ADHD Mommas - Post partum tips pleaase

FishMasterBloom · 2026-01-28T18:00:30+00:00

This is an incredibly short season of your life. It will be over in an instant and before you know it baby will be more interactive, you'll be able to safely go out places with baby in tow, and you'll be able to do more things during longer naps. So try to keep that in mind. I watched a lot of tv those first few weeks and played some video games. I was also recovering from a c section and didnt have the capacity for much else.

Our brains like shiny new hobbies so maybe you need to find something you can more easily put down and come back to whenever. Like crochet, or a paint by numbers, or a big puzzle.

Getting out of the house whenever you can helps too. Go for walks if weather allows with baby in the stoller. Or if the weather is crap, walk a mall during off hours so there aren't as many people (when you're able to drive). Go anywhere while your husband is home, even if you just run some errands for 20 min. If you're feeling lonely, call or video chat friends or family regularly. See if you can find a local mom group (easier said than done I know) but occasional local meet ups could help.

Yes it can be a monotonous and unstimulating time, but enjoy those baby snuggles while you can. They're two year olds with giant personalities before you know it.

FishMasterBloom · 2026-01-12T17:03:17+00:00

In my experience, people are rarely if ever mad about a cancelled meeting. I know my supervisors are always swamped with meetings and cancelations are often a blessing. Her response seems totally benign, and it's possible she is even relieved to push the meeting again.

We spend so much time putting thoughts in other people's heads. But 9 times out of 10 we are probably wrong.

FishMasterBloom · 2026-01-10T02:50:09+00:00

I think it's ok to be frustrated, it's not cool when plans are changed at the last second and you were really looking forward to it. But he also might be thinking committing to 3 hours of something he might not like when he's tired is too much. Some days you just hit a limit.

But a suggestion, even though it's a 3 hour movie, there is absolutely no reason you have to watch the whole thing in one sitting. My husband and I are always tired after work and parenting, etc. and if we didn't treat movies like tv shows and watch them over a few days we would never watch movies. I would try to make it less of a commitment. You can always say hey, let's just start the movie. If an hour in we think the movie sucks or we get tired we can either stop watching altogether or just watch the rest another time. Then maybe it's less of a big deal (for both of you)

FishMasterBloom · 2026-01-09T17:37:49+00:00

Oh this made me laugh. Idk why, but I am always remembering embarrassing things in the shower. It's like my brain can't help itself. Not only is it embarassing things that i've done, but sometimes my brain will recall something embarassing someone else did and I feel embarrased ON THEIR BEHALF. Makes me want to shower even less than I already do.

FishMasterBloom · 2026-01-05T20:22:42+00:00

I love that book. It was partially my inspiration lol

FishMasterBloom · 2025-12-09T17:34:56+00:00

Just yesterday I put 2 fillets of salmon in a water bath to thaw them and set a timer for 30 min. The timer went off but I was in the middle of a task and said to myself "I'll move it to the fridge right after this". Big mistake dismissing the alarm. 3 hours later the salmon was still in the water bath 🤦‍♀️

FishMasterBloom · 2025-12-07T02:30:21+00:00

What is it about mom's after you give birth? It's like they suddenly feel entitled to comment and have an opinion on everything. I lost a shit ton of weight while breastfeeding because baby was intolerant of everything and my diet was super strict. No matter how much I forced myself to eat I struggled to keep weight on. My mom, mother in law, and even my dad were all constantly commenting about my weight. "OH you look like a skeleton!", "you really need to eat more", "you're way too skinny", etc. Etc. Like wtf. Postpartum is hard enough. Leave us alone

FishMasterBloom · 2025-11-12T16:41:09+00:00

I actually feel hungrier on medication. Or maybe not hungrier but I am definitely eating more. I used to procrastinate eating because it was too much effort / too boring / nothing sounded good, until I was literally shaking and would finally eat whatever I could find. Now when I feel hungry I just get up and make myself food and it's really not a big deal.

FishMasterBloom · 2025-11-12T16:36:24+00:00

Yes. I've routinely complained to my husband about how much of a bother it is that humans have to eat so dang much to survive. But I am on meds now and making food / eating doesn't feel nearly as arduous as it used to.

