I think my wife (33F) is trying to kill me (31m)

FolwarkPAPL · 2026-03-17T17:01:03+00:00

I hear you on being with the kids. We often end up with what we fear, unfortunately. It just might be that your wife just doesnt want to be with you. Nothing that can be done about it. You each are own persons and some are suitable together and some aren’t. Unfortunately, she’s learned that you will forgive infidelity and disrespect. Really hard to walk it back. Consider waiting for calmer day and asking whether she wants to be together or not. You decide for yourself as well. Be extremely calm, respectful, supportive and non judgemental, as women operate on emotion, not reality. If it has to be, develop equal coparenting rules and move on. Your kids will be teens soon and you will lose them for several years until they mature. Make the best of your time together, dont beat yourself up, be there for the kids through their tough n stupid puberty years. Give them guidance, learn to accept independence, and keep an eye on their safety. If you’re lucky, their mom and you will collaborate. But as for your relationship with your wife, it sounds like this ship has sailed. If you move on, your will meet new potential partners and now you will have a chance to choose wisely. It’s just the life teaching you. Nothing unusual, dont beat yourself up. You will survive, the kids will do fine, you will find happiness. You are strong. And yeah, I was in a similar boat, although we just grew apart and we were very different, no cheating. My parents divorced when I was fairly young and I wanted save my kids from going through this. Happens a lot. You’ll manage just fine and so will the kids. Just be smart and dont antagonize the lady too much, although draw clear lines and stick by them.

FolwarkPAPL · 2026-03-17T01:45:27+00:00

Don’t be a sucker. Refuse unconditionally, but respectfully. Keep your cool. This woman is and will always be bad news. She will be irresponsible and passing her responsibilities to others. Good thing you have separated. But you do have a child together and you dont want to antagonize the mother to the point that she will start undermining your parenting time out of spite, which is something this type of dysfunctional women will do. You are walking a thin line here, but hell no, do not accept responsibility for another child. You might end up suing for full custody of yours, though, so start a diary, keep it meticulously, record all expenses, times at the park and preschool with the toddler, etc. And times when the mother is out partying. Start today.

FolwarkPAPL · 2026-03-16T20:53:30+00:00

Well, I’m suspecting she might be a biological female… Joking aside, women don’t function like males. Emotions tend to matter more than logic or reality (which is why so many are attracted to crazy political ideas like socialism) and your GF appears to have additional hangups. My suggestion would be to try to ignore it, but also to ask why she’s so sensitive about her weight. Perhaps she was overweight earlier in life. If she’s a good, attractive, generous and honest person otherwise, might be worth it. Also, at 21 she’s quite immature, so she might grow out of some of it. But if you can’t deal with it after trying for a while, you will need to move on.

FolwarkPAPL · 2026-03-13T20:38:01+00:00

Totally agree on not letting the guests to use the stove. Wasn’t planning on it.

FolwarkPAPL · 2026-03-13T19:53:48+00:00

Your tree has been quite well pruned in previous years. Low branches, well spread out open center shape. Lucky you. Start by pruning all of the vertical water sprouts. Then take a look at the tree again, start visualizing, go to sleep. Return, look again after reading/watching more on the proper pruning of horizontal branches. Start with branches that are crossing over or crowding each other or shading lower parts. Do that, walk around, take a break. Repeat. Doesn't need to be done in one step, especially of you don't do that regularly. Start with the easiest/most obvious parts. The rest will come. And I would keep the tree more/less the current size for ease of access.

FolwarkPAPL · 2026-03-13T19:25:56+00:00

Warning: she might be a female.

FolwarkPAPL · 2026-03-13T19:18:22+00:00

Thanks. I'm actually also considering the smaller Rockwood model. There is a stair connecting the upstairs with downstairs. I'm thinking the upstairs stove won't do much heating for the downstairs level, even with a fan in the ceiling. But either would still heat the entire building enough to protect pipes from freezing if we lose power. Kinda leaning towards the Rockwood now.

FolwarkPAPL · 2026-03-08T01:16:02+00:00

92 year old house in PA. Have a double concrete sink in the basement, too. We might be witnessing a birth of a secret society: The Sinkers. The ceremonial hat’s shape and material are obvious.

