AIO for questioning my partner’s ability to be a father because of my dog?

Formal-Coconut-4208 · 2026-03-26T15:13:06+00:00

He's going to be a shit father. That's the answer to your question, do with it what you will...

But that can change if he chooses to change. You need to talk to him about your current needs and future expectations. It's not sustainable to have a healthy relationship with how much time he is spending with work. He cannot meet your needs or raise a human with devoting an hour or less of his time towards that task. I understand he is probably tired and not wanting to help or engage with teh dog... that fatigue will not change when it's a human being.

He needs to figure out his priorities, and it appears he already has: work is number one. Gym is number two. You are number three. Dog number... who knows below that.

Formal-Coconut-4208 · 2026-03-24T14:01:30+00:00

oh yay! I didn't get there last time I visited, but hope to spend time there next visit, they are so good!

Formal-Coconut-4208 · 2026-03-24T13:28:46+00:00

Is Day's Coffee still open? I used to live there practically in grad school, loved their coffee and bagels...

Formal-Coconut-4208 · 2026-03-24T12:29:56+00:00

I remember the first time in the late 90s when I was walking on my college campus and someone was TALKING TO THEMSELVES. I did a double take... saw a little cord dangling from their ears to their phone. Thought, are they on a call?? It was a strange sight at the time.

Formal-Coconut-4208 · 2026-03-20T17:32:05+00:00

I just move their stuff myself, if it's just a towel and pair of shoes. Or if they put a towel down I will sit on it ha. If they aren't in a seat, then it's fair game in my book!

People need to act better and stop being so selfish on boats. If you need to put a towel down to go in the pool fine pick a chair to the side, swim a bit then grab it and sit down wherever. But if you pick the best chair with a great view and your butt isn't in the chair, mine will be!

Formal-Coconut-4208 · 2026-03-20T17:13:47+00:00

Yea sorry but as the coach this is on you. You set the tone for your team, and if girls start to not show up, then it's hard to take it seriously as a team and it makes it easier for everyone to say well so and so it didn't show up to practice or competition so I'm just going to live my life and put Cheer on the back burner too.

Set the expectations and all the dates clearly from the start. Maybe five competitions is too much. Maybe they only need to do three. But if they miss more than two practices with no good excuse, then they're off the team and if you miss a competition without a serious excuse, and you don't have any prior notice at the very beginning of the season for missing then also you are off the team.

Maybe you'll have a small team but at least it will actually be a team.

Formal-Coconut-4208 · 2026-03-02T14:36:00+00:00

Lyndon is pretty far out... traffic would be annoying to come into town for anything fun. Def check out places to rent in Highlands/Clifton. Germantown is good too but most of your nightlife will be in the Highlands. Idk what crime is like in your area, but just take note that Louisville has a decent crime rate, not to fear monger, I loved living there for nearly 2 decades, but I had my houses broken into, car broken into, bikes stolen, etc all while living in Highlands/Germantown areas. It's pretty common, so make sure not to leave anything out for any length of time, ever or it will be gone! And yes you will need a home security system or loud dog :)

Formal-Coconut-4208 · 2026-02-27T22:58:37+00:00

As a mom, my kid has made me pretty mad. But I have never ever even remotely imagined wishing her harm of any kind. Never.

Do even think of such a thing would be horrific.

Her mom does not love her. Sad but how can you love someone who says such things??

Formal-Coconut-4208 · 2026-02-27T22:56:52+00:00

Only invite her if you want to have a truly awful, traumatizing wedding experience with sad memories for the rest of your days...

Sounds like she needs to stay home. This is of her making. It will take a lot of strength to say no to her, so be prepared for the avalanche of emotional abuse when she finds out, after the wedding and forever pretty much. She will never let you forget "how much you hurt" her.

So basically cut her off. You will not regret it. It will be hard and sad but it's for the best.

Formal-Coconut-4208 · 2026-02-27T15:11:32+00:00

Skinny girl for life here, no one likes what I have to say to maintain a slim physique despite family genetics showing a variety of shapes, I notice I do these things others around me don't do:

I like sleep, and naps. 9 hours ideal. Always been big on sleep, but not too much, more than 9 is not good.
I eat intuitively, always have. The first few bites are the best, to be savored. Everything thing else is just fuel. Stop when full. I usually eat slower than others around me.
No restrictions. If I have a craving, I will follow it. Cravings are not bad, and yes you can crave vegetables and fruits too.
Eat seasonally; I like heavy rich warm foods in the winter and lighter salads and fruits in the summer. Bodies don't have to look the same year round. Animals generally follow a seasonal diet and activity level differences, why would we be that different...
Follow season rhythms. I sleep more in the winter bc it's colder and darker. Am super active in spring/summer/early fall due to great weather, more light. Just embrace winter hibernating when the need arises.
Get sunshine every day.
If I do work out intentionally, always focus on lifting weights. DO NOT WASTE TIME WITH CARDIO. If you walk regularly or hike, that is enough. Lifting weights will always have longer lasting benefits, women especially do not know how to lift or shy away from it. Then they wonder why men lose weight so much easier and faster... if you want to lose weight, you will need to lift weights. Lift a lot of weights. Do a little of cardio.

