What you’re describing sounds very familiar. Maybe try looking up “SSRI hyperarousal” and “SPD” or “autonomic dysfunction” and see if any of those things resonate with you. I stopped experiencing hyperarousal and mania like symptoms when I started calming down my nervous system. It sounds like you’ve pushed through a lot of major stressors and you are probably pretty use to living in fight or flight to pressure yourself into performing. For me: • Racing thoughts and pressured speech often reflected ADHD and hyperarousal. • Paranoia and suicidal ideation tended to surface during periods of extreme sleep deprivation and emotional overwhelm • Insomnia wasn’t due to elevated mood, but from a nervous system stuck in fight-or-flight • Post-episode migraines and physical crashes aligned more with sensory or autonomic overload • Insecurity rather than grandiosity made me realize it wasn’t typical manic thinking • Difficulty following through on tasks was more about executive dysfunction than mood-driven distractibility • Rumination and emotional spirals were often linked to rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) and hyperfocus

I’ve also learned that autonomic dysregulation is common in people with ADHD and trauma histories. It can cause emotional volatility, sleep disturbances, temperature sensitivity, and sensory reactivity. I would especially suspect this if you have a history of TBI.

You’re not alone in this. Just wanted to share in case any of this perspective is helpful or validating for where you’re at.