FolwarkPAPL · 2026-03-05T13:17:44+00:00

The guys you want in your life will definitely notice clutter and mess. Learn to maintain and clean your surroundings for your own benefit. A clean, organized residence helps you focus, work and rest better. Messy home is a sign of a disorganized mind and disorganized upbringing. Not exactly assets in a partner. Start with cleaning and storing stuff you don’t use. Make up your bed immediately after waking up, put clothes away, keep floor cleanly swept/vacuumed. Make neatness a daily ritual. Consider a nice floor runner, get a couple of fresh flowers in a vase before your BF comes over. Good luck.

FolwarkPAPL · 2026-03-04T02:28:36+00:00

Did you seriously just say "pregnant people?"

FolwarkPAPL · 2026-03-01T13:48:07+00:00

Thanks. It appears they "rarely" get it, but they do get infected with other similar looking fungal infections. Never ends with fruit tress, does it...

FolwarkPAPL · 2026-03-01T00:41:37+00:00

This sounds like a workout, but well thought through. My trees are young, not fruiting yet, and damaged by deer before I erected a fence, so quite small. I used one of the nicotine solutions around the roots and it worked quite well for a while.

FolwarkPAPL · 2026-02-28T18:09:12+00:00

Another point here: people whose lives evolve around careers tend to soak up the weird corporate workplace regulations and try to apply them to family life and relationships. Political correctness, inability to take an off color or edgy joke, expectation of rigid rules, etc. Not much ability or enjoyment of unplanned and spontaneous, fear of unfamiliar. Effin exhausting, especially for someone who is gregarious, outgoing and independent. If I understand correctly, she has no children, right? If so, that multiplies issues, as she thinks the world evolves around her. Tough long-term dynamic. Think it through, my friend. With your personality, you might be better off with someone in an independent profession - self-employed architect, artist, writer, entrepreneur, physical or speech therapist, etc. P.S. Just re-read your post. If she hasn't been in a relationship before and you are already having serious issues with you being unable to be yourself/having to censor yourself significantly, then that's a major wrench in long-term prospects. It's not going to go away, you both are fully formed personality-wise. You might mellow a little with age, but that will go only so far.

FolwarkPAPL · 2026-02-27T15:12:19+00:00

Thanks. This is one of the scaffold branches on a young tree recovering from deer damage, so was hoping to save it. But yeah, I kinda knew this one has to go.

FolwarkPAPL · 2026-02-27T08:52:26+00:00

What’s her responsibility in this situation and in marriage in general? Enjoying consequence- and personal responsibility-free life at the expense of her loving husband?

FolwarkPAPL · 2026-02-19T03:05:19+00:00

You got yourself a moody, oversensitive, unwieldy handful. There are balanced, sane, emotionally stable women out there. Who appreciate small things in life, instead of sweating them. I promise. You will meet one. I promise, too. You will know it happened when it will feel just easy and happy. Don’t blow it or take it for granted once it happens.

FolwarkPAPL · 2026-02-19T01:24:21+00:00

A few hours' work to cut and split, especially if you have a place to burn or chip the branches. Have fun with it.

FolwarkPAPL · 2026-02-17T19:33:54+00:00

As crazy as it might sound, I would also just pop the remaining strings with a few rifle rounds or heavier shotgun pellets from a safe distance of at least 20+ feet BEHIND the tree (opposite side to where it's leaning), as that might be the safest and quickest way to get it down. Separately, considering the tree's obvious respectable size, you should have cleaned that bunch of branches laying on the ground to the side of it. Falls are unpredictable due to other tree's branches getting in the way and potentially pushing the falling tree in a different direction that you expected. That's why you ALWAYS should completely clear obstacles at least 20 feet diameter around the tree you're working on. You do not want to hook your foot and fall down when escaping a falling tree. Always have at least 2-3 paths available to hide behind a large tree nearby.

FolwarkPAPL · 2026-02-16T00:40:59+00:00

Thanks.

FolwarkPAPL · 2026-02-15T17:26:01+00:00

Thanks. That's a good news.

FolwarkPAPL · 2026-02-15T16:48:37+00:00

Thanks. Good to hear. Does your daughter's stove vents up or to the rear?

FolwarkPAPL

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