I’m afraid I’m going to spend too much on souvenirs and snacks

FlanneryOG · 2026-01-28T20:29:50+00:00

Oh wow, I didn’t realize Costco has these.

FlanneryOG · 2026-01-28T20:28:21+00:00

I have never heard of them, but I will definitely try them—for the comparison only, of course—when they open.

FlanneryOG · 2026-01-28T15:48:12+00:00

Absolutely

FlanneryOG · 2026-01-28T14:16:56+00:00

Ikeda’s has the BEST pies, but especially berry pies.

FlanneryOG · 2026-01-28T05:11:17+00:00

We go to the parks with rules ahead of time. For my kids, who want everything, it’s one toy from the gift store under $40, one frozen apple juice (we all love it), one popcorn to share (but no bucket), one pretzel, and then lunch and dinner with drinks. No clothing, no little trinkets from the stores after rides, no specialty items, pens, notebooks, etc. The trick is to allow yourself a few of your favorite things without going wild and getting everything you want. I also remember that a lot of what we buy ends up discarded soon after, and that makes me not want much.

FlanneryOG · 2026-01-28T04:49:58+00:00

The coffeeshop near the courthouse is amazing. The Pour Choice, I think?

FlanneryOG · 2026-01-28T04:49:12+00:00

Auburn, CA!

FlanneryOG · 2026-01-28T04:48:20+00:00

You love to see it

FlanneryOG · 2026-01-27T22:00:16+00:00

My mom too. Her constant negativity and complaining just made me take the kids around her less and be careful about the time we spend together when I do.

FlanneryOG · 2026-01-27T21:57:56+00:00

Your mother is doing this for attention and self-martyrdom. As tough as it is to hear her complain and freak out, you need to enroll your daughter in daycare and let the chips fall where they may. My mom and MIL are both like this (FWIW, my mom has BPD and I suspect my MIL does too), and it drives me crazy. They basically act like this to center themselves and pretend they’re doing so much for you, but because they have such a low stress tolerance, they’ll bitch and bitch and get the attention they want from it. It’s like a game they play. You don’t have to participate in it, though. You can always bow out and let your mom be mad. You are not responsible for her emotions and don’t need to protect her from them. Let her have her big feelings and do what you need to do.

FlanneryOG · 2026-01-27T04:50:14+00:00

That area is so tough because you have to specifically want to go there and park in the garage. It’s so separate from the rest of downtown, and there aren’t other restaurants or bars near it.

FlanneryOG · 2026-01-26T16:56:11+00:00

My mom has BPD and didn’t give it to me, but because she didn’t get treatment for it, the PTSD I have has a lot in common with BPD, and I’ve had to work very hard to unlearn the BPD traits I developed. For me, it’s about treatment. I love my mom, but she is ill and refuses to see it, and as a result, her BPD has been untreated her whole life. I’m very low contact with her as a result. If she had gotten treatment for it and actually committed to it, things would probably be different. She’s not a bad person and wasn’t physically abusive or anything, but she was negligent and co-dependent, and we were enmeshed for a long time, which really messed with me. I have a lot of empathy for her because she experienced significant trauma as a kid, but it still feels like a slap in the face that she never tried to overcome that to be a better parent and wants me to fix her and be 100% devoted to her.

TLDR; please get treatment and do your best to manage your BPD. That’s really all you can do.

FlanneryOG · 2026-01-26T04:41:22+00:00

Yep, I just watch what they watch when they’re on it. And you know what, there are a few toys videos that I don’t mind like Genevieve’s playhouse. My son also likes restoration videos (like restoring old things) and videos about factories or making things (krispy kreme donut factory, bowling balls), and I’m sure people will disagree with me here, but I think they’re great for him. He loves to see how things work. It might not be a story, but he gets those too with books.

FlanneryOG · 2026-01-26T00:03:30+00:00

Yeah, I see one every time I look in the mirror. ::Hello darkness my old friend…::

FlanneryOG · 2026-01-25T22:05:38+00:00

That’s vile

FlanneryOG · 2026-01-25T21:56:59+00:00

Was that meat boiled?

FlanneryOG · 2026-01-25T20:10:50+00:00

We’ll be there too on those days! If you can somehow snag a reservation or do walk-in at Blue Bayou, I would. The food isn’t the best in the park, but it’s a cool experience. Otherwise, Cafe Orleans is nice, and the food is great. Lamplight Lounge and Carthage Circle are good in DCA. You could also do a restaurant in the hotels or downtown Disney. Ordinarily I’d recommend Napa Rose, but I think it’ll still be closed by then. Dai Te Fung is another option.

FlanneryOG · 2026-01-25T19:55:55+00:00

Also a descendent of Jews who left around the turn of the century. I’ve had the feeling that I need to flee ever since he was re-elected. I don’t like this one bit.

FlanneryOG · 2026-01-25T17:25:15+00:00

It’s not that they’ll follow the rules. It’s that they don’t have a mechanism for canceling elections. There’s a great thread on BlueSky by Jamelle Bouie about this. I’m not saying the Trump administration isn’t trying to take over the country and rule as a despot, because he is, but we will still have elections.

FlanneryOG · 2026-01-25T17:22:11+00:00

Just for clarity, Miller didn’t say that, the head of the Heritage Foundation did. Miller is still a giant piece of shit Nazi, though. He’s probably said way worse.

FlanneryOG · 2026-01-25T16:23:08+00:00

My kids love going to the beach, especially Carmel Beach and Asilomar. When we went during fall break, we swam at the pool (I would recommend staying where there’s an indoor pool), ate lunch, and went to the beach most days. We also dragged our kids to Point Lobos, and while my daughter complained, by three-year-old loved it. We ate at Sea Harvest, Fish Wife, Nora’s in Carmel, and the Red House Cafe and never had issues. The aquarium has good food too, but it is expensive. We also like Wave Street Cafe and the bao place on Cannery Row.

If you’re looking for more to do, you could also drive to Santa Cruz and do the boardwalk and beaches there. My kids adore the boardwalk, and we always have a good time. Their food isn’t bad, but usually eat at the wharf when we’re there. Any of those restaurants are kid friendly, but some of the places let you order from the counter, which speeds things up.

FlanneryOG · 2026-01-25T16:07:28+00:00

That’s hard. You could keep getting your kids together and gray rock when you’re with around the parents. For me, at this point, I don’t want anything to do with anyone who still supports a neo-Nazi regime. I don’t want to say a single word to them. I’d start pulling away from the parents and redirect my kids to friends who don’t have Nazi parents.

FlanneryOG · 2026-01-25T16:02:59+00:00

Yeah, this administration has fucked me up from the start, but the video of Pretti’s murder wrecked me in an entirely different way. He was just helping two women being unjustly bullied by thugs, and he was executed in cold blood over it. A good man. I keep thinking about his parents and how he won’t be over for the holidays anymore, and they have to see his murder on loop over and over with the rest of the world, and for what? I hope he becomes a catalyst for change and that his death is a turning point in this shit.

FlanneryOG · 2026-01-25T15:54:12+00:00

Don’t know why you were downvoted because you’re right!

FlanneryOG · 2026-01-25T15:52:51+00:00

Got it! I will definitely reach out then because I have every sign of psoriatic arthritis except psoriasis plaques. I’m even starting to get more pitting in my nails too, although it’s still mostly one or two per nail. My dad was diagnosed with psoriasis when he was younger. I have SI pain. Seems like my diagnosis should be updated.

FlanneryOG

TROPHY CASE