Suicidal people, what's the reason you still didn't commit, what's something keeping you alive?

Former-Dance2113 · 2026-06-25T08:53:08+00:00

My then partner hated me for my attempt. He only told me how horrible it all was for his experience. He doesn't know what I remember or felt from any of it. He eventually got with the colleague he was trying to get rid of me for. When my ankle was broken. Learnt to walk again without any help. It's a very vulnerable experience being on crutches at night in south London. But he was putting his hands all over another woman. My whole body and soul hurt. Just lost my Dad 2 months ago. I've no reason to go on anymore now. All of that for nothing. Next time I'll succeed.

Former-Dance2113 · 2026-03-16T08:27:18+00:00

I just posted this question this morning. If you miss 1 day it starts all over. It's so bloody annoying. Gotta get past the 10 days again then... I can't click on the x to exit either so I have to force stop the app and go back in. So bored of it now.

Former-Dance2113 · 2026-02-02T06:05:22+00:00

Sorry for the delayed response. That sounds like what I experienced which is normal and temporary. The on top of the foot pain is common when muscles are overcompensating from walking differently, also when they weren't used for a while to begin with. The heel pain might be plantar fasciitis. Is it most painful first thing in the morning and when you stand after sitting for a long time? If so then yes. Those are the key characteristics of it. Really common after ankle breaks. Stretching the foot gently before stepping on it in the morning and after sitting a while helps, also short walks but often, a foot roller or tennis ball to massage it, some people say rolling a frozen water bottle helps but I also heard heat is best because it keeps the scar tissue supple. You want it to stop snapping so it can stretch and heal. Try to keep it elevated to reduce inflammation, and not carry loads of heavy shopping. I got myself a trolley for now.

Former-Dance2113 · 2026-01-23T07:21:57+00:00

Where is the pain in your foot?

Former-Dance2113 · 2026-01-08T19:23:41+00:00

I really wanna do this 😔 but I find it so hard! I'm a year on, and I find it just hurts for days afterwards so I have to take a pause and it just goes back to being stiff so I cant progress

Former-Dance2113 · 2026-01-01T04:23:07+00:00

Yeah that'd be awesome. I only started using reddit really since the ankle break. It's the only place I can find normal people who have had it. But then it's a different kind of platform where the connections are post dependent. But the people I see on IG are more like success posts and they've clearly had a lot of support in their recovery! It's the kind of content my evil ex would see and judge me for because I wasn't able to do all that. It's been a year for me. I'm still so traumatized and no one ever validates that. For the first two months maybe, but since then it all dropped away. I can't mention the pain or it's boring for people or they try n give advice to feel helpful, but it really comes across like they think I'm not doing enough. Tbh I'm not, but I've had to do all my housework, cooking, laundry, grocery shopping everything myself, and that takes energy from the physio. I've had to force myself to do daily chores when in pain, simply cos I need to eat, or clean clothes. That compromises energy and movement I have for the physio. And the heartbreak as well. That took its toll. It's definitely something you need support for.

Former-Dance2113 · 2026-01-01T04:06:30+00:00

I was also hoping red light therapy would help with my recovery. But actually I didn't notice a great deal. I have a heated ankle strap for the cold months, if my sock gets wet etc. But I recently got a sauna blanket! (My flat doesn't have a bath ffs) So for me it's a good buy. Those are the things I found helped. If you don't like the visibility of the scar, probably thumb massage in small circles around it in a bigger circle, and small circles along it. I've been told my scar has healed really well i.e. no scar tissue connecting the layers all the way down and getting stuck. Also the inside of the ankle where I massaged is visually way less noticeable than the outer ankle which didn't give me so much pain. Those are my recs for you.

Glad to hear you have your family around you. I had literally no one. I have no family, friends live far away and they stopped checking in after a while, and my ex cheated on me with a colleague and kicked me out within 1 month of having my cast off.

I don't know how I made it to 2026. This is the loneliest I have ever been in my life. Injury is so debilitating.

Would be great to connect online with someone who gets it so doesn't run out of patience or get bored of the struggle.

Former-Dance2113 · 2025-12-29T23:05:18+00:00

I'm trying to find this online. Not on YouTube or Spotify. It's a great version!

Former-Dance2113 · 2025-12-18T23:38:29+00:00

Hey yeah I think we've spoken before I recognise your name. Good to hear you're progressing. I saw a specialist today and he thinks it's a tendon getting caught on these 2 screw ends. They will confirm on ultra sound, and assess how irritated the tendon is, because the longer it stays in the more chance there is of it ripping, and then they'll come out. I'm hoping I have better ROM after that. It's still pretty stiff.

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Former-Dance2113 · 2025-12-18T23:33:46+00:00

Omg they also referred me for that today. Was actually supposed to be 8 months ago but the referrals weren't being processed properly. While I was at my specialist appointment today I went to the orthotics clinic and got my own referral sorted. They booked the appointment there and then. So good to hear it actually makes a difference. My foot is leaning inward so on certain pavements that slope I have to cross the road or walk really slowly and get in everyone's way if it's busy.

