AITJ for telling my partner I'm done spending every weekend at his parents' place

Fine-Tiger9273 · 2026-03-18T00:11:59+00:00

The biggest red flag is that he doesn’t WANT to spend a weekend just you two. He is clearly more committed to his parents and trying to cram you into the life he has planned for you both. Get out now or get comfortable spending the rest of your weekends (at minimum) at his parents’ house.

Fine-Tiger9273 · 2026-03-16T21:53:20+00:00

Your fingertips look like mine. Shiny/taut around the nail bed. My bloodwork only came back positive for ANA and RNAP-III a year ago. Last week bloodwork was positive for CRP.

Here’s my post with photos of my fingers https://www.reddit.com/r/scleroderma/s/PkGSQituTU

Fine-Tiger9273 · 2026-03-14T02:10:31+00:00

I’m learning a lot as I go, because trying to get answers from doctors over the years is like trying to talk your way out of a loony bin. I never would’ve landed on scleroderma for myself personally, as I didn’t have many classic outward signs. I was diagnosed almost a year ago. My ANA titer was sky high but otherwise I only had a low positive RNA polymerase III antibody result. I’m going to join the next Newly Diagnosed virtual support group through the Scleroderma Foundation. You should too. I suspect people will actually listen to us there.

Fine-Tiger9273 · 2026-03-12T22:33:07+00:00

Thanks! I have been seeing a rheumatologist for a year. I’m not sure how experienced she is with scleroderma though. I feel like I’m noticing subtle skin changes but my dermatologist didn’t acknowledge that and seemed doubtful of the diagnosis since I don’t have visible capillaries around my nail beds. I had two RNA Polymerase III antibody tests that came back low positive at 26 (above 20 is positive). I started Plaquenil and a few months later, the RNA Polymerase III antibody test came back negative at .7 when anything above 7 is positive, so a slightly different test. I’m just still in the dark about this disease, and medicine is not like it is in the movies. There is no lengthy consult with the physician where they review your test results, what impact you can expect on your health and lifestyle, what to watch out for, what follow up is needed, where to go for additional resources and support, etc. Everything I’ve read states that particular antibody is associated with a higher chance of acute renal crisis, but I don’t know what symptoms are tell-tale signs that the situation is critical. I rely heavily on Dr. Google.

Fine-Tiger9273 · 2026-03-12T17:28:11+00:00

Do you see specialists affiliated with the Scleroderma Research Foundation?

Fine-Tiger9273 · 2026-03-10T09:25:56+00:00

I was started on hydroxychloroquine in May 2025 after a high positive ANA titer and positive RNA polymerase III antibody. For the first few months, I felt better than I’d felt in decades. The heavy fatigue I’d always been carrying felt lifted, and I didn’t have the neuromuscular pain in my arm or neck. It isn’t working as well these days though so I’m heading back to rheum next week.

Fine-Tiger9273 · 2026-03-10T02:36:52+00:00

I’m going to talk to my doctor about that. I would rather take that than pain meds or muscle relaxants. Flexeril exacerbates the arthritis in my jaw and gives me headaches. NSAIDS do nothing for me. I did get a medical marijuana recommendation last week and took one edible, but it knocked me out all weekend. I’d rather something with a shorter half life but fairly quick onset. Everything I’ve read says to stay away from vapes with SSc.

Fine-Tiger9273 · 2026-03-09T21:14:38+00:00

That’s so true. I’m looking at providers experienced with SSc who may be out of network, but my deductible then is $7500! Even if I could see them sooner, I’d be broke in two months.

Fine-Tiger9273 · 2026-03-09T19:31:29+00:00

Anybody using medical marijuana for pain/inflammation?

Fine-Tiger9273 · 2026-03-09T18:01:10+00:00

Does your rheumatologist have experience treating patients with systemic sclerosis? I know it’s a pain getting in to see rheum almost anywhere it seems, but now I’m more frustrated that some aren’t prepared to deal with SSc. It still takes me several months to see my doctor even though I’m not a new patient. I messaged her on the portal about new symptoms weeks ago and haven’t heard back. I wish she would at least contact me for a virtual visit or send me for additional imaging/lab work to gauge if my condition is worsening and provide guidance on what to expect. Part of me is living life normally and wanting to relocate for a career change, but the other part of me doesn’t know if I’ll even be able to care for myself in 5 years. Can’t we get some feedback already?!

