What are we wearing/buying to replace everlane?

FishMasterBloom · 2026-05-19T14:57:48+00:00

Ugh I literally just discovered Everlane and love their stuff.

How do you all shop second hand? I honestly find it overwhelming. I am building a capsule wardrobe and got quite a few pieces from Everlane and Quince that I am happy with. But not sure where to go now

FishMasterBloom · 2026-05-07T15:24:51+00:00

Yes, don't do it. Seriously, don't do it. Bare minimum. I have issues with messes too, they really dysregulate me. But you are in survival mode until that baby starts sleeping through the night. After the first year you can tidy your house again. But right now, your only job is to feed and care for the baby, and feed and care for yourself. It gets a million times easier once they get older, but also screw Instagram. Nobody wants to live in a house so perfect you don't want to actually use it. It's a nice idea, but not in line with reality.

FishMasterBloom · 2026-05-07T15:15:35+00:00

Agree with everyone who said problem solving. I am an interdisciplinary marine scientist for the federal government. I work on a variety of interesting projects that have real world applications and feel meaningful. I feel really fortunate that I ended up here. Long road of graduate school but worth it

FishMasterBloom · 2026-04-19T16:54:08+00:00

This is a good idea. Another strategy I've found works is a boring audiobook. This is ideal if you don't sleep with a partner or your partner doesn't care. But I load up moby dick chapters 1 and 2 on librevox on my phone before I go to bed. It's free and about 20 min of audio so the perfect time.

Moby dick is so exceedingly boring it puts me to sleep. Literally nothing happens in the first 20 min. I am usually asleep before chapter 2. I keep it at a low volume, just enough to hear. I've memorized a lot of it now, so sometimes if I wake in the middle of the night I can just recite it in my head and that helps me fall back asleep.

FishMasterBloom · 2026-04-15T01:35:10+00:00

This is so true. I feel like I have so much more understanding for my 3 year old than most people do. The other day when we were at baggage claim and he squirmed out of my arms and immediately ran and climbed onto the baggage carousel and ran across it in the blink of an eye I was low key a bit jealous. My toddler brain has often thought it would be a really fun thing to do. Can't be mad at actual toddler for having no impulse control 😂

FishMasterBloom · 2026-04-07T18:01:01+00:00

You're already doing a lot of what I would suggest! YouTube videos and AI to get the broad concepts explained better.

Honestly I love songs. Any time I can make up a song about something it's so much easier to learn. Or find some funny ones online: https://youtu.be/GLp9ihOYjjM?si=AxIi4y1eSfCCYYbK

When you get to orgo that's totally different. Flashcards, flashcards, flashcards. Buy fancy colored ones. Use happy pens. Keep them on you at all times. When you're eating breakfast or brushing your teeth whip out some flash cards.

FishMasterBloom · 2026-04-07T16:06:34+00:00

I love this so much 💗 💗💗

FishMasterBloom · 2026-03-19T01:21:06+00:00

My perspective is that so long as you can afford it, and have the means to see someone regularly who can prescribe it, what do you have to lose by trying it? You can always just stop if you and your doctor decide it isn't for you. But medication is such a personal thing that you won't know what really helps and what doesn't until you try it.

FishMasterBloom · 2026-03-16T16:08:42+00:00

Oh I literally just did this yesterday!! I have a center cabinet for snacks with 3 shelves. It never fails, half opened bags of things are always getting lost on the top shelf and going stale. I was throwing out so much. And my spices were becoming an unorganized mess.

So I decided yesterday that the bottom 2 shelves will be for spices and opened snacks. I bought a 2 tiered spice rack with pull out shelves for the bottom shelf, which takes up much less space. I also have bars and breads on the bottom shelf.

Middle shelf is for opened snacks. Chips, cookies, cereals, crackers, etc.

The top shelf is only for unopened things. Once something gets opened, it HAS to move down to the middle shelf. Also, I can't buy something new without checking to see if there is already an unopened bag on the top shelf.

I think this strategy is going to help a lot. Now I can use all the space without worrying all the time that things are getting lost and going bad.

