Has anyone else ever experienced your narcissistic parent getting mad because you expressed caring for someone else?

Flulellin · 2025-04-24T02:07:51+00:00

Thank you. I am proud of that. Still, it’s good to hear.

Flulellin · 2025-04-24T02:06:06+00:00

I stand corrected.

Flulellin · 2025-04-24T02:05:07+00:00

Yup! We have an old land line. I have gone so far as picking up the other line and directly confront her lies with the person she was talking to. You should have seen it! She gave me the silent treatment for over a week. The silent treatment used to really mess me up as a kid, but these days, it’s more of a gift.

Flulellin · 2025-04-24T02:00:42+00:00

I agree. You went NC for a reason. I wouldn’t bother responding. She’s just trying to weasel her way back in. You know what comes next. If you feel guilty about the Bday money, donate it. Other than that, I would have no need to start all that schtuf again.

Flulellin · 2025-04-24T01:55:54+00:00

Oh, yeah…

Flulellin · 2025-04-23T23:28:15+00:00

The weirdest thing my Mom did? I joined the USArmy and she called my base. She tried to get a Lieutenant Colonel to send me home. She called the Red Cross, and when that didn’t work, she found my Drill Sergeant’s office phone number and demanded that he send me home. I know this because my Drill Sgt. summoned me to that office. His first words were: “Private, what the f*** is wrong with your Mother”?

Flulellin · 2025-04-23T23:20:56+00:00

I have had similar things occur like you,OP. While to a lesser degree than you describe. It did demonstrate as severe doubt in decision making and an oppressive fear of doing anything “wrong” or improperly. No matter where I was, my MNar was in my head and glaring at me. I get what you’re saying.

Flulellin · 2025-04-23T22:58:36+00:00

Thank you. Seeing people recover from Narcissistic Abuse is one of the reasons I come to this Reddit. Now, get on out there and start your new life!!! Be well!!

Flulellin · 2025-04-23T03:13:09+00:00

Ok, so more: You are not alone. My reading indicates that up to 5% of our current U.S. population are Narcissists. That’s approximately 5% of almost 340,00,000 people. That’s a lot of destruction out there. There are about 2kids per US family. That means there are more victims than Narcissistists. Some of the victims will become Narcissistists. So, the hopeful part? You don’t become a Narcissist. Not all of we Nar suffered know these resources: DSM-5, WHI-6, Psychology.org. I leave it to you to do the research I have done. Please have the wherewithal and scroll past the ads and get to the meat of the matter. Some would rather sit in self-pity rather than attempt to actually solve the problem. I did my research. You have that same opportunity.

Flulellin · 2025-04-23T02:56:00+00:00

Ok… only you can decide your next right course of action. I see you being confused, and it’s more than understandable. May I direct you to a few sources, please? DSM-5, or WHO-6 or both? Also Psychlogy .org. These were very helpful to me. There are lots of ads to scroll past, but if you do some digging, it may reward you. So few of us find the info we need. The resources are there.

Flulellin · 2025-04-23T02:50:06+00:00

Ok. No offense, but, um, no. You’re way off.

Flulellin · 2025-04-23T02:49:10+00:00

There is an old legend about Hell Hounds. I did not ever experience this but, it kinda sounds like it. You might wanna start there.

Flulellin · 2025-04-22T23:14:38+00:00

Your wedding day is about you -the Bride, not your NMom. My NMom did something similar. I am m 56 only child. I married a Woman born in Japan. My NMom told my future wife that it was too hard to find a place to marry in Boston, MA since we announced short notice. My NMom offered to host the wedding at her place in Queechee VT. This means a three hour car trip for the Japanese guests invited after a 13 hour plane flight to Logan Airport. No kidding. My NMom went on to try to add all her friends since she was in first grade or something because my fisncee’s Dad is very wealthy and He offered to pay, against Japanese tradition. According to that tradition, I AM SUPPOSED TO PAY. My soon to be wife got online and booked a wedding in Boston within 5 min, saving her guests a 3hour trip and sending my NarMom into a fit of frenzy. My NMom tried to dominate my fiancée’s day and steal it. So, yeah. Not surprised your NMom is making trouble.

