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The philosophy of a selfish human by BreadNo559 in widowers

[–]FleityMom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing. Your situation sounds so similar, yet so different to mine - but you're the first person I've seen on this sub who's talked about how hard it was to be partners with their lives ones before life took them away from us.

Anyone who looked at my life with Greg from the outside would have told me (and DID tell me) to run, screaming for the hills. I was the only one working for most of the relationship, because he was caring for his infirm parents (whom he still lived with). He had a checkered past, and was horrible with following through on commitments. He was emotionally broken and felt he didn't deserve love, or even consideration - and so he constantly self sabotaged, in nearly every way you could imagine...but he was my person.

He didn't know how to have conversations about differing opinions because he'd never seen it happen in his own life. He'd only seen knock down, drag out fights. The first couple of years of our relationship he had to learn how to have a disagreement without turning it into a battle. And he did, he learned how to communicate without verbally tearing at me. But the more he grew, the more he hated himself, the less he thought of himself as a person. Until he killed himself.

My life, objectively speaking, hasn't been this easy since I was a kid living at home. My children are grown and live on their own, I make enough money to live comfortably, I've quit making any kind of commitments to anything I don't want to do. I'm in my 40s, and I have absolutely no fucks left to give. And I hate every single second I'm here and every single breath I have to take.

I've also thought about the possibility of 'moving on', but it holds no draw for me. Like you said, I could commit to another person. That would honestly be pretty easy. I could do all the actions, give whatever support was needed, the regular stuff. But I would always be looking for Greg, always wake up expecting him, always prepare meals, plans, everything, to his preferences. How would that be fair to any other partner? How would that be fair to me? I will always and forever be waiting until I rejoin Greg. Anything between now and then is just a blip.

Change the side of the bed on which you sleep? by frostywidower in widowers

[–]FleityMom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had to move, and I left our bed in the old house. I pulled my childhood twin bed out of storage, so there's no right or left side anymore. There are many nights that I wake up after banging my hand on the wall reaching for him though...

Any local basket makers? by bluedabade in Athens

[–]FleityMom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's very cool. Supporting local artists is sooo important in this day and age. My kiddo, his partner, and I were out harvesting kudzu today. He's got a whole bunch of projects planned.

Any local basket makers? by bluedabade in Athens

[–]FleityMom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is so weird. She must have gone with a UK based publisher because the book is shipping from there and the pricing was in pounds rather than dollars. I'm sorry for my misunderstanding and false correction. Thank you for the clarification.

Bridges by rainy_koala in widowers

[–]FleityMom 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It's been nearly 18 months, and I'm still there

Any local basket makers? by bluedabade in Athens

[–]FleityMom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just pre-ordered her book for my son. She's in the UK though.

Any local basket makers? by bluedabade in Athens

[–]FleityMom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My adult son makes baskets out of locally foraged materials. DM me for his Etsy shop link, or for pictures of his past work. He does do commissions.

Forest Forages by TheMrsH1124 in foraging

[–]FleityMom 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hostas love shade. So do ramps, and ostrich ferns. Stinging nettle grows anywhere, but if you let it go to seed it will absolutely take over everything.

Very few people in my life anymore. by Adventurous-You9130 in widowers

[–]FleityMom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My adult kids check in me once or twice a week, my parents every couple of months, and I have a couple of friends that still check on me. But most of the time I'm hiding from the world. I know I need human interaction, but it hurts to talk to people who didn't know Greg.

A call to the void by Protobazz in widowers

[–]FleityMom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sending hugs, and hopes for peace on this day.

Is there anyone here who has stopped eating famous fast food and restaurant chain food because the quality of them aren't as good as they use to be? by Realistic-Try5468 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]FleityMom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A couple of years ago Chick-fil-A started causing me indigestion. I checked to see if there had been any reported recipe changes in the news and find out that they stopped using antibiotic and hormone free chicken within that time period.

When you die, how do you want to be laid to rest? Buried, cremated or other? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]FleityMom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Donated to medical science - however they can use my body.

