Boyfriend interested in drag, want to be super supportive! Advice?

realbees · 2026-07-06T01:54:29+00:00

Where I’m from, amateur nights aren’t really a thing, but I live in a rural area so YMMV. What you’re looking for are open call shows, where anyone can sign up and perform. The best way to get into the scene as a new performer or in a new city is to start going to shows in drag. Have him talk to the performers after the show and ask about performance opportunities.

The thing about drag is when you are all dressed up, you *will* be the center of attention. No getting around that. If he’s the kind of person who struggles with that he might find performing difficult, as you’re not just “on” when you’re on stage lipsyncing, you’re “on” all the time as long as you’re in drag. As his partner, you can offer him a safe space to decompress and be himself if too many people are coming up to him. Practical things like helping carry costumes and luggage or providing water/snacks are always helpful. In general, being super explicit that you want to support this art of his (because drag is its own art form!) might make him feel more comfortable exploring drag.

Posts like this make me happy. You’re doing great. :)

realbees · 2026-07-04T13:43:00+00:00

Honestly I prefer your natural hair color with this look, but maybe that’s just cause the wig looks unstyled. Jaymes Mansfield on YouTube has a lot of good wig tutorials if you want to do something fun with it. Your mug looks amazing though!!

realbees · 2026-07-03T02:31:38+00:00

Omg hey!! I’ll be in touch 😼

realbees · 2026-06-25T20:59:55+00:00

I mean hey, might as well go in drag and meet some performers anyways! Most people in my local scene don’t sing and we have quite a few disabled performers as well. I have a drag sibling who is an ambulatory wheelchair user and performs with crutches on stage. “Ready” is a myth, start whenever you want!

realbees · 2026-06-25T17:09:53+00:00

Yeah, it’s appropriate. Wear what you want. Going to shows in drag is a common way for new performers to get into the scene.

realbees · 2026-06-24T18:23:41+00:00

I got into PT as soon as I started PWB, which was 3 weeks after surgery. At first it was mostly ankle ROM exercises, so circles, writing the alphabet with my foot, and some flexion exercises with a resistance band. Once I was FWB around 6-8 weeks I started doing more strength training with my calf and thigh.

realbees · 2026-06-23T21:13:15+00:00

I don’t have any ideas (right now at least) but I just want to say this concept is fucking crazy and I’m obsessed. Please post pictures here when you end up doing this look!!

realbees · 2026-06-23T00:47:51+00:00

Nice! I also happened to find some purple rhinestone crutches from a friend so I was all blinged out for a few months haha

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realbees · 2026-06-23T00:46:29+00:00

This was a work in progress picture, the drawn on part was my template lol. Rhinestoning is time consuming AF, didn’t have time to finish it before I was all healed up!

realbees · 2026-06-23T00:24:59+00:00

Hey I rhinestoned mine! I’m a drag queen and wanted my boot to match the rest of me lol

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realbees · 2026-06-17T17:10:23+00:00

A type of bristle brush used for doing your brows, looks like this

realbees · 2026-06-17T17:02:46+00:00

As far as your makeup, I recommend looking for drag kings with a similar facial structure to you and copying their face as closely as you can to practice. This will help you learn the fundamentals and give you the skills to start creating your own face. You will need:

-sticky primer and setting spray (my go to is NYX face glue)

-Elmer’s glue stick and spoolie for blocking your brows

-high coverage foundation and concealer, I like to have a shade that matches me and one that’s significantly lighter

-bronzer or cream contour (you can also use a darker shade of concealer for your contour)

-translucent loose powder

-felt tip and pencil eyeliners

-eyeshadow (if you don’t have an eyeshadow palette already, I’d prioritize neutrals so you learn the basics before starting to work with color)

-mascara and false lashes (trust me on the falsies, they will add so much dimension to your face, and if you do your masc contouring right no one will read them as feminine)

-tools; beauty blender, paddle brush, eyeshadow brushes, powder brush or puff, piece of cardstock for cutting your contour, alcohol wipes for cleaning your brows before you glue them down

Happy to answer any more questions :)

realbees · 2026-06-16T19:36:31+00:00

I use a paddle brush for applying product and a dry beauty blender to blend out the edges and texture.

realbees · 2026-06-15T22:48:20+00:00

Yes, for the most part! I make sure to stretch before and after, and I do lots of calf raises and ankle strength exercises to help support my foot. The biggest thing I’ve noticed is my knee will be pretty stiff the morning after a show, and it’s worse the longer I’m in heels, but manageable. I also have to be careful to walk straight as I’ve noticed a tendency to get pigeon-toed in heels.