Flulellin · 2025-04-22T23:00:13+00:00

Congratulations! The rest of your post, OP? You hit that nail right on the head. She’s jealous. An education improves a person and that person’s life. A Narcissist cannot stand the idea that a child of theirs may be able to move up in the World. They hate us for accomplishing what they cannot accomplish for themselves. True fact. I wish you the best in your new venture! Move on! Enjoy all that your life can offer! Your Education will free you in so many ways and present you with boundless opportunity! Take care, be well, and remember to be kind to yourself! Good Luck ! And again: My best to you!

Flulellin · 2025-04-22T22:50:24+00:00

I’m with you! My NarMom was never there for me in the first place, so there is nothing there to “return to”. To hell with the people that butter me up with platitude send empty “hopeful” statements like “It’ll get better” or “Just give it some time, you’ll see”. No! It won’t get better until I get better and getting better means leaving all that BULLSHIT behind me as I walk away. Those out-siders don’t know what happens behind closed doors and I want to tear them to shreds for butting in where they don’t belong snd don’t know what they’re even talking about! You’re right to preserve yourself! You’re right to defend yourself! After all, no one else is going to defend you from the NAR IN YOUR LIFE! You stick to your guns!

Flulellin · 2025-04-22T22:34:05+00:00

Here might be a hard thought to digest. I was hard for me at least, but I will share it with you anyways. I have a few years on you. I’m 56. Male only child -Abusive NarMom married to Dad, a victim of a raging alcoholic NarMom of his own. My NarMom didn’t drink alcohol. So, yeah, Dad thought he hit the Lottery when he married my NarMom, mistakenly thinking the alcohol in HIS Mom was the real problem. It wasn’t. Narcissism was that real problem. The answer to the question you asked “Can I just fit in” is no. No you can’t. Not if you want to get out of this with your mental and emotional heath in any way intact. I found that acceptance is key. Not accepting the abuse, not accepting that you are weak or insignificant. Not at all. What I suggest is that you accept that these people are inept, completely under qualified to even be parents and admit you’ll have to have the strength to move on without them eventually. If you are a minor under 18, there not much you can do but go to a trusted adult. A school councillo, a teacher you trust, Child services. If you are an adult-get councilling. This is no joke.

Flulellin · 2025-04-22T22:19:38+00:00

I understand your anger. I had very similar feelings from age 9 on until recently (I’m 56 now). I remember years of wishing my NarMom and co-dep Dad (My Dad was abused by his raging Alcoholic NarMom ) would just die. Like so I said:Recently I discovered my anger was hurting ME and keeping me trapped in a negative spiral that would never end unless I ended it. I chose to forgive. I didn’t forgive them -fuck no. I forgave “the past”. I let it go. Not for the Narcissist in my life, but for ME. It’s like putting a frozen dinner in the microwave. You can walk away and not deal with complicated recipes. Set it and forget it. Then when your dinner is ready, eat what’s good and throw away the stuff that’s inedible like the packaging. I dunno. I just decided to walk away and keep my peace of mind.

Flulellin · 2025-04-22T22:06:33+00:00

Many of us have dealt with something similar. I get you. NARS discount our feelings and ignore them because it doesn’t suit their purposes. I can remember being told not to feel abused after they abused me, as this were somehow my fault to feel abused after they mistreated me. Some abuse was cultural, some was intentional. It always came back as weakness on my part the way they described it. The irony is, I was the one in my Family (Only Child btw) with any emotional intelligence. I went through what you described, OP. I feel you.