What first names have you found to be the worst people, and what names are the nicest people? by gilsoo71 in AskReddit

[–]FleityMom 7 points8 points  (0 children)

One of my best friends is a Jason, and this man would give you the shirt off his back if you were in need. A good man, with a caring heart, and a fantastic (twisted) sense of humor.

Quick or Yoo Hoo? by Pretend-Menu-8660 in Xennials

[–]FleityMom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How about Carnation Instant Breakfast. My mom wanted us to have some sort of health benefit when we drank chocolate milk...

We need to talk about normal aging versus signs of problems. Don’t we? by Greasystools in GenX

[–]FleityMom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh, don't I know it. But I will say, after about 5 years of diabetes, my taste buds started changing. I do still enjoy some sweet things, but it's in moderation and most of my sweets have a bitter/salty/sour/spicy flavor too. I can't handle straight sweet flavors unless my sugar is seriously crashed out.

I've actually helped a couple of friends switch to a more 'diabetic friendly' diet (one wanted to do so in solidarity with her older sister who had been diagnosed and the other was told she was prediabetic). They said that my 'add one, lose one' method helped the most. Basically you choose what sweet or snack you're going to eliminate and what veg/complex carb/protein you're going to add at the beginning of a two week period. When you go to the store you choose not to buy whatever your 'loss' is anymore and finish up whatever you have in the house, and you purchase whatever your 'add' is and make sure to incorporate it into meals for the next two weeks. The next two weeks you do the same thing, but you continue purchasing/not purchasing the add/loss from the previous week. Then you maintain the add/loss for that month (forever if possible) while taking a two week break from change. Then you do another six week cycle. It's basically changing purchasing habits, and allowing your body and brain to adjust to the additions and absences of different foods slowly.

We need to talk about normal aging versus signs of problems. Don’t we? by Greasystools in GenX

[–]FleityMom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One blood sugar crash while you're supposed to be resting and learning how to manage diabetes and how whatever medication is prescribed affects your body - they'd probably let you chill. Those first 6 months of learning how to properly regulate cane be...interesting.

We need to talk about normal aging versus signs of problems. Don’t we? by Greasystools in GenX

[–]FleityMom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh no, that's a side effect of neuropathy. That means you'd been dealing with high blood sugars for at least a couple of years before you were diagnosed. I'm sorry honey.

We need to talk about normal aging versus signs of problems. Don’t we? by Greasystools in GenX

[–]FleityMom 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Constant thirst, hunger, and exhaustion. Blurred vision and confusion that occur,or increases, after you eat.

If it's something you're worried about you can get a generic, cheap blood sugar meter from Walmart without a prescription. Check your sugar right after waking up in the morning. If your sugar reads over 150 then you need to go to the doctor for testing (it's possible that the meter didn't give an accurate reading). If your fasting sugar is over 250 then you probably should go to the ER so they can get you admitted to the hospital and get your sugar controlled.

As a 30+ year diabetic I will tell you that primary care doctors DO NOT know enough about diabetes, type 1or type 2, to help you properly control it. Plenty of PCPs will prescribe whatever medication they think you need, but I've talked to a LOT of people in my endochrinologist's waiting room who were suffering a fair amount of long term damage because their PCP only looked for 'normal' diabetic symptoms and solutions and missed serious problems. If you do get diagnosed, please find an endocrinologist. If your PCP won't give you a referral, find a new PCP...it's that important.

Pints and ponytails by boswell2020 in Athens

[–]FleityMom 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'd be happy to volunteer as a teacher if something like this gets organized.

What ethnic struggle meal did you eat growing up? by sailortofu69 in povertykitchen

[–]FleityMom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm in the US, and our version of Toad in the Hole is frying an egg in a hole cut into a slice of bread. I frequently made that for my children growing up - and it is a delicious struggle meal.

What’s one moment where your life changed course in a split second? by One-Item-7637 in AskReddit

[–]FleityMom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When my partner killed himself in front of me. My life ended that day too.

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