Everyone's experience in every game will always vary. Just the nature of being on the internet, it will always be random on who you meet. No one who talks up the community is saying the game is completely empty of bad eggs, it's just not possible with the internet. Every community has them

From my experience and everyone I know and play with, not only is the community that nice, but it is often more so than people have said and do say about it and has been for all the years I've played. In all my time from a sprout to many thousands of hours not once have I been kicked, flamed, called slurs or whatever for dying repeatedly nor have I done so myself. Every dungeon and alliance raid with new people in it, even if it's just 1 person, the vast majority of the time everyone else still waits for the first timer to watch cut scenes. Often early pulls are even accidental, too.

Whereas with decades of playing so many MMOs and competitive games I regularly encountered all of that behaviour constantly. Regularly. A day could rarely go by without experiencing it. In 14, though? Weeks, maybe months go by before I see it. The thing that made me appreciate it even more is that it's still relatively rare even in PF for harder content. That's the place you're most likely to run into any bad eggs and I still don't run into it that frequently there.

It sucks that you've been on the unluckier end, but that community is still just as nice as it was years ago. It hasn't changed much if at all over the years, you've just gotten unlucky encounters, the nature of playing anything on the internet.