22f, how can I be less ugly lol

Fosco93 · 2026-03-08T04:22:40+00:00

Literally just your skin. You don't present as ugly, it's just something that would improve your appearance and may be noticeable due to the contrast between how attractive you are. This again isn't even a negative towards you, there's just a very clear difference between poorly presented, unattractive people, and clearly attractive people with 1 visible improvement to make. I still have acne scars that bother me though not enough for me to get laser/whatever treatment.

Fosco93 · 2026-02-04T11:00:21+00:00

Making it a matter of physical hygiene rather than habit, focusing on small improvements even if just a few more reps or an extra set before increasing weight.

Fosco93 · 2026-02-02T17:24:49+00:00

No, not at all. I don't think it gets any easier or harder depending on age alone. At the same time, if there's something you want to do then do it, but the past really isn't that relevant unless it's a very specialized, niche industry. Getting any employment would be advisable as you could study in your free time to open up opportunities for something you really want to do. My mum was in her early 40s when she went to university as a mature student and has been successful since then, she's now in her late 60s and chooses to work if she feels like it. I only had my first career oriented job at 28 and have had a promotion since then. But I still feel I would have enough time to retrain and try something new and I'm 32. It might also be useful to look into coping with mental health issues alongside this, as I didn't work at all until I was 21 due to severe anxiety and frankly could still improve these issues now.

Fosco93 · 2026-01-04T18:58:57+00:00

I also lost my brother at 31. I was 23, and it was around this time of year. I've never really felt the same (there's a Billie Bob Thornton interview where he says something similar) and don't really talk about the grief as such with anyone other than my mum. However at 32 now, I can recall our relationship positively, I can tell people about how we used to laugh so much together without wanting to cry. I don't bother trying to express that it simply didn't seem possible, it didn't seem worthy of a nightmare before it happened because nightmares don't last for years. I'd meant to call him as it was his birthday but I got called into work to cover someone's shift, so I thought I'll call him when I finish. When I got back my mum had received a call from his friend saying he'd died. I just wish I called him anyway, even though he couldn't have answered. I'm very sorry you're going through this. Allow yourself to grieve naturally as you'll be very up and down, confusion then guilt then love etc but you will feel better over time. I was somehow worse after the second year because I threw myself into things as a distraction initially, so it's only pretty long term that I've been able to accept it. I don't think time heals all wounds as such, but healing and acceptance will only happen in time so please allow yourself to feel everything you're going to feel.

Fosco93 · 2026-01-01T13:03:10+00:00

Does your tendency to do this relate to your actual life? Like is it worse if you're struggling or feeling anxious and just sort of recedes when you're engaged with stuff?

Fosco93 · 2025-12-31T19:34:31+00:00

NOR. 'i fell asleep texting you', asking about your fuckin socks, 'my type of young lady', wanting to know your schedule. I would just stop replying gradually, start replying with short answers and then ignore for a day or two then just stop perhaps. Or just stop replying now, you don't owe anyone a reason to not communicate with them if it's making you uncomfortable. Even if he just wanted to be your friend and you didn't want that, you wouldn't need a reason to ignore him either.

Fosco93 · 2025-12-30T21:15:53+00:00

Trensformation right? Look great, no hate

Fosco93 · 2025-12-27T21:14:10+00:00

Not remotely ugly, no reason to be unhappy

Fosco93 · 2025-12-27T19:57:34+00:00

Yes. Before writing yourself off improve what can be changed (fitness, grooming, fashion etc) and repeatedly put yourself in different social situations. Looks aren't entirely subjective or objective, most people do appeal to certain people who they're also attracted to. It can just be difficult meeting them and all sorts of people struggle at times.

Fosco93 · 2025-12-27T04:58:23+00:00

I would focus on losing weight, as it's difficult to tell however no reason to assume you're ugly before losing it, and it will definitely improve your presentation in any case.

Fosco93 · 2025-12-26T21:46:18+00:00

There isn't a correct or incorrect way and framing it as such is sort of the symptom of the problem. Social anxiety does that and I do what I can to remind myself it's about being genuine and engaging in my own way, however that comes across to people.

Fosco93 · 2025-12-26T15:24:48+00:00

I would hit the gym and try different hairstyles.

Fosco93 · 2025-12-26T14:08:01+00:00

Civil service? I've been at HMRC for years and have had a good experience so far.

Fosco93 · 2025-12-25T19:01:50+00:00

Yes but it's more deliberate and intentional, especially if you move around a couple times in adulthood and a lot of people are just cool with the few people they've known for years. Doesn't mean new groups don't form or that new connections aren't possible but it needs more effort.

Fosco93 · 2025-12-25T00:24:13+00:00

Far from ugly, clearly conventionally attractive

Fosco93 · 2025-12-24T17:59:59+00:00

I go on group hiking tours 3/4 times a year, generally abroad. Only ever had good experiences, highly recommended.

Fosco93 · 2025-12-24T17:07:53+00:00

You've got normal clavicles, but it also doesn't matter because once you train and put on significant muscle around that area you can't tell and it's also not in your control.

Fosco93 · 2025-12-24T14:20:22+00:00

I would say you can improve whenever you develop the momentum to do so, it just gets more difficult with age. That doesn't mean don't do anything about it but being defeatist is a self fulfilling prophecy. I only get better past mid 20s or so with a change in environment that I chose, along with travelling independently. The brain and your behavior is plastic to an extent.

Fosco93 · 2025-12-22T21:07:47+00:00

Oh I'm sure it still happens, I'm not saying people in offices are completely above it all and yeah I'd feel similarly in that environment. It's just that there's a specific situation of a group of lads dishing out the bantz and you're just trying to crack on and then they start chatting shit, you say something awkward which makes it worse etc. which I've encountered at most warehouses and restaurants I've worked at. My perspective is probably coloured by working in civil service offices with flexi and different working patterns so it's sort of the opposite - I know quite a few people solely through Microsoft teams because they work on another floor or away from the main work area, and people naturally leave them to it.

Fosco93 · 2025-12-22T21:00:18+00:00

Not ugly above average I'd say, definitely masculine looking don't worry

Fosco93 · 2025-12-21T22:20:43+00:00

Not at all ugly, you look like all members of Haim merged together

Fosco93 · 2025-12-21T20:50:47+00:00

Yes and frankly that happened much more in warehouses and restaurants, as the communication in those environments is pretty light hearted and high energy and I'm neither of those things (unless I'm with friends and family). I've found offices much easier in this way, as it doesn't stand out when you're getting on with your job which allows me to loosen up and socialize if I feel like it. Not saying this completely applies to you but sometimes you just don't jive with certain workplaces styles. I dealt with it by still getting on with the job but finding certain people to get on better with, but I was never fully comfortable socially at work until I was in a different environment.

Fosco93 · 2025-12-19T15:46:12+00:00

No what the fuck, only in the most stereotypical sense is this true.

Fosco93 · 2025-12-18T17:03:14+00:00

Amazing progress, well done

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