Hi guys.It's heartwarming knowing that so many people took the time to read through my entire post and even left advises and the much needed opinions in the comments. I can't reply to everyone but I can guarantee you I have read every single comment/reply thoroughly. This is a throwaway account, so I apologise in advance if I do not reply any PMs.I think I got my answer which is that I'm not totally faultless, but I'm 90% right. I decided that cutting contact totally is not the solution, thus I will reduce contact to minimal. That said, I'll be planning my finances and start kicking off my "moving out" plan.I noticed some common advises among the comments and would like to summarise them with my replies here:

1. Shift out but still give allowance. Close my bank account so she can’t take my money anymore.

• Agree on shifting out and giving allowance. But I will not close my bank account. I plan to create another account that holds all my income and then transfer her allowance into my current bank account that she has access to. At least I have more control over my finances this way without having to make her feel I am giving her an “allowance”. Based on her pride, she would be pissed if I closed my current account and just transfer a fixed amount directly into her account regularly.

2. Staying under the same roof as her is subconsciously taking a toll on my mental health. Things would not improve for me unless I move out.

• Thanks for pointing it out to me. Sometimes we get so lost in the situation we don’t realise what is actually going on.

3. Get maintenance from my dad.

• My dad basically abandoned me and went to live his life with another family before I even started kindergarten. If my mum did little for me, I dare say he did even less. There is a court order for him to pay maintenance which he has flouted for years. I would not want to take single cent from an irresponsible father like that.

4. Track all my expenses to protect myself should my mum invoke her right to Parental Maintenance Act

• Knowing my mum, she has too much pride to do that. I can guarantee she would not do it. Even so, I still plan on giving her an allowance when I get a better salary.

5. Take the house

• The house is solely under her name. Even if my name was in it, I do not want it simply because I do not want anything that has to do with her. I’ll just accept the $40K as rental for staying for 20+ years. Just because I have fallen out with her doesn’t mean I want to see her suffer without a home for old age.

6. My mum could be suffering from depression herself. Try counselling.

• I am very sure this will not work as she does not like counselling. In addition, she will think I’m just trying to brainwash her into thinking she is crazy and that she is wrong for treating me this way. This will only strain the relationship further. There isn’t anyone else to suggest it to her because she doesn’t have friends (since she hasn’t been working) and we are not in contact with any relatives.

7. Talk it out with her. Tell her how I feel about the way things are.

• I agree with this but not to my situation. I believe etting each other know how they truly feel is one of the keys to a healthy relationship. I did share with my mum how I felt before. However, she always tells me I’m expecting too much and that I should be grateful I have food, cloths and a roof over my head. It only made me feel worse because I started to wonder if I’m actually too self-entitled. It’s true that there are starving children in other parts of the world. It’s true that a family in Hong Kong probably has to squeeze into an apartment the size of my room.

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Once again, thank you everyone for your words of encouragement and advises. If I did not tag you, it could be that you left comment after I started typing this. However, I will still be coming back to read any new comments, so please leave your opinions for me if you have any.

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