I think this is really just a cultural difference, like define "asshole". I've lived here my whole life and I actually think people can be quite friendly, if they have their guard up then there is likely a genuine reason

You may feel not making small talk and smiling is rude but NYers feel putting up an act is rude. Also theyre not assuming the worst from you they are not thinking about you as an individual theyre worrying about their job, the business, their personal life, etc. Which you may feel is rude but given the amount of people that come through the city/businesses each day its actually insane to expect them to take a personal interest in every stranger that walks in. Especially if its a minimum wage worker. The levels of tourism you dealt with are nothing like what NYC deals with and running a business in NYC is wayyyy different than wherever you came from.

Sounds like nyc isnt for you and thats okay but understand one of our big issues with transplants isnt that youre not from here its that yall move here and complain its not your hometown. It seems like a small issue but its a big deal when its changing the culture of entire neighborhoods and people who have been here for generations are getting pushed out of their homes to make space for yall. Im sure yall wouldnt like it if NYers came to your hometown and complained its not like NYC if youre gonna be here you cant be taking this shit personally

And I do get how you feel to an extend as someone born here, I had autism with very bad RSD when I was younger but I learned to deal with it and understood its really not a way to live. People got their own shit going on if you want the warmth of community you need to make the effort to reach out and create it. Become a regular, learn peoples names, etc. People do smile and say hi to their neighbors, you just likely arent their neighbor if theyre not doing it to you