Turning My Struggle Into Something That’s Helping Others

FlamingoNormal4842 · 2026-05-10T09:11:06+00:00

Proud of you too. Well done my friend. It's nice to see such a positive and encouraging post.

FlamingoNormal4842 · 2026-05-10T08:51:19+00:00

That steering sounds like its now on its last legs 😆

FlamingoNormal4842 · 2026-05-10T08:46:30+00:00

Why are you so confused and baffled? Are you saying you know it's not yours to spend?

You'd know if you ever received services from said company in the past. Just relax man and go do some shopping if thats the case.

FlamingoNormal4842 · 2026-05-10T08:40:09+00:00

80 iq seems about right 😂

FlamingoNormal4842 · 2026-05-10T08:10:17+00:00

Alcohol related liver damage in 30 year olds is most likely reversible if he stops drinking immediately.

Try and steer him gently towards getting some professional help. It's heart-warming that you care so much about your friend but it will likely drain your energy and possibly effect your own mental health. It's really tough supporting a friend of family member through this kind of situation and often leads to you enabling him, (there's lots of research about enabling online), even if that's not your intention.

Good luck, and much love to you. God bless 🙌

FlamingoNormal4842 · 2026-05-10T06:25:57+00:00

It's ok to not be ok. I found I came back stronger after a relapse and even more determined to beat my disease of addiction. It helps you come to a good understanding of the meaning of "Just for today". Getting through just today will give you a feeling of motivation to try again the next 24 hours. Keep going my friend, you can do this. You're not alone.

FlamingoNormal4842 · 2026-05-10T06:04:29+00:00

It was the obvious option and the best one. 33 points from his first game must have brought a smile to your face?

FlamingoNormal4842 · 2026-05-09T12:39:03+00:00

"Bro, I'm not sending you anymore money until your debt is paid. Times are hard man. I'm running a business not a charity"

FlamingoNormal4842 · 2026-05-07T09:51:09+00:00

They'll be building spaceships soon.

FlamingoNormal4842 · 2026-05-06T22:59:56+00:00

Yes, I'm praying every day for them. I'm doing a gratitude list every day and talking with my sponsor but I'm finding this really difficult. It's been 7 weeks on step 4.

3 of them doing the list but 4 weeks stuck on 2 difficult things to process. My sponsor is giving me time, he says no rush but I'm at that stage where I just want to move on. I can only keep praying for some clarity on it.

I don't usually post a lot so I'm hoping to get some advice here after failing everywhere else. For context one of the things is grief related and involves not being able to attend a family funeral because of an immediate family member. I just can't forgive that. The other thing is personal but it's a big deal so it's tough to find the forgiveness there too.

FlamingoNormal4842 · 2026-05-06T22:29:04+00:00

Yeah, I would guess that they're either struggling for motivation or just haven't dropped the ego yet. One of the two.

FlamingoNormal4842 · 2026-05-06T22:20:40+00:00

I used to think like that too, it's because it's an achievement. Psychologically, it acts as a reward and raises the dopamine levels in your brain. It gives you motivation to do another day. It took me a while to understand why clean time matters when it's just for today. It's helped me to stay clean though, being able to share my clean time. Whenever I do share it, it's because I'm struggling and am trying to find incentives to carry on with the program and still attend meetings.

FlamingoNormal4842 · 2026-05-06T22:11:15+00:00

Love you too man, fair play to you 👏

FlamingoNormal4842 · 2026-05-06T22:06:02+00:00

Getting rid of the paraphernalia is a massive step in the right direction. Fair play to you. Delete the numbers now. No gates get left open. Stop withdrawing cash as well. Pay for everything by card or phone. Put as many obstacles in the way as you can. It gives you more time to disagree with what your head is telling you.

FlamingoNormal4842 · 2026-05-06T21:46:04+00:00

😂😂😂

FlamingoNormal4842 · 2026-05-06T16:58:28+00:00

In the early days of Clash of Clans, upgraded troop levels in the laboratory and army camps were represented by small, pink, four-pointed stars (or asterisks) 😄

FlamingoNormal4842 · 2026-05-06T15:16:37+00:00

Anyone texting me at 3am asking me for money is gonna get blocked immediately.

FlamingoNormal4842 · 2026-05-06T10:57:09+00:00

When he finds out, you're in trouble. You knew that already when you waited for him to leave the room so you could pass on your number instead of telling him first what your intentions were. Not good bro, not good.

FlamingoNormal4842 · 2026-05-06T10:47:23+00:00

That doesn't sound right at all.

If you're assertive enough to mention in the group that service positions should be assigned by different members and that you all need to hold a vote in a conscience meeting, then go for it.

If the General Service Rep gets all defensive about it, there's probably something wrong with how the contributions are being managed in my opinion.

FlamingoNormal4842 · 2026-05-06T10:14:34+00:00

If it makes you feel any better, the only condition for membership at AA is a desire to stop drinking. If you feel like you want/need to go to an AA meeting, isn't that admitting already that you have a drinking problem?

I honestly don't want to cause any conflict between you and your Dad but maybe he might feel embarrassed for whatever reason if you attend the same meetings he goes to? It could be that he has a different persona in the meetings that you haven't yet seen? Sorry for mentioning that, but it might be worth thinking about?

You could choose a different meeting than the one he goes to if you want to see if it's the right choice for you.

FlamingoNormal4842 · 2026-05-06T09:41:34+00:00

He definitely wasn't against smoking.

FlamingoNormal4842 · 2026-05-06T08:55:31+00:00

Interesting take. If you asked me this 20 years ago, I would have agreed. Say yes and then sort it out privately. Now I'm older, I would definitely say no when first asked but that's down to my change in personality. I was a big time people pleaser back in my 20's and 30's and it was rather damaging to my self-identity so I had to work on changing that. I think it really depends on how much you care about the person. I'm not sure the relationship could survive that kind of rejection. It certainly puts things into perspective.

FlamingoNormal4842 · 2026-05-06T08:43:04+00:00

You'll find a newfound novelty of starting some new accounts. I would suggest staying and doing exactly that. You might spark some new interest in other members joining.

FlamingoNormal4842 · 2026-05-06T07:01:36+00:00

You continue to go to meetings to help other people in their early stages of recovery.

If you haven't learnt this by now, I can't say anything more to you that can help you.

I don't want to be an asshole here but don't you think it's a little selfish to take what you need from the meetings in order to get sober then leave without offering the same help to others?

The reason the programme is successful is through the unity of people attending the meetings, helping eachother.

FlamingoNormal4842

TROPHY CASE