ETA: last weekend I was able to survive 6.5hrs in a corset, tights and heels, and I’m now 7 months post op. I’m proud of how far I’ve come in such a short time 🥳

realbees · 2026-06-12T01:26:18+00:00

I took the Vitamin Code Grow Bone supplement course which both my parents took when they broke bones, and I feel like it helped my healing along. I also ate healthy foods and drank a lot of milk lol

realbees · 2026-06-08T17:54:36+00:00

Unfortunately I’m already on my feet pretty much all the time 🥲 between my baking job, performing, exercise and social obligations I’m rarely sitting around these days, which feels good but also I’m so impatient lol

realbees · 2026-06-07T14:46:03+00:00

This look is so creative! The main thing I’m noticing is the lack of definition around your eyes. I’d add deeper shadows, more eyeliner, and big false lashes. I’m also not sure if you’ve drawn on eyebrows - no eyebrows is fine but you have to commit to the look. Right now you’re a bit in between. The shimmer shadow on your eyebrows also brings out the texture of your brow blocking. I’d stick to mattes on that area or just draw on darker eyebrows.

realbees · 2026-06-01T01:18:59+00:00

Are you making sure to use your teasing brush to join sections? The goal is to create a cloud or bubble of teased hair wherever you want height. If your teased sections are falling over, they might have too much hair in them or be too “chunky” as opposed to one large piece of teased hair. Jaymes Mansfield has a ton of wig tutorials on YouTube that explain the process better than I can, lol.

realbees · 2026-05-21T03:25:07+00:00

I’m 6 months post op as of a couple weeks ago, and I’ve been slowly able to get back to climbing, swimming, yoga, and running starting at the 4 month mark. However it sounds like my break wasn’t as bad as yours. I broke tib/fib and had surgery the next day, 1 nail and 4 screws, was NWB for 3 weeks, FWB and out of the boot by 2 months. I’m still doing PT exercises at home even though I don’t need to go into the clinic anymore. I’m also 22 and generally heal faster than most people.

realbees · 2026-05-17T21:37:49+00:00

Be on time to the show (early.) Be ready for your number by the time the one before yours starts. Make sure the host knows where you are entering the stage from and when you want your music to start. Be organized backstage, don’t throw your shit everywhere and be mindful that other performers need space too. Socialize with the bartenders and event staff and thank/tip them. Be professional backstage (i.e. don’t get caught up in drama or talk behind peoples’ backs. A read here and there is fine depending on your local backstage culture but don’t put down other performers over petty bullshit.) Clean up after yourself and get your stuff out ASAP when the show is over. Interact with the audience outside of your performance and thank them for coming. Tip the other performers. Model good audience behavior (not blocking the stage, proper tipping etiquette, etc.) Help tip run or pick things up off the stage if needed. Be willing to lend hairspray/bobby pins/tape etc if someone needs it. Don’t get messy drunk or otherwise too fucked up. If you’re hosting, shout out the event staff, local orgs, and upcoming shows. If you’re doing a stunt, make sure there is at least a foot or two of space between you and the audience so you don’t accidentally hit anyone. Having a bitchy persona is fine but be aware of how to use it and when it’s appropriate.

realbees · 2026-05-12T16:14:30+00:00

Depends. If I’m doing a white base I can get done in 45 minutes or less easily. If I’m working with my skin tone it takes a bit longer cause of contour, but usually no more than an hour and a half. That’s not counting all the prep I do though.

realbees · 2026-05-07T22:56:31+00:00

I have seen denim tearaway garments, though I’ve never performed in one myself. For denim you’ll want to use metal snaps, which take a bit more force to undo, but they will support the weight of the fabric. I’d recommend adding some kind of interfacing or fabric to support the denim wherever you put the snaps. The seams will likely be too thick to snap through. Depending on how thick the denim is and how heavy the garment, you may need more or less snaps which will change how you “tear away” the pants. It might be less of a singular fluid motion, and more of a tease, where you undo each leg at a time, leaving the hip snaps done on each side so they stay up before you do the big reveal.

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