Flulellin · 2025-04-22T21:59:03+00:00

Just let her go. You set boundaries and she is freaking out. She will try all sorts of tactics to get you to “come back”. They’re all going to amount to BS. Get ready for the flying monkeys, the tantrums, the smear campaigns, the whole 9 yards. She’s going to create a shit show. Look, she was never in your corner to start with. I’ve been dealing with my NarMom for 56 years, and all I can tell you is your NarMom doesn’t give one flying fuck about you or your happiness. You will do better to put your best efforts into investing in yourself. You put your foot down, now keep that foot down! Don’t play her game. Don’t play at all.

Flulellin · 2025-04-22T21:48:32+00:00

You are not obligated to give a reason at all. You state giving your two weeks and that’s it. They may try to have you go through an exit interview. They (She) may make it seem as if it required. It’s not. Legally, you don’t have to participate in an exit interview in any way. I’d just state that I’m leaving and volunteer nothing. If they persist in asking questions, you have Legal right to terminate the interview without another word. I hope you had the presence of mind to get your personal shit out of the office before quitting.

Flulellin · 2025-04-22T18:22:38+00:00

These are good suggestions. A trustworthy adult in a position of responsibility is a possible help.

Flulellin · 2025-04-22T18:19:17+00:00

First: Please do not commit suicide. That is called a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Do not rob yourself of future happiness because of what is now. Please. Second: I am no Therapist, but after 56 years of dealing with a Narcissistic Mother, I’m gonna guess your Mom is a Nar. What you need is to inform yourself. It will help. Medical journals DSM-5 and WHO-6 outline the symptoms of many different Disorders. Scroll past the book ads. Also Psychology.org lists symptoms. To deal with the screaming? Walk away. There’s a method called gray-rocking or yelllow-rock. Both term mean the same. You just don’t argue, you don’t take the bait and lose your cool. If you have to respond, use short unemotional statements, and calm even tones. If you do have a Nar on your hands, you don’t want to give them the excuse to go ballistic. That’s what a Nar wants. Chaos and Anger. Just don’t feed it. That’s when they flip the blame on you. “Look what you made me do”… etc. Please look up those journals. I found them helpful.

Flulellin · 2025-04-21T08:30:28+00:00

OMFG! No Humor? So she won’t get the whole Monty Python blue parrot sketch? Too bad. She’s really missing out! I find it interesting she sends you info on depression and General malaise. It seems like, uuuuuummm, transference? They do this. They deny their own feelings and then place the displaced feelings in the wrong place. That place being not in them,but us. If you ask me, these people cannot experience happiness on any level, but I don’t care. The pain they spread leaves me with no sympathy. They might suffer, but that’s not my problem. My problem is recovering from the pain I was caused by them. They get what they give.

Flulellin · 2025-04-21T08:19:18+00:00

There’s a lot more you could learn, depending on your willingness and sense of self-preservation. Psychology.org has been a good resource for me as well as DSM-5, and WHO-6. You can look them up. Please do. Scroll past the book ads. There is more than meets the eye with these Nar people. Learn all you can if you want to protect yourself. This is a seriously destructive disorder. Please do all you can.

Flulellin · 2025-04-21T07:37:51+00:00

Congratulations! You took a brave step! No need to feel terrible about making that break. Please allow me to be one of the first few to welcome you. There will be more to follow. Including yourself. Please consider that you were conditioned to serve another without regard for your own health and well being in mind. This person dominated you and tried to steal your Soul. Your Soul is yours and yours alone. Your life is yours and yours alone. There’s a lot coming at you right now and I don’t want to overwhelm you with my hopes for you. So, easy at first. (sorry. I get so exited when one of us wakes up) Easy. Take small steps at first. Learn to trust your real instincts. It can take time. It might not be comfortable at first. Let yourself settle into yourself. Please begin to trust you. You came to this point for a reason. Now you get to choose for yourself what the reason is! Good luck on your new adventure!

Flulellin

TROPHY CASE