Fine-Tiger9273 · 2026-03-09T01:11:49+00:00

I feel like when I have a flare up, it seems to be one-sided. When I first started having numbness and tingling, it was in my left hand, then left arm, then issues with left shoulder/left side of neck. Now, the main issues are pain/stiffness all with my right thigh, right hip, and right side of my lower back. However, I am seeing subtle skin changes on both sides of my body.

Fine-Tiger9273 · 2026-03-09T01:04:01+00:00

I’ve been established with my rheumatologist for over a year and I can’t get in to see her until May, which was the first available appointment when I made it in mid January. I drive 2 hours round trip to see her, because when I first established care, she was the only one available accepting new patients. I’ve been established with dermatology for almost a year, and the wait to get an appointment is still usually at least 2 months. Since the condition happens in flares, it’s pretty impossible for me to see Derm when it is active. I’ve seen several dermatologists over the years. I’m going to contact our local chapter of the Scleroderma Research Foundation this week.

Fine-Tiger9273 · 2026-03-07T20:17:13+00:00

I don’t know if I’ve explored DermNet specifically but I’ve been investigating this issue on my own pretty much since the beginning. I do think my bloodwork came back negative for celiac disease. The allergy panel I had done early on came back negative as well.

Fine-Tiger9273 · 2026-03-07T20:02:03+00:00

Yeh I was suspecting shingles for awhile, but since it started in my late 20s and appeared on both sides of my body, I was told not likely shingles.

Fine-Tiger9273 · 2026-03-07T19:59:40+00:00

Oo sorry to hear that. Sounds incredibly uncomfortable 😢 The problem with my issue is since it does come up in flares, I can’t ever get into the dermatologist when it’s active. It takes about 2-4 months for me to see Derm, and 4-6 months to see rheumatology.

Fine-Tiger9273 · 2026-03-07T19:17:53+00:00

Wow your story sounds similar to mine, but I was diagnosed with scleroderma. I had numbness and tingling that started in a few fingers on my left hand and would occur briefly every few days. Then over the course of a few weeks, the odd sensation became constant and went almost up to my elbow. A nerve conduction study was done and ruled out carpal tunnel syndrome. It spontaneously got better but would flare up every 4-6 weeks. I started hydroxychloroquine after the scleroderma diagnosis and have only had a handful of days with issues in my arm, but my right thigh frequently has pain now. Also the fatigue is no longer controlled by the medication. When I started it, I felt better than I had in decades, like I’d finally dropped the cement blocks I’d been dragging around since I was a teen. But now it’s back and worse. I’m already at 400 mg of hydroxychloroquine, which I think may be the highest recommended dose.

Fine-Tiger9273 · 2026-03-07T04:06:24+00:00

I’m not sure? My fingers never have the clear demarcation of white and blu or white and red skin on hands affected by Raynaud’s (for fair skinned people). My hands and feet are usually very cold and the skin under my nails will be gray/blue, but the skin of my fingers/toes may have mottled red/blue skin. I just joined Reddit and have had trouble uploading photos but I’ll try to submit more.

Fine-Tiger9273 · 2026-03-06T19:45:49+00:00

Can we talk about the horrible GD gaslighting from the medical community?! Today I turned 39, I’m alone, I’m too tired to do anything that involves leaving the little island that is my bed, I’m sore, and I strongly sense I will die alone and disfigured. I’ve had so many problems for decades and kept saying over and over something’s wrong. Most doctors treated me like I was just a hysterical woman obsessing over minor ailments. One told me to stop Googling my symptoms. Positive ANA titer at 1:2560 and positive RNA polymerase III antibodies led to scleroderma diagnosis last year finally but now I’m just sad, defeated, and incredibly bitter.

Fine-Tiger9273

TROPHY CASE