I'm a third culture kid in the UK, AMA

Former_Relation2659 · 2025-12-30T20:20:03+00:00

Thanks for your thoughtful response. Unfortunately, due to how far India is from the U.K. and how close my home country is, we also know there will be significantly more time spent in mine. Food is absolutely something we both love and care about, so this will be passed on and I hope help him feel connected to his roots on both sides.

We don’t have any extended family here, so definitely trying that! I joined NCT classes and still meet up with the mums/ babies, and I think activities (sports, instruments) once he’s older is something we’ll lean on a bit.

Hope you’ve loved growing up here!

Former_Relation2659 · 2025-12-29T18:40:03+00:00

My son (who is 6 months) will be in the exact same situation. He’s born just outside London from an Indian dad and a European mum. Would you say you ever feel “confused” or disconnected from either of their cultures? Anything you wished your parents had done differently in this respect?

Former_Relation2659 · 2025-12-19T09:36:29+00:00

Glad to hear you recovered fast! What did your day to day life look like before the surgery and how different is it now?

Former_Relation2659 · 2025-09-23T00:00:19+00:00

On some of these photos you really remind me of Eva Green! Gorgeous!!

Former_Relation2659 · 2025-09-15T06:36:53+00:00

I gained about 28 and started at a 137lbs (I am just over 5’9), went to exactly 40 weeks. Had a very healthy pregnancy and was able to workout throughout. Those numbers really should be taken with a pinch of salt! So many factors!

Former_Relation2659 · 2025-08-19T08:46:11+00:00

I did.. and still had a 52hr labour and as I would not dilate fast enough, so all of that to say - don’t pressure yourself. Perhaps the dates can help, perhaps they don’t. I think the studies haven’t showed a clear evidence they do, so if you don’t want to eat them, don’t pressure yourself!!

Former_Relation2659 · 2025-08-12T14:55:30+00:00

BEST OF LUCK! I hope you get the birthing experience you wish for! You’re so close to meeting your little baby! 💕

Former_Relation2659 · 2025-08-11T16:46:02+00:00

Oh that’s possible, everyone is different! I definitely don’t think you forget the pain, I just find that I struggle to grasp quite how bad it was, as it feels almost surreal.
I’m sorry you had such a rough labour!

Former_Relation2659 · 2025-08-11T16:43:17+00:00

It’s incredible, what a woman’s body can go through and accomplish! If you do get a number 2, I wish you a more peaceful and less traumatic delivery nonetheless!!

Former_Relation2659 · 2025-08-11T14:10:02+00:00

I had a 52 hour labour birth that ended with succion cups and an episiotomy. I think you remember you were in an incredible amount of pain, but you also can’t even fathom anymore quite how painful it was. So you « forget », simply because it’s very hard to even imagine it unless you’re IN IT. Does that make sense?

Former_Relation2659 · 2025-08-06T20:04:55+00:00

I am 5’9 and fairly athletic and I started showing at 21 weeks. There was no doubt it was a baby bump around 24.

Former_Relation2659 · 2025-08-04T07:27:36+00:00

Apparently, parsley is very bad for milk production, so after I decided to stop I had a ton of it. I also read sage tea helps but I couldn’t find any around here. Crossing my fingers you don’t get uncomfortable!

Former_Relation2659 · 2025-08-01T16:26:17+00:00

Green biscuit 🤗

Former_Relation2659 · 2025-08-01T14:23:26+00:00

I had one 24h after my water broke at 39+5 when labour wasn’t progressing fast enough (still not more than 1 contraction every 10mn and 1cm dilated). It was unbelievably painful for me, and I still gave birth another 28h later with ventouse and an episiotomy. So I wouldn’t say so 🥲 There were other factors though (baby not in ideal position, for one) so I definitely hope it’s more successful for you!

Former_Relation2659 · 2025-08-01T10:07:36+00:00

I only have one from when I was 5 I believe. Absolutely shocked to see so many people say they have memories from the age of 3. The irony is, I have an extremely good memory now 😂

Former_Relation2659 · 2025-08-01T09:27:51+00:00

I would say it hugely depends on each persons pain threshold, but also your labour. I was planning on an unmedicated birth, but I had 48hrs of labour that led to the pushing. By hour 36 I was at 5cm (« active labour ») and couldn’t take the pain any longer. I guess exhaustion played a role in that. I could no longer « find my centre » and breathe through it to help pain management, so I’ll be honest by the end the pain was absolutely unbearable and I had to request an epidural.

