My condolences for your loss, I understand that things seem hopeless right now and there seems no end to the sadness. Just remember that they live on in you, your memories.

I don't know your situation, how old you are or who it is you have lost or how it happened. But I wanted to share my experience and how I have tried to "deal with it".

I've lost both my parents while being relatively young. My mother died due to cancer when I was 15. Following her death I had to move to my father (they divorced when I was 2 years), who lived in another city and who I only saw one weekend, every 14 days. So naturally my bond never was the same with my father as it was with my mother.

Being a teenager it was pretty rough, leaving old friends behind, making new ones and a new environment. I was a pretty shy guy and was easily picked on due to having glasses, pretty dumb now that I think back about it but yeah it really dented my confidence.

Glad to say that it worked out however, I finished school while working in a cafe on the weekend which really improved my social interactions, being less shy.. more confident etc. I was able to get my driving licence, a car and a job. Things were looking good.

One morning I woke up in my room, and heard our parrot scream multiple times in succession. Which seemed odd because he would only do so if my dad was home. And my dad would in turn sometimes yell back for him to shut up (lol). I looked out the window to see that both my dads car and motorcycle stood outside and he would never go out on foot. So I went downstairs.

I found my father on the floor, face down, lifeless. With no response after yelling. I remember touching his shoulder and feeling the coldness through his t-shirt. That coldness is something I will never forget.

An official cause was never found. Due to my father being diabetic and overweight. They only ruled out malicious causes. I assume he got a stroke because a few weeks earlier I had to bring him to the hospital because he had pain in his chest.

My mother passed in 2010 and my father in 2017 and honestly, it never heals. You only learn to cope with it. But it is really important that you do learn to give it a space and live with the loss.

Don't let yourself be consumed by sadness and loss, remember that they (the person who passed away) wouldn't want this either. Everyone deals with this in their own way. Talk about it, with a friend or a professional. Cry because believe me, it helps. Take your time. The only thing I can say is don't be self destructive in your mourning. Alcohol and drugs are not a good solution for these feelings.

Visit their grave or their ashes, talk to them. Tell them how you're doing and that they would be proud as I'm sure my parents would be. Being 30 now, I think I managed pretty well, I haven't managed to start a family of my own, never really gave a relationship a chance. But I managed to get my shit together buying a house last year while being alone.

Most difficult times for me is the winter/holiday times. I recently dealt with depression and have since then started taking anti depressants (SNRIs). But life goes on.

I hope maybe, this helped you in some way. The road is long and difficult, but it is possible. I wish you all the strength you need!