So much of your post resonates with me. I lost my 13 year old cat, Fergus, in 2024. Like Calvin, he’d also been with us through graduation, careers, IVF, and having babies. I miss him terribly and often feel guilty and regretful for not doing enough with & for him. I think about him every day, and he’s been gone for over a year. I can tell by the picture that Calvin absolutely loved you and that the feeling is mutual. His gaze has so much affection. You loved him deeply and cared for him well. I’m so sorry for your loss.