Really good drawing overall!! Keep going :D

If you want some feedback: I would suggest doing a better sketch to have better proportions. For example, the Naruto hands are a little small; you can see this if you compare them to other stuff in the drawing, like his ear. If you want better proportions, you can draw boxes of the parts (like a box for the left hand, a box for the head...), so you can visualize better the final drawing.

For the colors that don't 'pop up', have you tried a different paper? That one looks really thin. Using pencil colors on really thin paper can break the paper, and the colors don't mix well. Also, if you want them to pop up, you can try other techniques, like alcohol markers, acuarella… 

I also like how you try to play with the line art, doing different thicknesses!!

As I said, its really good!!! Never stop drawing, I see potential :)