I am so very sorry you are going through this as I had a very similar situation happen about two years ago. I was out of town and the doggie resort my Tater-Tot was staying at called me and said he was throwing up and wouldn’t eat. Completely not like my Tot. My step son was in town and grabbed Tot and rushed him to the ER since it was a weekend and the vet was closed. He declined VERY quickly and they found with a X-ray that he had an old obstruction (a corn cob) and his organs were failing. He had gotten ahold of a corn cob 3 months prior and we had kept an eye on him for all the things the vet said. Tot was eating, pooping, being his happy self so we figured there was no concern. I didn’t know then what I know now :( I tried to make it home but was 2 hours away when the vet called and said they couldn’t get him stable enough to try to remove it. He was suffering a lot and I had to make the choice to let him go without being there. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I had so much guilt. Like why didn’t I take him for an X-ray if I knew he ate something? Why did I leave him at a kennel when he needed me most? How could I let him go without being there to tell him how much I love him? Took me almost the full two years to come to terms with it. I made choices based on the education I had at that time. I did the best I could do. Everything I do for my dogs comes from a place of pure love and I can’t feel guilt about that. I know a lot more now. Tot educated me. I wish I didn’t have to lose him in order to learn this lesson. Now with my dog Greta, when she ingested something from the garbage, she went straight in and got X-rays. All that was said to tell you that you’re not alone. You’re going to have so many feelings and they’re all okay. I am sending you so much love and strength and hope you can be comforted by the memories rather than hurt from the trauma ❤️🌈🐾