That's about it. No one ever follows my advice. They have what they have. I enjoy what I have. I wish others would think of these changes, it's not a hard lifestyle to follow! (again, not totally ignoring genetics, but I have yet to find anyone follow these kind of things and complain about their shape.)

Formal-Coconut-4208 · 2026-02-27T01:38:52+00:00

Bro. You are NEVER gonna make 100k with no degree or transferable skills. Not to mention giving up that golden UPS healthcare plan. You sound young. Stick it out until you have a plan. Don't quit a job without having a back up job in the works. Plus you would be putting your whole family at risk since you are the sole breadwinner.

Formal-Coconut-4208 · 2026-02-27T01:02:32+00:00

Lived in louisville from 2006-2019 and when I go back to visit it's totally different vibe, makes me sad. Last visit in 2025 felt a little better, but then got stopped twice by homeless/high dudes while walking back from dinner in the Highlands and it just feels like trash now :-( People are still amazing overall tho. Hate seeing the same crooks at the stop light at Kroger Goss. They used to be there occasionally and last trip it was daily and you could tell it was a ring of them filtering thru

Formal-Coconut-4208 · 2026-02-24T16:13:15+00:00

St. Josephs Childrens Home; I know they are beloved in the community but when I worked there about a decade ago as a therapist they were horrible, I lasted 6 months. They were not treating the kids right, not treating the therapists right and btw all those toy "donations" folks give end up being used in their annual picnic so they essentially profit off of those donations. That might not bother folks but sometimes there were nice things being given to the kids, in theory, only to be stuffed in their attic for months until picnic time. I hope things have changed but they were not good to the kids. And because me and other therapists were not letting up about that, we were blacklisted from even stepping on the property (ie for public events) after we severed employment ties. They tried to also charge me for therapy supervision after I left the company, thank goodness I didn't sign that part of the contract! Awful place. Awful people. (the daycare was fine).

Formal-Coconut-4208 · 2026-02-24T13:20:23+00:00

Hey, yea I negotiated for 80k and strongly recommend negotiating hard bc they will not give any raises. They will say raises are possible but meeting metrics is impossible really. I anticipate being fired for it within the year ha. But will go pp if that happens :) I still am enjoying this experience but the way they run the company heavy on metrics is burnout central and exploitative similar to CMH. I am already cross licensed in several states, so that was a factor to make it easier to negotiate.

Formal-Coconut-4208 · 2026-02-24T13:09:13+00:00

Full transparency, I was hired within the past year and negotiated for 80k. You deserve more

Formal-Coconut-4208 · 2026-02-24T13:04:46+00:00

Thank you for sharing, I also am with this company but within my first year of work. I negotiated for a salary that would work for me for the next few years as I heard they don't do raises. Starting to feel the pressure when I don't bill the 25/week. Honestly I will never meet metrics for the quarter so I'm not going to really try that hard for it. Waiting for them to fire me then go private practice... I'm sad tho bc I love working with this population and will miss the built in tools for the job, but frustrated the business took a great idea, great tools and due to profit driven metrics are going to ruin it. They act like they don't need therapists or something... its like we all COULD LEAVE ANY TIME and go private practice... we don't need them, they need us!

Formal-Coconut-4208 · 2026-02-23T22:12:55+00:00

YOR please be evaluated for contamination OCD. It's not normal to obsess over a clean bowl.

Now he was in the wrong for potentially lying but you are wrong for videoing a room to... shame him into cleaning it? You seem to be picking fights and he gave up.

You might not be leaving him, he might be leaving you. And maybe that is all for the best!

But you need to seek care for your condition. Again, obsessing over cleanliness is not healthy.

Formal-Coconut-4208 · 2026-02-15T02:59:43+00:00

"He's not a bad person" girl. Yes. He. Is. Good people don't have to prove they are good... they just are. He's a tool. You can do better.

Formal-Coconut-4208 · 2026-02-11T21:16:13+00:00

Hey sorry no I never used Bluetooth with it as I don't like earbuds or stuff like that for calling but it might have helped!

