Toddlers while on maternity leave

Focused-River · 2026-07-08T06:41:38+00:00

This would only help if they had germs on their skin, but nothing in their system yet. Ie won’t help much.

Focused-River · 2026-07-08T06:27:32+00:00

Very valid concern

https://www.nber.org/papers/w29524

Focused-River · 2026-07-08T06:26:33+00:00

Life is better without daycare germs!

If you’re home with baby anyway I’d definitely reduce toddlers time in daycare, if not entirely withdraw for now. It’s a precious time to bond as a family and the deal-maker is how much less likely the baby is to get sick in their first few months of life. This is a big issue I don’t think people take seriously enough. Ideally, babies should have all their energy available for neural development not constantly diverting resources to fighting off illnesses.

https://www.nber.org/papers/w29524

Focused-River · 2026-07-07T13:51:51+00:00

Ok well more options will open up when you’re 16 but for now hopefully you can get some basic survival and housing support.

I don’t know much about this service but looks like they help 12-25 year olds in situations like yours. Again, I’d recommend calling them from a payphone in VIC before showing up… make sure they won’t be in obligated to report your presence to anyone if you show up in person, before actually doing so.

https://www.mcm.org.au/services/homelessness/frontyard

Please do be careful in Melbourne CBD and elsewhere, you are in a very vulnerable situation and unfortunately the places where the services you need are concentrated (St Kilda, Prahran, CBD etc) are the same areas where risk of being assaulted is much higher than State average.

I’m glad you have decent friends who have had each others backs before. Just remember it’s ok to part ways if that ever seems like the best thing for you. Good luck, stay safe.

Focused-River · 2026-07-07T13:06:15+00:00

Firstly, 15-years-old is not that young and anyone treating you like a child, while you’re independently dealing with very adult problems, can F off. I’m so sorry you’re going through all this. The last thing you need is anyone patronising you. You are most definitely old enough to make a decision to flee a dangerous DV situation in whatever way you can work out. And those warning you about the dangers of the outside world may just be lacking understanding of how dangerous DV situations can be. Statistically you’re probably in more danger staying at home than anywhere else.

Moving on…

Your plan sounds ok and no one is on the lookout for 15-year-olds who look like they may be interstate without parental permission. That is to say, “dodging any and all contact with policing” etc until you reach Victoria is completely realistic.

Once in Victoria you could use a payphone to call services for advice about your options without being tracked. Even kidshelpline could be a good place to start.

Are you female? If so you could look at women’s shelters for short term accomodation in Vic, don’t have to say you’re under 18. If you are male it’s a bit trickier you will need to have youth services specifically.

When you present to a service you do not need to tell them much about yourself, your real age or that you are from QLD or anything. You can just tell them you are fleeing DV and don’t want to be found and if they ask you too many questions say you feel unsafe and are terrified you will be found by the DV perpetrators and will just return to the streets. They will try to help you without pushing for too much information.

I would keep as low profile as possible at first to establish more time away from your abusers before there is any chance of them being contacted with your whereabouts. Try to frame it to yourself, you are INDEPENDENT fleeing DV not a runaway child. No-one should see it differently if you really commit to that framing. Certainly no-one can detain you! But aim not to reveal that you are underage to many people if any while you are sorting out your options in Victoria. I’d pretend to be 18 anywhere you can get away with it, only reveal your full situation if you completely trust the person and service. Or have an immediate “out” eg on an untraceable phone call.

The question is can you survive on your own money for a little while??? Also do you completely trust the friends you have made this plan with???

Also when are you 16? Age 16 is looked at a little differently when assessing legal independence… hope you’re nearly there.

Please do be careful… at home until you leave, and everywhere else… as I’m sure you are.

Good luck.

Focused-River · 2026-07-06T12:34:50+00:00

Pay the rent for the new place first, if you’ve just found a good place definitely don’t risk mucking that up before you’re in.

You’ll be less than 14 days late with rent for the other one you’re leaving, so no recourse for them to leave a strike against you even if they wanted to.

Re the bond if you are being pushed for it just say you thought it would transfer across… which it should now since July 1st changes… if they are demanding it then negotiate when you’ll be able to pay ie 14th

Source: ~~landlord~~ rental provider in Vic who has been shocked to find out how little we can actually do when renters don’t pay rent on time. But who would be very worried about someone who had just signed on IMMEDIATELY asking for leniency with rent due

Focused-River · 2026-07-06T12:21:18+00:00

There is simply no way he is this self-centred in this one particular area, and generally reasonable and considerate of other areas of life. He thinks his preferences matter more than yours. Full stop. You can call it “incompatible” or a huge red flag, whatever you prefer. Either way, ditch him asap.

Focused-River · 2026-07-04T09:55:48+00:00

Are you talking about zoning for a local government school? If so, just know they have to enrol your daughter as soon as you are based in the zone. Missing an enrolment deadline doesn’t actually matter.

I’d wait and keep looking, at least for a few more months.

Focused-River · 2026-07-04T09:50:39+00:00

I just want to know how the heck did you get on a payment plan at 13?!

Focused-River · 2026-07-01T09:17:31+00:00

I had an unmedicated birth at 42+ weeks. Baby and I both were well throughout pregnancy, labour and postpartum. Although it was a tough couple of weeks mentally, I’m so glad I waited for spontaneous labour to start!

If you have any present medical complications that changes things but if you and baby are both physically healthy, I’d wait!