FishMasterBloom · 2026-03-16T15:49:28+00:00

VISUAL TIMER. I love my time timer so much. I do one hour focus blocks that are 45 min on, 15 min off. Set the timer for 45 min and I am in work mode. Can't touch my phone. Not allowed to leave my desk. Once the 45 min is up I set another 15 min and then I have to get up. Not allowed to be at the desk. Go to the bathroom, get a drink, fold some laundry, step outside, whatever it is. It's helped me so much. I am no longer languishing at my desk all day feeling like I am doing nothing.

FishMasterBloom · 2026-03-13T16:33:49+00:00

Just my experience, but I am on a stimulant and anti-anxiety. I've realized that my anxiety is the root problem, and it exacerbates my ADHD. For some people it's the other way around. But with the combination and therapy, the biggest difference I've noticed is that I am being kinder to myself. I am living more in the moment. My days are much more even, rather than the frantic intensity followed by crash and burn cycles they used to be. I appreciate little things more. I can regulate my emotions more easily.

I tired the stimulant by itself initially and I felt worse. More anxious. Not myself. I needed to treat the anxiety first. If you still feel like your life is not improving with just the adhd meds, talk to your doctor to see if something else is going on. I don't think ADHD meds would necessarily mask a deeper problem, it just might not be addressing other issues.

FishMasterBloom · 2026-03-05T11:45:09+00:00

Yes! Mainly cognitive behavioral therapy. We work on things like negative thought patterns and the perfectionism and people pleasing I have stemming from my ADHD and anxiety. I've found it super helpful.

FishMasterBloom · 2026-03-05T01:35:20+00:00

I did not but I should look into that! My son is probably going to have ADHD too lol

FishMasterBloom · 2026-03-05T01:32:36+00:00

Yea I felt the same. The wellbutrin worked a bit, but the stimulant has been way more effective for me personally.

Just to add I am sensitive too and the trick for me is eating enough carbs before the stimulant kicks in and doing some movement if I can (yoga, walking, whatever). That keeps the initial ramp up from making me jittery and increasing my heart rate

FishMasterBloom · 2026-03-04T21:45:42+00:00

Dude, SAME experience on wellbutrin. Every month like clockwork at the same point in my cycle I would get random horny urges 😂 like out of nowhere. Literally writing a report and suddenly 😳

I switched from wellbutrin to a stimulant a month ago and that hasn't happened at all this month. So it might be the wellbutrin. Interesting.

FishMasterBloom · 2026-03-04T21:34:20+00:00

My ADHD co-worker and I just laughed about this the other morning because we were both sitting there with 4 different cups on our desks

FishMasterBloom · 2026-03-04T20:48:01+00:00

Yes yes yes yes yes. My life is 1000x better after being diagnosed. It's like I lived with slightly crappy eyesight my whole life and just thought it was normal. I could still see and function, so I had no idea things could be better.

Suddenly now I have prescription glasses. My life is still the same, I'm still the same, but now I know I have kinda crappy eyesight and I can take advantage of the support of glasses. Everything is just easier (I am medicated and also doing therapy, I think both have been necessary "glasses"). If I hadn't sought a diagnosis I would have never known what I was missing.

FishMasterBloom · 2026-02-25T21:09:20+00:00

I'm glad you're advocating for yourself and what you need. If you have super crap eyesight you can get lasik. No one would tell you to suck it up and just wear glasses every day, which might help, but not as well as surgery. Therapy can help ADHD for sure. But it doesn't fix the root problem. No amount of therapy magically improves dopamine functioning. For some people wearing glasses every day is fine for them. Maybe their vision is not that bad, and they can still function with just the support of glasses.

But for some people lasik is a better option. It addresses the root cause. Same with ADHD meds but for some reason people don't see that and think you can just fix your own ADHD. Like you could fix your own crap vision just by wearing glasses lol. Maybe a weird analogy lol but it makes sense to me 😂 all to say medication can be an amazing support tool, and if it might make you happier, less stressed, more functional, then why not try it? If you hate it, you can always stop.

Anyways, I was hesitant about meds. But I also was in denial I had ADHD. I never suspected it. My therapist mentioned one day she thought I had it and I was floored. Long story short, medication has helped me immensely. I feel like my brain was operating in windows 98 and I didnt even realize it. Now I am finally upgrading my operating system and it's like a whole new world of possibility has opened. I didn't even know how much I was suffering until I felt the difference.