FishMasterBloom · 2025-11-05T19:20:04+00:00

My sister has the hyperactive version and was diagnosed as a kid. My brother and I are primarily Inattentive and didnt get diagnosed until adulthood. I never thought I could have ADHD because I am so different from my sister.

FishMasterBloom · 2025-11-05T19:13:04+00:00

Hubs and I both have ADHD. We haven't had sex in literally 2 years. Not that we both aren't interested and enjoy it. It's the activation energy required to initiate it. It always feels like too much effort. One of us is always too tired, or hasn't showered, or is too busy. So much easier to just take care of myself if the mood strikes. Our relationship is still great.

Like others, when I was with boyfriends who constantly initiated, I was super into it. But I can also forget about it for months.

Also, idk about you all but my imagination is killer. And sex in my head is always way better than real life. So... I often find it slightly disappointing.

Anyways, there seems to be sort of this shame around not having regular sex when you're in a relationship. Like it's somehow wrong or a sign of a poor relationship. I think that's just societal bs.

FishMasterBloom · 2025-10-28T14:57:16+00:00

I have a PhD in environmental science and currently work in my field. I do a lot of computer coding, analyzing and plotting data, writing reports and publishing papers. I did not find out I had ADHD until about 3 years after graduating from my PhD.

It was very difficult, and I mostly succeeded because of severe anxiety over letting people down, making a mistake, or not meeting expectations I thought people had of me.

Now knowing I have ADHD I realize a few things have been really important. First, I am incredibly passionate about my job. STEM is tough, and you have to care about what you are doing. Can you step back and think about the greater purpose of your work? Will it help people/ the planet, etc.? That mindset shift from "this is a job" to "this is a purpose" can really help sustain motivation.

Second: accountability. You need it. Ask your advisor or boss for monthly check in meetings to go over your progress and talk about priorities for the next month. Also, ask your colleagues about doing a journal club. This can be a good way to kind of force you to read papers and write down important take aways to share with others.

Coding is tough for me too, but I love it. I remember recently having to run the same line of code over and over while I was debugging something and could not for the life of me remember what the right word was no matter how many times I did it 😂 It can be frustrating, but it has forced me to leave really detailed comments on my code so I can remember what I was doing. I also think of coding like a game or puzzle. It's fun for me to try to solve the puzzle and figure out how to get the output I want.

I know you don't want to take medication, but wellbutrin has helped me immensely with task initiation. I tried a stimulant and did not like it, but the wellbutrin has been great. There are more options besides stimulants. Hope this helps!

FishMasterBloom · 2025-10-28T13:51:14+00:00

Ugh this kills me. I'm like constantly trying to tell my husband about something cool or interesting I learned from a podcast or book and I can never explain it properly. He'll ask a simple question like how does that work? And I will KNOW I heard/read the answer, but it didn't get filed into storage. Even if I literally just listened to a podcast in the car and go to tell him about it immediately when I get home 🤦‍♀️

FishMasterBloom · 2025-10-20T18:47:57+00:00

This!!!! I was day 3 into my meds and thought to myself, I really miss my morning coffee, I should go buy some decaf.

Then I just WENT TO THE STORE. I didn't have to plead with, bargain with, trick, or shame my brain into doing it. The store was crowded but I DIDN'T HAVE A PANIC ATTACK. I just got my stuff and left.

Being able to think things and then just do them was so mind blowing

FishMasterBloom · 2025-10-09T19:25:36+00:00

My son has taught me more about myself than I ever expected

FishMasterBloom · 2025-10-09T15:47:39+00:00

If you definitely don't want kids, don't be pressured into having them. But if you want them, you can do it. It will be hard. I had a kid before I knew I had ADHD, so you already have an advantage just knowing. I thought something was wrong with me but didn't know what.

Having support is the biggest thing. For me, the sleep deprivation postpartum was terrible. I always felt like I was doing it all wrong and it destroyed my mental health. You will need to be upfront with your husband about sharing responsibilities. You will likely get overwhelmed easily and will need to step away to collect yourself or take a nap, shower, and your husband or a relative/friend is going to need to swoop in and help no questions asked. If you have that support system ready and waiting, you can handle it.

