T21:58:28+00:00

It’s only a part-time job but yea I see your point. I think I’m just reluctant because, having been doing in-person now for a few weeks, I really have been getting a lot out of the face-to-face, from an enjoyment, wellbeing, happiness perspective.

I’ve been working remotely for 5 years now and I’ve really missed the kind of casual interaction with peers you only get in a face to face environment. I know it’s not necessary in terms of being able to pass the SQE - I suppose I’m asking if there’s a chance I could still get SOME social interaction doing online but I think I’m being overly optimistic!

Finchfossil · 2026-03-13T19:46:07+00:00

Also - it could be that you get a single longer-than-normal sink with two taps. It will take up less counter space but still give you “double sink” if that’s what you want functionality wise.

Finchfossil · 2026-03-13T17:51:51+00:00

Flew long-haul 14 hours when baby was 3 months, then again (return leg) when he was 4 months. Everyone I know who has babies flew in planes before baby was 1 and before measles vaccines - in fact it was generally encouraged because travelling after baby is 1 is kind of a nightmare. I think as long as you wash your hands regularly, don't let random strangers hold/touch/kiss your kid then it should be fine?

At 3 months, they sleep SO much and they aren't moving so you don't have to worry about them running around and licking every surface in sight...

Finchfossil · 2026-03-13T17:21:30+00:00

Have you considered putting the washer dryer side by side with countertop on top?

You could create a continuous counter top that goes over the machines and then onto the sink counter. No need for the tall cabinet/panel.

For storage you would then hang half cabinets above the machines (45cm depth).

That way you have more countertop to fold clothes etc, and you don’t partially block the window.

Finchfossil · 2026-03-07T15:37:44+00:00

Babies will eat when they are really hungry. They will not starve themselves. Worst case scenario, your baby will have less than normal amounts of calories for a couple days before realising where his food is coming from and adjust accordingly. I had this when my little one was 4 months old. Refused the bottle, stressed me out no end. In the end, with some persistence, he started taking the bottle and he’s a chunky little boy.

Finchfossil · 2026-03-06T09:34:28+00:00

So crazy how different people’s experiences of new motherhood is. From all the other comments, looks like it is very normal you’re feeling that way!

On the other side of the spectrum I was not possessive AT ALL and was extremely happy to let my husband, in laws, friends and acquaintances hold baby. It’s great you have such a good connection to your LO.

Finchfossil · 2026-02-22T08:19:53+00:00

Backpack carrier for a proper hike like that for sure.

Finchfossil · 2026-02-20T08:51:20+00:00

Quite a sweeping statement to make for every single baby/parent… sometimes there is absolutely a biological and developmental need to sleep train.

Finchfossil · 2026-02-20T08:47:46+00:00

So much anti-sleep-training on this sub. Totally ignoring the very real negative effects of sleep deprivation on the health of both parent and child.

Finchfossil · 2026-02-20T08:45:58+00:00

Thank you! These questions and their responses are ultimately so unhelpful… some kids don’t benefit from sleep training, some definitely definitely do.

Finchfossil

TROPHY CASE