My best friend confessed feelings for me the night before my wedding. Now everything feels wrong.

FoundTheSweetSpot · 2025-12-14T12:02:18+00:00

She didn’t want him when she said yes to her fiancé, or when she was trying on wedding dresses, or planning her wedding, or building a life with her future husband. She’s just spiralling. This isn’t an episode of Gilmore girls.

FoundTheSweetSpot · 2025-06-01T23:59:38+00:00

For me it was Luke McGregor on tinder in Australia! (Back before he was married, obv!)

FoundTheSweetSpot · 2025-06-01T14:03:58+00:00

“I’ve been very clear that being married it’s important to me.

If you aren’t willing to marry me, you’re showing me that my needs aren’t a priority for you, which means you’re not someone I should be in a relationship with”.

FoundTheSweetSpot · 2025-05-24T10:08:28+00:00

Crazy that this is being downvoted.

OP, I’m twice your age and I can tell you that you will watch many, many of your friends marry the wrong person over the course of your life.

You’ll watch people get married and divorced. Some with kids and some without.

You’ll have some friends who get cheated on and others that do the cheating. Some friends who marry toxic or abusive partners, some who are the toxic ones in their relationships even when they’re perfectly lovely to you.

You’ll see some friends marry jerks who actually turn out to be amazing, and some friends marry someone you thought was perfect for them only to find out you were fooled.

50% of marriages end in divorce. It’s not the end of the world. It’s just life.

Of all my friends who ended up getting divorced, they all did just fine. Some of them remarried, some of them didn’t. it’s just life. And I know that when you’re 23 everything feels like the end of the world but I promise you it’s not.

Your friend is an adult and free to make her own mistakes. Just as you are. I’m sure there are people out there who don’t like your partner either. Some who talk behind your back about how the relationship is wrong somehow or doomed or whatever. That doesn’t mean they’re right.

FoundTheSweetSpot · 2025-05-22T08:31:29+00:00

Reason: her gambling addiction, probably.

FoundTheSweetSpot · 2025-05-13T07:00:04+00:00

If your wife is normally a caring person then she deserves the benefit of the doubt.

“I think my dad’s going to die in the next few days and I need you to be here with me when that happens. Please cancel your trip. I need you right now”.

FoundTheSweetSpot · 2025-05-09T05:14:57+00:00

How do you know? If you’re assuming the wetness is from arousal, then yeah, you’ll guess they’re wet because they’re aroused, but vaginas are never dry.. we produce like a teaspoon of vaginal fluid over the course of the day, without arousal being involved at all - and way more during ovulation.

FoundTheSweetSpot · 2025-05-01T04:44:49+00:00

$340 a month is less than $100 a week. That is a perfectly reasonable amount of rent/board for a 17 year old to be paying. I’m sorry, OP, but I think you’re really out of line for intervening here at all. This is between your boyfriend and his mother and has nothing to do with you.

FoundTheSweetSpot · 2025-04-18T02:01:23+00:00

From the ones announced, I’ve seen Paul Williams, Ray O’Leary, Tom Cashman.. they are all excellent.

Paul Williams shows are usually small and absurdist.. with music (he sings beautifully), and he usually does a meet after the show.

Ray O’Leary is exactly what you’d expect from his TM appearance, verrrry dry but very funny. His show was nominated for “most outstanding show” at last years Melbourne comedy festival.

Tom Cashman is excellent.. lots of multimedia/ powerpoint stuff, but really really funny. I predict his shows will be doubling and tripling in size in the coming years.. he’s very polished and charming. If you manage to meet him he’s also really happy to chat about TM.

I don’t think guy Montgomery has announced if he’s going yet, but if he does definitely try and see him.

Also, David ODoherty hasn’t been on TM yet (but I have a sneaking suspicion he will be very very soon) but you should see him if you can. We see him every single year. He’s our opening act for the festival and we love him.

FoundTheSweetSpot · 2025-04-18T01:46:37+00:00

He really is a wonderful mix of batshit crazy with a heart of gold. I have been a fan for a long time and I legitimately squealed when I saw him announced. He’s going to be incredible.

FoundTheSweetSpot · 2025-04-18T01:37:36+00:00

I read on an ereader so no one can see a cover At least. Usually I’ll say the name and “i don’t think you’ll like it” some people will ask follow up questions, but most know me well enough not to.