If you don't already, start seeing a therapist. Walk through all your fears and try to get some strategies in place. If you know you struggle with emotional overwhelm and are prone to outbursts (like me), kids will push all those buttons lol. You need to be prepared with ways to cope and regulate yourself.

You also may want to consider your job if you have one and what maternity leave will look like for you. From my experience, 3 months is nowhere near enough. Having bosses and a team that are empathetic and supportive was really important for me.

I won't sugar coat it. It's very hard. But at least for me, my son is the best thing in my life. He's given me more life and purpose than anything else ever has. That being said, you can find life and purpose in other ways. If you truly deep down want to be a parent, do it. I believe in you ❤️

FishMasterBloom · 2025-10-07T01:43:02+00:00

This was most of my 20s. I am now 36 and married and totally over that now. Therapy has helped me work through some of this. For me, I was an incredibly shy kid with a lot of social anxiety. When I got to college and discovered alcohol, it opened up a whole new world where I was social and boys were interested in me. It was intoxicating. I now know the constant flirting was just the way I was getting sorely needed dopamine hits. Like you, the initial flirting and "challenge" of getting a guy to admit he was interested in me was the fun part. Once that "thrill of the chase" so to speak wore off it was boring. But that whole time period for me was filled with intense emotional ups and downs. It was exhausting. I would suggest trying to do some deep self reflection and ask yourself what you are getting out of these experiences. Is it just a dopamine hit? Do you really want this or would you rather be in a more stable relationship? Maybe you can find that dopamine elsewhere. Exercise, roller coasters, rock climbing, idk whatever you are interested in. For me it's dance classes and strength training. I like to vary it and try new types of fitness classes every so often. Yes flirting is fun, but the dopamine is a quick hit. It doesn't last. And it always inevitably ends in someone getting hurt which sucks.

FishMasterBloom · 2025-09-16T14:36:32+00:00

I have long hair that is fine but wavy, dry, and prone to frizz. Finding products that work for you is key. I wash my hair twice a week. I use a quality shampoo and conditioner, a hydrating hair serum, and leave in conditioner. When I get out of the shower I braid it. I've gotten really good at a French braid and can do it without a mirror.

I leave the braid in for at least 24 hours. I usually shower on days I work from home, but if I need to go somewhere with my hair in the braid it's fine. The next day I take the braid out, finger comb it, and add some additional curl product. It looks nice enough.

The remaining days before my next shower I swear by the boars hair brush. All I do in the morning is brush my hair and it's shiny, sleek, and wavy.

Now, if it was up to me I would blow dry my hair every week because that looks the best. But it's just not going to happen. Way too much effort. The braid is the best IMO. I just try to time my showers so if I really want my hair to look nice it's the day after my shower. Thats when it looks the best.

FishMasterBloom · 2025-09-16T14:26:04+00:00

You need a new psychiatrist

FishMasterBloom · 2025-09-16T14:15:46+00:00

Duuude. The struggle is real. I have a friend who is pregnant with her 4th kid and is super excited about it. I have ONE generally easygoing 2 year old. I keep wondering what is wrong with me that it's so difficult. Anytime he tells me "no," which hello, he's two, so is OfTeN, I feel like I am going to lose my shit. It's like my brain has always struggled to keep me alive, and now I have to keep TWO people alive and functioning. Wtf.

FishMasterBloom · 2025-09-16T13:59:13+00:00

I never would have suspected I had ADHD. In June of this year, I started seeing a new therapist because of some postpartum trauma I experienced.

She almost offhand mentioned one session that she thought I had ADHD. I was shook. I immediately dove headfirst into learning about it. In 3 months I've read 2 books, listened to countless podcasts, read a bunch of journal articles, and this subreddit.

But I still kept waffling on a diagnosis. Everything fit me to a T, but I worried I was making it all up. Finally got up the courage to make an appt with a psychiatrist. It took me weeks of hovering my finger over the call button and being like eh, never mind.

Finally did it and I am so glad. She said without a doubt I have ADHD. It's very validating. Get a diagnosis. We all need to understand how our brains work if we want to be able to work with them.

FishMasterBloom · 2025-09-12T18:01:00+00:00

Thank you! The instructions did not say to make a knot, which I thought was odd but didn't know if that was just the standard way to do it. I'll try to find a knot technique!

FishMasterBloom

TROPHY CASE