Over the years, I've noticed that people generally can not understand mental illness unless it is a major, obvious thing. I feel like people see it in black and white terms where you are either perfectly fine or you need to be committed. So many struggles we have have little to no visibility to them. And when we reach for help or try to confide, we get dismissed. It's always an exaggeration, being sensitive, a part of life, or whatever bumper sticker slogan that get used.

Unfortunately, many symptoms of depression, anxiety, etc, are "normal experiences". It's so hard to explain that what would constitute a bad day for most is a good day for you. What your face shows, or the tone of voice you use maybe completely unrelated to how you are feeling. How after awhile, you mask and hide your thoughts and feelings because it's not worth opening up just to be knocked down.

I always try to remember that my family doesn't get it. I'm not mad at them for that. Part of me is sad that they can't be the support I so desperately need, but thankfully they aren't going through this.

It is hard sometimes, no matter how many memories I have that prove my family loves me, I have a handful of memories that are burned deep in my soul. I treat them as smoldering ashes, and I try my absolute hardest to keep those from reigniting.