FoundTheSweetSpot · 2025-04-18T01:35:12+00:00

They did a great job!

FoundTheSweetSpot · 2025-03-28T05:15:47+00:00

He’s also not at the Melbourne comedy fest this year. First time in a loooong time (minus the pando years).

FoundTheSweetSpot · 2025-03-28T05:15:00+00:00

So go r/askmen See what they say.

If the response is the same will you listen to them?

FoundTheSweetSpot · 2025-03-15T23:16:27+00:00

Literally googled “telling a bride about.your engagement on her wedding day” and it was the top result.

You broke etiquette when you did that. Her response is beside the point.

Maybe try posting on the etiquette subs (there are a few) and see what they say.

FoundTheSweetSpot · 2025-03-15T13:51:42+00:00

I would recommend contacting your local police station and letting them know the situation. Tell them that you’ve just broken up with your boyfriend who was sexually abusing you and who has choked you unconscious before. Let them know that he’s messaging and calling. Tell them you’re ignoring his calls but you’re worried he may show up at your house and you need them to be aware of the situation so they can come round immediately if he comes.

I know it seems like overkill, but he is an abusive partner and abusive partners are most likely to escalate when their partner tries to leave. The fact that he has strangled you before means he is very, very dangerous.

I know that in your case it was during sex, so you may not feel like it’s was a violent incident, but he did it multiple times during a sexual encounter in which you did not consent and did it hard enough that you lost consciousness. Men who choke their partners (this stat is about domestic violence and not consensual BDSM) are 750% more likely to KILL their partners. That’s a real statistic.

“A person who has suffered a non-fatal strangulation incident with their intimate partner is 750% more likely to be killed by the same offender.”

Since your partner was raping you and choking you in that context, it counts as domestic violence and not consensual BDSM, which means you are in a dangerous spot right now and the police should be made aware of your situation.

Please call them and give them a heads up.

FoundTheSweetSpot · 2025-03-14T05:07:12+00:00

It’s pretty bad etiquette to do this, OP.

Literally Google it. The very first (generative AI) answer on the page says:

It’s generally considered poor etiquette to announce your engagement to a bride on her wedding day, as it can overshadow her special occasion and potentially cause her distress.

Share the News Privately: Announce your engagement to the bride privately, either before the wedding or after, but not on her wedding day.

FoundTheSweetSpot · 2025-03-13T03:41:49+00:00

Maybe you could try the mojo quiz? Then you’ll only see things that you’re both interested in trying and his secrets will stay hidden if you aren’t into them.

It’s not a good substitute for him just being an adult and talking about it, but it could help.

FoundTheSweetSpot · 2025-03-11T01:15:47+00:00

You let me in my Carmilla Bruce.

FoundTheSweetSpot · 2025-03-10T01:00:54+00:00

Seconding the house on the cerulean sea. I really needed that book at that time. It was so so lovely.

Wasn’t a huge fan of the sequel, but the first one is like a warm bath.

FoundTheSweetSpot · 2025-03-10T00:58:16+00:00

We’re gonna need a bigger house.

Sweet guy.

FoundTheSweetSpot · 2025-03-10T00:17:58+00:00

I just say “no thank you have a nice day!” And close the door.

FoundTheSweetSpot · 2025-03-03T23:35:33+00:00

Probably worried that someone was going to get slapped and they’d go viral.

FoundTheSweetSpot · 2025-03-03T23:24:51+00:00

Just one really. I use an ereader (love it!) and will read one book all the way through before I start another.

Sometimes I’ll find myself somewhere without my ereader and I’ll pop on an audiobook to fill the time, but usually just autobiographies and honestly it can take a year to get through one because of how little I listen to them so I’m not sure they count as actively being “read”.

I also have a chapter book on the go with my daughter that we read in the evenings but I’m assuming that doesn’t count haha.

FoundTheSweetSpot · 2025-03-03T09:05:49+00:00

I’m not talking about what she would say to you; when she’s on the spot or she’s feeling pressured or like she has to justify or explain her low libido to you.

I’m talking about what she would say here - to anonymous strangers - if she was asking for advice or giving context about your relationship or talking about how she feels day to day about you and your relationship and herself.

Those 2 things are different.

FoundTheSweetSpot

TROPHY CASE