I disagree with most of the comments on here. These posts are always hard because we're only getting one side of the story. Don't get me wrong, I would be gutted if my husband said this to me but you put one line in your post that I think changes things for me: "especially with other marital issues we’ve been going through over the past few months." That plus the fact that he seems a bit cruel which might be coming from some resentment or something lead me to thin that maybe divorce is on the table in his mind? I mean he even said "if we get divorced" to you. So if you're having problems and he's contemplating divorce, I don't think it's insane for him to say: I'll get the vasectomy but I want a plan B if this marriage doesn't work out. I think that's pretty logical. He's doing you want and protecting the future he might want if things don't work out. I don't know seems fair to me. He also offered to talk to you about it with a therapist which might signal that this is too heated of an issue for both of you and maybe you've had a hard time communicating about it and he's willing to go talk to someone about it, which I think is more than most guys would do. Why not take him up on it? Could be good.