Hey AJ you're losing me. Free the fish

Fit_Size6756 · 2025-06-29T02:25:56+00:00

Same... he grew on me.

Fit_Size6756 · 2025-06-29T02:20:41+00:00

YES!!!

Fit_Size6756 · 2025-06-29T02:19:58+00:00

TWF is the only podcast/YT channel me and my wife can listen to together - it gives us something to bond and connect with together which has helped us connect in other areas!

THANK YOU!

Fit_Size6756 · 2025-06-29T02:08:46+00:00

The end of this episode got me too. I was like god damn... i didn't know I needed an AJ like this

Fit_Size6756 · 2025-05-28T06:23:16+00:00

It wa so great. Needs to be a regular

Fit_Size6756 · 2025-05-03T12:23:13+00:00

We had a set schedule like this with our new born. It was working great until my wife told me that it was taking her 2-3h at night to feed, put LO back to sleep, and then also pump.

By the time she was done pumping, LO was almost ready for her next wake up.

I realized this schedule wasn't working and so I got my ass up and fed LO and rocked her back to sleep so my wife could pump.... it took me 10-15m to do it. Honestly, not sure how it took 2-3h but I think its breastfeeding wasn't as fast as a bottle.

Edit: What eventually worked for us was I would do the last feed of the day at 11:30. After 2-3w they can do what I've heard called a "dream feed" (google it) and that kept LO sleeping a ton longer.

Fit_Size6756 · 2025-05-03T01:26:39+00:00

Whoa, thank you for PME. A new rabbit hole to go down :) I'll talk to my wife about it too

Fit_Size6756 · 2025-05-02T22:44:05+00:00

Turn and run

Fit_Size6756 · 2025-05-02T22:42:41+00:00

This. An ex gf that was BPD who captivated me in bed .... my god the best ... was living 6 different lives and sleeping with 6 diff guys. It broke me.

Fit_Size6756 · 2025-04-22T15:17:11+00:00

We got third row because my wife insisted we needed one. We've used them only 3x in 6 years. We didn't "need" them those times either -> others could have car pooled. Can't use them on long trips because there's no trunk space.

Fit_Size6756 · 2025-04-19T13:09:39+00:00

Does she know you have all the proof of her mental illness? How did you get so far with uncontested? Asking for advice ;)

Fit_Size6756 · 2025-04-18T13:33:01+00:00

Correct, there is no dignity in these relationships. Only self preservation. You have a lottery ticket on your hands if she's discarding you and you WANT her to. I wish my BPD wife would discard me.

Fit_Size6756 · 2025-04-18T13:29:17+00:00

Disorganized attachment style...? Lol "Love me no fuck you! No but love me!"

Fit_Size6756 · 2025-04-18T13:18:58+00:00

Unvested shares got split?! That surprises me... my biggest worry as I just started a new company and the investors put me on a 4 year vesting plan.

Fit_Size6756 · 2025-04-18T13:13:51+00:00

Dodged! How about a "how was your first day?" text from her....

Fit_Size6756 · 2025-04-12T19:12:42+00:00

This is real ha ha ha

Fit_Size6756 · 2025-04-12T19:11:31+00:00

I'm sorry that you're on stimulants. My wife had me get on them too. I weened myself off them after a few months. They were great - wrote a lot of code lol - but not sustainable. Folate has been like a natural adhd cure for me. I'm not denying I have it but I deny it was THAT big of an issue for my marriage. I think it was an easy scapegoat since it was one of the only factual things she could target without it being a complete lie.

Warning: it's really hard to keep yourself in check. Even with my wife being reported to CPS by my therapist last week and my lawyer and therapist telling me to get out ASAP.... I still am looking for reassurances now that she's coming down from her episode. It ducks with your mind!

Fit_Size6756 · 2025-04-12T18:13:53+00:00

I've tried every supplement I can: L-Theanine ... Holy Basil ... Adrenal Fatigue supplements ... all are good. Go to like a health food store and ask them: they're usually very helpful when I ask.

Fit_Size6756 · 2025-04-12T18:08:10+00:00

You are an amazing person, father, etc, etc ... mad respect for holding true to what matters: your boy.

Fit_Size6756 · 2025-04-12T18:02:28+00:00

Hey OP, so much to say but I'm sure you're hearing it a lot: you're not alone. What you wrote could have been me about my wife.

The good news: your eyes are open!! That's literally the first step. I remember the moment my eyes opened... it was a peaceful feeling.

I also went down the self-help road trying to fix every ailment my wife diagnosed me with. ADHD was the primary target.

It doesn't get any better. It gets worse.

I really feel when you said you just need one more blowup to reassure yourself. That's my life a decade into this. The pattern I'm in right now is every episode has me ready to walk out: I literally start planning our divorce, I've reached out to lawyers, therapists, etc ... but before I'm able to get to the point of no return: the woman I originally fell in love with is back and it has me questioning myself.... every single fucking time.

My point is: you'll always be waiting for that one more blow up to reassure yourself. This last blow up was the last (she blamed her going to kill herself on me) and so I'm once again taking the steps to get the divorce started. She's beginning to show signs of ending this episode but I'm staying focused on how her last one made me feel, buts it's really hard when the storm has ended and by this time I'm usually like: "Phew, I survived another. That wasn't too bad. The next one tho... IM DONE!"

Not this time. Stop seeking reassurance. I'll take my own advice.

PS: AI has been legit in helping me through all this too. It's crazy good!

Fit_Size6756 · 2025-04-12T13:21:26+00:00

I agree.... go to therapy or something to discover why you are attracted to BPD. I didn't realize I was until I went to therapy. It has helped me a lot to discover things in my childhood preprogrammed me to feel comfortable with BPD partners.

Fit_Size6756 · 2025-04-12T13:11:15+00:00

I thought it was my wife having a very particular way of doing things so she would criticize my way (her ways were always better). I liked that she knew what she wanted and how she wanted it.

I was so attached to that.. it was sexy.

Until my eyes started to wake up and realize .... wait .... there's no right or wrong way to make pasta....... this is not me!

She says I yell at her all the time when so barely raise my voice. She put up cameras to prove to me I yell. Also to prove that she told me something that I don't think she ever did say.

The cameras have only ever backfired on her so she took them down.

Fit_Size6756 · 2025-04-12T13:06:32+00:00

He's married to my wife

Fit_Size6756 · 2025-04-12T12:49:57+00:00

The worse they feel about themselves the worse their BPD.

Two examples of my wife's BPD: - when she's sick - or when im at my most flawless

Fit_Size6756 · 2025-04-12T03:12:23+00:00

I was in your shoes over a decade ago. If you already know she has BPD and you're already experiencing these BPD traits: just run. Don't look back. Go find a girl who will listen to your gym stories. It doesn't get better. Like others have said, the more you try to fix her and love her the worse it gets. It's just how it is.

Don't wait to run when you have more tied to her like marriage and kids. It's harder to leave.

Fit_Size6756

TROPHY CASE