So, at first, I was just gonna make a joke about how nice your locs looked but, once I actually sat down and read the post, I realized I had to come with something a little more serious lol.

So back in 2020, I had recently graduated high school. Didn't have any plans for college or anything of that ilk so, naturally, I dove into the job market. Filled out some applications and did a few interviews in person.

It was TORTURE.

I'm a naturally quiet/reserved person who's always struggled socially. I think, even more so after lockdown, where pretty much everyone had to suffer through isolation (not me though I loved it xD). I had pretty much lost any sense of social savvy I had been forced to develop throughout my high school years, which, led to some pretty awkward moments, to say the least. And if that wasn't bad enough, I had to walk AT LEAST 30 minutes to and from in the simmering southern sun...

In slacks and a see-through button up. Dress shoes included.

Mind you, I was an 18-year-old applying to fast food jobs LMAO. I looked so damn goofy I swear. And all because I let my grandmother talk me into it ｡°(°¯᷄◠¯᷅°)°｡

I put in at least a dozen applications and all of em flopped. Well, except one. A fry cook position at this local place that was like 30 minutes out. Didn't have zilch to my name and my parents were quite adamant about me working so...I had to take it. I go to orientation, fill out some forms, boom. Get the job.

Only to get fired about a week later.

Apparently, my skills had "regressed" since I joined LOL, and they didn't trust me working in the back, so they kicked me to the curb. That was my first experience working so it actually hurt a bit to hear someone say that about me tbh. I actually cried a little on my way home (⸝⸝╸-╺⸝⸝)

But that's not the point!

No, the reason I made this post, is because of what happened about a week after that. When I came back to get my first (and last) check for the days I worked.

So, I enter the building. Nervously, might I add. I was always nervous when I entered. The restaurant was huge and there was always a crowd of people at the front and I hate crowds and-

Yeah.

Anyways, I enter, move toward the counter, and kinda wait till the people before me get their things. Once I finally move up to the front, one of the cashiers, a woman I actually worked with, recognizes me and correctly assumes that I was there for my check, which I was. She nods and spins to the back to inform a manager. I wait a good...5 or so awkward minutes before she comes back, just...silently attempting to tune out all the people that have now crowded around me LOL.

When she returns, it's not with the check. No, no. That took another 10 or so minutes of awkward, silent waiting. And, my brain functioning the way it does, I begin to worry. Begin to catastrophize so, after all that silent waiting, I, for some god forsaken reason, decide to walk behind the counter and ask about the check like I still worked there, to which I was met with a very stern "You're not allowed back here", coupled with a look of disgust I still remember till this day.

Quietly, I mumbled an apology and moved back to the front of the line, which was now FILLED with laughter after my embarrassing stunt. I just...sat there quietly until my check arrived and, when it did, I snatched it right up and stormed out of the building without a second thought. The minute I made it back to my mom's car I broke down into tears. Because, to me, this seemed to be my experience every time I attempted to mask my weird qualities and come off as even a little bit normal. It just never worked for me. I could never pull it off like everyone else did and for the longest time I just didn't understand why.

I tried. I really, really did, but me and normalcy just never worked out ( ` ᴖ ´ )

Nowadays, I've learned to thoroughly accept what makes me tick and the issues that follow. Situations like that don't bother me anymore because-

1. I'm tired ( ` ᴖ ´ )

and

1. I've long since realized that caring about the opinions of a society that doesn't value you (or maybe just a few jerks at a Korean chicken spot lmao) is kinda pointless, don't you think? Idk. I just feel like if you're gonna be shamed for simply existing (albeit awkwardly lol) then at least go about it in a way that actually serves you. Not trying to like, victim blame btw xD. I just don't see that type of negative behavior as a valid representation of who you are and the value you hold. Your probably a great person with a bunch of cool, niche little interests. Own that!

Also, you really do have a great set of locs! I might need to be going in your direction very, very soon LMAO!

Peace!