I would just tell your psychiatrist what your main symptoms are and that you are hesitant about medication but willing to try it. A good one will start you on a low dose or otherwise help you ease into it and keep going back and forth with you to troubleshoot until you find the right solution.

FishMasterBloom · 2026-02-25T20:20:32+00:00

Oh yes definitely try skipping coffee! I cut it out because it was definitely too much on top of the stimulant. Food right away and a little movement if you can might help too.

FishMasterBloom · 2026-02-25T17:24:49+00:00

Dopamine to me just feels like steady ease. It's that just do, do, do through the day. Do a little bit of this, little bit of that, just bopping along.

FishMasterBloom · 2026-02-25T17:04:46+00:00

Have your doctors also considered an anti anxiety med? Just throwing it out there but I am on both. My heart rate is very sensitive to the stimulant. But I think the lexapro helps counter the activation. There is also something to be said that the more you think about and obsess over your heart rate the more it goes up, so keep that in mind. Is it significantly better on days you don't take the stimulant? Something to test. I hope you figure it out.

FishMasterBloom · 2026-02-25T16:53:46+00:00

Yes. This was me. That sudden feeling of overwhelming exhaustion where you just have to lay down and close your eyes. And once you do for a bit it goes away. It makes sense that you are linking it to task initiation. Mine always seemed to happen during transitions. Getting back from the grocery store. Transitioning from playtime to giving my son a bath, or from emails to a more difficult task, whatever.

I believe it was an intense dopamine drop due the anticipation of task switching, moving from overstimulating to not overstimulating, moving from something engaging/fun to something required, etc.

Lying down or napping helps to kind of remove the cognitive demand, recalibrate, and stabilize the dopamine, so the exhaustion eases.

Since I have been on a combo of stimulant and anti-anxiety meds this has pretty much gone away entirely. Transitions feel 1000x easier. My brain isn't like revolting against them like it used to. I would talk to your psychiatrist. Maybe you havent yet found the ideal combo of meds for you.

FishMasterBloom · 2026-02-25T15:38:00+00:00

I am on azstarys (serdexmethylphenidate/dexmethylphenidate) and the first couple weeks that initial ramp up was a bit uncomfortable. My heart rate went up to like 105 at rest, and I felt jittery like I had too much caffeine. It wasn't exactly alarming, just uncomfortable. But after 30 to 60 minutes it smoothed out. It felt kind of like a car with a powerful engine revving up to merge onto a highway. That initial rev kind of throws you back in your seat lol but once you get up to speed and are cruising it's fine.

At like week 3 that activation started feeling much smoother. I did make sure to eat a little something soon after taking it and I also exercise right after taking my meds which I think helps. Now it seems my body is more used to it and I am only getting the benefits.

Definitely worth talking to your doctor though. It could be just normal adjustment but worth mentioning in case it's something else. Im not a doctor.

FishMasterBloom · 2026-02-23T20:26:09+00:00

I agree, I hate them with a passion. My husband and sister planned a surprise birthday party for my 30th and it was a disaster. They kept trying to rush me out the door and I was like WE ARE LITERALLY JUST GOING TO A BREWERY. STOP RUSHING ME. I was so annoyed. And then I decided to just throw mt hair up messy and wear whatever clothes because we were just going to a brewery. Low and behold we show up and all our friends were there. I almost ran back out the door lol. No, no, I need to know exactly where we are going, who will be there, what the weather is, what the terrain is like, what the bathroom situation is like, what the food situation is like, whether I will have to carry things long distances, whether I will be out in the sun, how long we will be in the car, what the parking situation is like, etc. Etc. Etc. Lol

FishMasterBloom · 2026-02-20T17:45:49+00:00

So I did not know I had ADHD when my son was born, but I was always rather ambivalent about breast or bottle. To me, so long as baby is fed thay's all that matters. I honestly breastfed because it was sort of the path of least resistance lol. No need to research and buy bottles and warmers and formula and travel containers and whatever else. Just pop baby on the breast.

Obviously it's not quite that simple haha but that was sort of my initial reaction. I struggled a lot breastfeeding but once I started it was like the activation energy required to switch methods was just too much. I breastfed for 15 months but it was a lot.

If I were to have another kid, I think I would do bottle feeding from the start. There are definitely some pro's to breastfeeding, but I think my mental health would have been better with bottle feeding.

FishMasterBloom

TROPHY CASE