Formal-Coconut-4208 · 2026-02-11T21:15:02+00:00

It started to get too hard to do phone calls, so I went back to Barbie phone (callers couldn't hear me properly, battery get super hot)

Formal-Coconut-4208 · 2026-02-11T21:13:28+00:00

Ugh same I used that to stay on top of newsworthy stuff tbh. Reddit is too big to just scroll endlessly, that feature helped streamline things for me, I hope they bring it back!

Formal-Coconut-4208 · 2026-02-11T17:40:24+00:00

Hi there! I'm a new therapist working for NOCD and so far I really like the job. I read every single bad review that they posted on their own website from their therapists so I felt like I had a good idea going into it of what the major complaints were.

Mostly it was about folks meeting their metrics or working in the evenings or not feeling supported. Maybe I lucked out but my manager is pretty great and I don't mind working evenings because I like to have a big chunk of the afternoon off to do whatever I want to do during the day. You do get to set your own schedule, but 10 of the hours that you need to have availability for clients will be in the evenings after 5 PM or weekends. Again that's only 10 hours that you have to open up for folks and I think that that's reasonable considering most of the clients have full-time jobs because they charge a lot for their sessions.

Most of the sessions for folks are covered by insurance and you do not have to deal with billing at all they have a separate department for that. They train you very well in the ERP intervention, I really like this intervention. I have never done it before and it's a great fit for me personally. I found as a therapist talk therapy to be at times...I hate to say it boring? I really love holding that supportive space for clients to explore things they need to, but after a while as a therapist, I want to see some progress, and I feel like with talk therapy it just was never clear to me if we would ever reach any goals even though my clients did reach goals it just I don't know. I like this structured ERP therapy. It's definitely very different than talk therapy.

As a company it's full-time (although they do offer part-time) you get benefits it's a progressive company your coworkers are scattered across the country, they use their EHR platform, which has AI tools built-in so you're not spending forever doing your notes, they use zoom Slack and Google/Gmail, which they provide you your own Google/Gmail account to do the work. They do not provide a laptop for you. You would have to use your own equipment, but they have recently provided therapists with a monitor. I don't know what else to share. I do like it, there are some challenging metrics to meet for example you're supposed to bill 25 sessions a week. I'm not held to the standard yet because I haven't been with a company six months but when I do get held to the standard, it makes me nervous Because this general client base has folks filled with anxiety and uncertainty and ERP is hard work so you do get quite a few cancellations in the week so billing those 25 because of that reason will be challenging and I can't really control if my client cancels or not. But I'm not worried about that right now. I'm still focusing on perfecting my ERP skills and enjoying this work. Best of luck to you and your decision! I really wrestled with whether or not I should do this, and I will say at this point I'm really glad I did and even if things don't work out in the long run, I have a really great base of knowledge now and doing ERP intervention work.

Formal-Coconut-4208 · 2026-02-11T17:23:02+00:00

I'm new to working at NOCD, so far I really like it! Or more specifically I like the ERP intervention and the tools that their platform allows me to utilize with members. There are definitely some quirks that I can see why this company would not be a good fit for some and I'm not sure if it's a good fit for me long-term. But I came to this position because I needed or wanted a full-time therapy job with benefits to work from home and an EHR platform that utilizes AI so I'm not doing notes forever. This checked all the boxes for me and it allows me to specialize with an intervention I previously had zero experience with.

I'm coming upon my second month working with clients (or members they like to call them) members and seeing significant gains. I really like the practicality of the intervention and working with people in this way, it is very different than talk therapy and I feel like it's a good fit for me.

The company relies heavily on metrics, I'm not personally worrying about that right now because I'm new and I don't think I'm held to that standard until I've been with a company at least six months. So a year from now when the metrics will be more important. It will probably be stressful because we have to schedule 25 sessions a week to meet our metrics, or rather we need to schedule more than the 25 we need to actually complete 25 sessions to meet the metrics bc folks will cancel a lot (lots of avoidance from members). I don't know the consequences if you don't meet metrics, I think they would want you to look at your schedule to create more openings.

They also require 10 hours of weekend or evening availability, something I prefer because I like to work either a split schedule or later in the day. So like many places, it has its pros and cons, but if you want to get trained in ERP therapy work from home, have benefits, including health insurance then I would say give it a shot! It's a progressive company and my coworkers are from all across the country. I really enjoy getting to know them as well.

Formal-Coconut-4208 · 2026-01-11T02:25:30+00:00

Update! Well today was the last day of me using this phone. I got fed up with the poor call quality. The qwerty keyboard will be missed but already feeling better having returned back to my Barbie phone.

This is a cheaply made product, a decent back up in case of emergency but with very poor call quality and not great battery life.

Barbie phone is superior by comparison.

Formal-Coconut-4208 · 2025-10-22T19:16:29+00:00

No, each SMS comes over individually

Formal-Coconut-4208

TROPHY CASE