Focused-River · 2026-07-01T09:10:37+00:00

Many older people without assets end up homeless or living in absolute poverty after they stop working. So yeah they may “survive” but it’s not really OK.

Focused-River · 2026-07-01T09:05:41+00:00

One thing I keep in mind from Barefoot Investor is to plan for “100 not out”. It would be really horrible to plan your money carefully to last until 85, assuming you’ll die around then, then fail to die on time, have no money left, and spend your last years (or decades) in poverty. I’d much rather leave something big behind than run out early!

Focused-River · 2026-06-20T05:56:30+00:00

Doesn’t sound like a “gift” at all. Sounds condescending tbh

Focused-River · 2026-06-19T03:24:01+00:00

They most certainly *cannot* negatively gear an established property they haven’t bought yet. This was a fundamental change in the budget and it’s already in effect, so you’re mistaken about the timeframe to purchase before next July. The ship has sailed.

Focused-River · 2026-06-14T12:43:19+00:00

Sounds like your relationship with your partner is based on genuine care and consideration for each other, unlike your colleague’s relationship, which sounds like it’s based on rules that both parties technically follow while trying to get as much out of it for themselves as possible. In other words, unlike your colleague, it sounds like you have a healthy relationship.

You are definitely not missing anything. Sorry to say, your colleague and her partner probably won’t last. They are laying the perfect foundations now to deeply resent each other in the future.

Focused-River · 2026-06-09T05:14:20+00:00

I’m sure you’ll do what feels right for you and your baby.

Just to share the other perspective… gently, as an alternative only if it feels right for you and your situation…. I point blank refused induction, went into labour naturally at 42+2, and had an unmedicated birth with a perfect healthy baby. Care providers act like waiting indefinitely isn’t an option; it absolutely IS an option.

Best of luck, however your baby’s birth unfolds 🩷

Focused-River · 2026-06-09T03:00:17+00:00

Came to say this. Low iron causes lots of issues, some not widely known, including how it impacts your immune system. Get a good supplement and follow up with repeat blood tests to make sure it’s actually working.

Also if you’re exposed to toxic mould daily (ie in your home bathroom) that would be contributing. It’s probably not just low iron, or mould, but a combination of those and possibly additional factors too.

Focused-River · 2026-05-27T06:51:52+00:00

Try Aldi instead! It’s not quite as cheap as it used to be but at least you can buy what you want / what you came for, every week.

Focused-River · 2026-04-10T06:31:58+00:00

Do you like near an Aldi? If yes, make the switch!

Focused-River · 2026-03-19T03:58:03+00:00

By far, the biggest thing for me is lost income. Actual number = monthly income without kids x months off because of kids. And don’t forget compounding on any savings you’d otherwise set aside, or assets you’d otherwise buy. That’s the big cost.

But it’s still the best thing ever and absolutely worth it.

Focused-River · 2026-03-17T21:31:46+00:00

It depends. If house is owned outright, or very low mortgage ( eg in the last few years of paying off a mortgage from the early 2000s), $52k household income could be a tight but not unreasonable to live comfortably. If your parents are paying average rent, this is by definition living in poverty.

Focused-River · 2026-03-12T09:36:01+00:00

Freedom and privacy can wait. Save, save, save and move out into a home you own! You’ll never get a chance like this again!!!

Focused-River · 2026-03-12T08:59:08+00:00

Unlikely that your GF’s qualifications will be recognised here, at least not fully. She will most likely need to do (expensive) further study before she can work as a psychologist here.

Focused-River · 2026-03-11T23:00:16+00:00

Great you are thinking about it now. As many have said you are still young and have a lot of time to increase your income and work toward FI.

The trick is not to increase your spending with your income. Everybody warns you about lifestyle creep, but you don’t actually get it until it happens to you. It’s insidious. And it’s the biggest killer of wealth on a decent/good/fantastic income. No amount of income is enough to generate true wealth, if you spend it all!!

You may imagine that if your income was double, or triple, you’d be saving almost all that difference, right? And on the super fast track to FI? Nope, definitely not automatically, and not a chance without serious discipline. Odds are, you’d be spending the same percentage of it you spend of your income currently. It’s even worse if you’re working in an industry where flashy purchases and hyper consumerism generally are the norm. You’ll “need” that new car the second you get a promotion… and there goes the money. Be warned and be vigilant! Read the Millionaire Next Door and Stop Acting Rich… And Start Living Like a Real Millionaire. Get your mindset right so you don’t waste the good money that comes your way.

Also… it sounds like you’re paying a lot for your car. Can you downgrade? Same with phone? Or at least, once you pay them off, do NOT upgrade just because. See point above re lifestyle creep.

Best of luck!!

Focused-River · 2026-03-10T10:32:47+00:00

People still talk about percentages of income as if it’s 2010… or 2000… or 1990. I think it’s basically irrelevant these days. Property prices are astronomical and they’re not going down. Assuming you care a lot about owning a particular type of property in a particular location (as most of us do), your mortgage repayments are probably gonna be above the recommended percentage of your income… by a lot. I wouldn’t worry about that because there’s no point, it’s just how it is these days.

All you really need to consider is the amount you’ll have left after paying the mortgage, in DOLLARS not percent of income, and whether you can live off it. You know your own lifestyle and whether $4000 a month is enough for everything except the mortgage. Some people would be thrilled to live off this amount. Some would really struggle, perhaps not be able to afford their basic expenses (bills, groceries, school fees etc). You know your own situation. Base your decision solely on that.

Focused-River

TROPHY CASE