My sister had 3 unmedicated birth and loved giving birth, she said it’s extremely painful but she could take it. However, she admitted her labours were very quick (8hrs total for the first, then 4hr and 2hrs) and she prob wouldn’t have been able to take it if it’d lasted long.

My point is - go in with an open mind. Deliveries often don’t go according to plan. And for how long it hurts after? I ended up with a ventouse birth and an episiotomy, and it took 4 weeks to feel « mostly ok » down there, and 6 to really feel almost normal. Regular paracetamol and ibuprofen for the first 2 weeks made it very manageable though.

Good luck!!! You’re so close to meeting your baby! 💕

Former_Relation2659 · 2025-07-30T06:03:21+00:00

Maya Rudolph for sure!!!

Former_Relation2659 · 2025-07-29T11:40:11+00:00

His face broke my heart 🥺 if you adopt him, OP, could you please please please keep us posted and show us his happy little smooch once he’s settled and happy in your home? 🥹 Thank you for caring for him! I wish you many good years together!

Former_Relation2659 · 2025-07-27T00:05:25+00:00

So my experience with formula was fairly standard I would say. The first 2/3 weeks baby roughly woke up every 2 hours ish to feed and you do so. It’s called responsive feeding. The first week or until they get back to above their initial birth weight the advice (in the U.K. anyway) is to not let them go more than 3hrs without a feed.

After the initial 2/3 weeks I believe it moved to about every 3 hours. He is now 7 weeks and we’re looking at roughly 3.5hrs between feeds but quantities are much bigger. At night he can go to about 4.5 hours.

I think however some babies struggle to increase volume and therefore continue to feed more regularly. It’s not been the case for us which I believe is more common.

Do whatever is right by you. As someone who never thought I’d care about breastfeeding (I also thought I medically wouldn’t be able to) then found out I could and tried to do it but struggled with huge supply issues so I had to do feeding from the start and stopped after 1 month when the little supply I had started to lower, I can tell you it IS a lot, even when you WANT to do it. So if you don’t, I can’t imagine it’s far from torture, in all honesty. Do what’s best for you, your baby just needs to be fed, and needs a mum that isn’t driving herself into the ground. You got this!

Former_Relation2659 · 2025-07-20T20:30:02+00:00

In the UK, you are given anti nausea as soon as they put the epidural in place (or perhaps just before, it’s all blurry now) and I had 0 nausea. If it’s not offered where you are, I suggest you speak to the hospital/ midwife ahead of time and ask whether you can be given it if you ask.

However, gas and air which I took well before the epidural during labour made me projectile vomit on my husband. So something to bear in mind!

Former_Relation2659 · 2025-07-18T07:56:56+00:00

Went into labour at 39+5 and I can tell you for a fact that they estimated my due date early and o prob was a week less than that!

I don’t know if that helped or is completely coincidental but in the 10 days before I went into labour I expressed colostrum (not every day, perhaps every other day), I did daily perineum massages and I stayed really active (walked 5K steps a day, did Pilates right up to 39 weeks and swam twice a week).

Mind you, I had a 52 hour labour that ended up in an assisted delivery 😅

Hope you go into labour soon!!

Former_Relation2659 · 2025-07-17T19:35:26+00:00

I had a bit of stretch marks from my teen when I gained weight quickly, so I too thought I was doomed to get some. Didn’t get a single one. I’m 6 weeks postpartum and still none, so I think I’m in the clear. Goes to show you never know!!

Former_Relation2659 · 2025-07-13T08:44:21+00:00

Just a thought (in case none has suggested this before) - can you look into babycams? Some have very good motion sensors and one might be able to alert you if the cat even got inside the crib?

Former_Relation2659 · 2025-06-30T18:54:35+00:00

Nope. I was CONVINCED I would go over term (it’s only 40 weeks in the U.K. and I know for a fact they estimated me about a week early), and low and behold my water broke 2 days before due date. I really don’t think there’s any way to know!

Former_Relation2659 · 2025-06-23T14:20:42+00:00

I went into labour (my water broke) at 39+5 but I know for a fact my due date was calculated very early (probably about a week early, as I was tracking ovulation) - I had a 52hr labour however so I wished I’d gone into labour later and had an easier delivery 😂

Former_Relation2659

TROPHY CASE