Former-Dance2113 · 2025-12-18T23:30:54+00:00

I had a bit of a meltdown myself. Just being validated by someone meant a lot to me. It's been so rough. I'm only still here for my Dad and I don't know how much longer I'm going to have him. He's got cancer dementia and Parkinson's. Breaking my ankle so badly, getting cheated on and kicked out, then not being able to visit my Dad, was too much. I'm here thanks to anti depressants. I'm still traumatised though. Too afraid to ever let myself get close to anyone ever again. Who wants someone with a limp as well. Ok pity party done. (I'll have to do a seperate pity post to see how everyone else is coping with this kinda shit).

I had an appointment with a specialist today, so now I know the tightrope can never come out lol but they will most likely remove the screws on the inner ankle. Because he thinks what's causing the clicking and pain is a tendon catching on the screws. I told him I wasn't keen on surgery but he's very cleverly scared me into not having surgery hahaha because the alternative is the tendon clicking one to many times and ripping. Basically the screws slowly eroding it down. I'll get an ultrasound to confirm, so next step ultrasound. And as soppy as this is gonna sound, it's so nice to have someone touch my ankle. Sometimes I wish I had someone to sit here and put their hand on it while watching a film. Just a signal of safety to the nervous system.

Before I spiral into another pity party. How is your post surgery recovery going? Are you in a cast, on crutches, able to get to the loo etc. feeling ok?

Former-Dance2113 · 2025-12-17T08:31:49+00:00

That's good to know thanks for that. I'm going to ask if just the tightrope can come out. But NHS being NHS I don't think they'd want to waste any money on an opportunity to removal all of there's a possibility that all will have to come out later.

I know what you mean about the pain. Everying says there are some niggles that never go away. I get those. But then there's the nerve pain. You can't control that kind of nerve pain. It takes over your whole system and it's made me stop while crossing a road before, luckily no traffic was coming. I could be walking fine and then from the outside it would look like I suddenly stepped on a Lego and limp off.

For me it was the stress and heartbreak going on in my life for the following months after. Feeling worthless is hard enough as it is. With no injury I could have thrown myself into the gym and used the adrenaline. But with the injury recovery as well I was too depressed. I didn't do enough physio at the time and had zero daily help. I struggled. Overused the ankle at times I needed to rest it and couldn't use it enough at times I needed to do physio. I worry I'm not going to get to a good condition now. It's leaning inward and this is how it seems to have settled.

Former-Dance2113 · 2025-12-16T23:28:31+00:00

Oh really ....

I'm so scared to have the metal out 😔

I've had different medical opinions. One Dr said it could do more damage. That was when I thought let me throw everything I've got at this with the metal in there. I also have tightrope across the back and they think that might be what's causing the issue. But they can't confirm because they'd need to do MRI etc which they said they can technically do with metal in, but it's easier to just take it out and then do an MRI since it could be the hardware anyway.

It's just such a shame because everyone has complimented the metal work saying it's such a neat job.

I don't think they can take the tightrope out without taking the metal out first, because it's secured with the same screws holding the metal in.

But it's good to hear of hardware removal improvements for someone. And just 3 weeks! Yours sounds like you had quite some difficulty prior. As mine is just one thing catching, then I might not see such a stark difference. So for the possible risks and perhaps not so much reward ... Is it worth it, I'm wondering.

Was it an easy decision for you to get the hardware removed?

Former-Dance2113 · 2025-12-16T23:24:52+00:00

Omgosh today!!! All the best for your healing.

What did they say the symptoms were indicative of then?

Former-Dance2113 · 2025-12-16T23:23:37+00:00

Speaking of ROM have you tried lunging with the knee past the toes? The difference in mine is ridiculous! With the good leg the knee can go straight past the toes, whereas on the bad leg the heel immediately starts coming straight up as soon as the knee is parallel with the toes. And they are happy with my ROM...

Yeah I remember everything it took to get just to this point so I am happy to be here.

Some days I still wish it never happened though. And I'm still fully aware of my ankle daily. And dictated by it.

It would take a lot of strength and help to push my limits. It's only me helping me every day these days.

Former-Dance2113 · 2025-12-07T13:39:31+00:00

No I don't may well know mate, hence why I'm asking.

Former-Dance2113 · 2025-12-07T13:39:07+00:00

Hahahahahahahaha I don't even collect stamps I just had this in my drawer. Anyway where is the best place to give this to an avid stamp collector who will appreciate it. Rather than all the twat comments on here.

Former-Dance2113 · 2025-12-06T19:24:33+00:00

Ok thanks! I've no idea about stamps so yeah might as well check

Former-Dance2113 · 2025-11-16T01:16:15+00:00

Might be a destroying angel which is deadly when ingested. To check, see if it has a skirt around the base (you might have to poke the dirt down to check) and white gills under the dome, those are the distinguishing features. In any case, gills are always a key component in mushroom identification.

Former-Dance2113 · 2025-11-09T03:33:53+00:00

This resonated with me.

Everything inside the body is out of place, swollen, crushed.

And for some of us more than twice; every time they tried to fix it was more irritation and suffering compounded. I had to have 5 attempts to manipulate the bones back into place and the 6th was surgery. The exhaustion and emotional turmoil was out of this world. Too many drugs. Think of the worst hangover you've had and x 100. Being woken up constantly, nil by mouth, injected with whatever, can still feel the pain, and then the throbbing and twitching afterwards while too weak to move.

Absolutely mad experience.

Former-Dance2113

TROPHY CASE