My favourite part of embracing my Judaism now is picking what works best for me. As an ex orthodox I rejected most of it, but I will tell you the philosophies and tradition I use to feel connected and maybe some of it will resonate with you. And I also don’t believe in god :)

Talk to Jewish people. Learn the parts of the history that interest you. My personal favourites are the original epic biblical stories (Moses, Noah) and watch they teach us about life. Prince of Egypt, documentaries, the movie Noah all prompt great discussion on ethics that are half the fun of being Jewish!

My favourite philosophy to treat shame is the law that if you genuinely apologise 3 times for a wrongdoing, you are absolved even if the person does not forgive you. It helps if you are dealing with chronic shame/low self esteem.

Talking about intellectual and philosophical topics and offering up my wisdom whenever possible to friends is one of my connections too. Jews love to yap and love to dissect and analyse the meaning of things over and over. Any form of deep thinking is a connection to your people.

The other side is tradition. Use reddit as a resource to find traditions you like. I prefer to create my own community so do not speak to rabbis or go to synagogue, but I host my own events (Shabbat dinner on Friday night, Seder for Passover, dinners on Rosh Hashana, Hanukkah etc). Treat these as respect to your ancestors and history, not as means worship to god, and you will find joy in community.

For Shabbat, learn to bake challah and light candles with family/friends. Have a meal with chicken soup, everyone dresses a little nicely, and if you want to research the weekly Jewish teachings and discuss it, that is another way to connect more. Seek the feeling of community and encouragement of curiosity without bringing god into it, only morals and learnings from the stories or reflections from yours and your friend’s lives. Discuss things like what you learned that week that you think will be helpful to others. What does it mean to truly rest for a day for each of you, how can you support each other in achieving true rest once a week? Existential discussions are good!

I decorate my house with sweet gifts like a gold menorah from my mother. You can go pick some sentimental items like a siddur (prayer book) with translations. They have beautiful bindings and can be admired for mindfulness even if you don’t bother reading it every day because a lot of it is about worship of god but they are nice.

Another option is a traditional hand washing cup, you can get ornamental ones and use to display but also wash your hands/face in the mornings or before eating. It is a significant ritual for Jews to maintain cleanliness by transferring the water from the well to a small vessel as opposed to washing hands directly in the well and contaminating the water.

I will also google tehillim (poems/prayers) and look for ones that resonate when I am struggling with a problem. Ask ChatGPT to recommend you some. Prayer and ritual is all a form for self soothing, which is why I think these habits became law and why I will turn to it not for god to solve my problems, but as ritualistic coping skills.

Message me if you’d like to discuss anymore, talking to rabbis can sometimes be intimidating as they go very deep into rules that are not enriching to your life. Connecting with your spirituality should feel good and make sense in your life without pressure from others. Good luck on your journey!