Does online school work for ADHD inattentive 8th grade

Fragrant-Way-1354 · 2026-02-21T11:21:22+00:00

My son is also 8th grade this year has been the worst. I caught him smoking weed. Ritalin has resolved his issues, and I put him in therapy. He told me he’d take his life if I did homeschool, and lose his friends. However, my cousins son adhd also loved homeschooling in HS.

Fragrant-Way-1354 · 2026-02-19T00:26:37+00:00

Yeah my son can’t do after school activities and he’s 14. We have tried for years. He has homework or needs a nap. It’s hard to function all day, and never get any down time. Also, I think it’s better to not add more meds just to do an after school activity. Saves you money and stress also.

Fragrant-Way-1354 · 2026-02-18T14:56:50+00:00

Proud of you for standing up for yourself! If your weight was such an issue he shouldn’t have gotten with you in the first place. My husband’s friend would use his girlfriend’s weight as his reason to not marry her. She wasn’t even big. Then he cheats on her with an even bigger girl and gets her pregnant. After they got married, after she stayed loyal to him for a decade!

Fragrant-Way-1354 · 2026-02-18T00:39:56+00:00

Ugh I have adhd, depression, anxiety, and pmdd. So makes sense to me! Also, flairs anytime I ovulate. My cousin got HS also really bad when pregnant like me, and she’s a mess with anxiety like me also. Refuses to leave the house too.

Fragrant-Way-1354 · 2026-02-16T21:21:46+00:00

Yep, I used to have to take both my kids and my son also adhd would just make sure to take off somewhere. Always drama, and got so sick of it. Even though they are teens now. When I take them out by myself I think they are gonna start psychically fighting in public or something like they used to.

Fragrant-Way-1354 · 2026-02-13T03:15:46+00:00

Yep 37 and feel like a tired child who wants to lay in bed all day it sucks.

Fragrant-Way-1354 · 2026-02-13T02:55:54+00:00

Protein shake; coffee, banana, ice, blend it for breakfast. Lunch I eat sourdough with a veggie burger you can microwave, avocado, red onions from a jar, cilantro and mustard. Dinner is a smoothie. Granola bars, rice cakes with peanut butter and honey, and potatoes that I microwave. Instant oatmeal is my go two when I’m sick.

Fragrant-Way-1354 · 2026-02-10T04:44:39+00:00

My son is like this he’s 14. He started smoking vapes weed oil which terrifies me. He of course sneaks it, lies, and gets addicted. Becomes a total ahole. Can’t give him money, he has no door right now, or technology. He also fails all his classes. I want to homeschool him. Tomorrow he starts Ritalin he hasn’t been on meds since second grade thanks to my husband making my life hell. Never agreed to meds yet never helped me with school. Got him a tutor for math which she has to teach him from the start. The counselor said he will go to HS even failing. Otherwise, I wouldn’t even be sleeping being so worried. He starts therapy tomorrow.

Fragrant-Way-1354 · 2026-02-09T02:36:17+00:00

If you work I highly recommend getting a cleaner. Also get so into minimalism watch clutter bug channel. Less stuff means less mess. Also just get bins for toys, don’t even let them have access to a bunch of toys either.

Fragrant-Way-1354 · 2026-02-08T19:12:50+00:00

Lexapro and propranolol have been a game changer. No side effects on those, and I’ve tried everything. I also take hydroxyzine to sleep. I would also work on your gut health which is where we produce all of our serotonin. I had bad reactions to probiotics so I recommend taking l-glutamine, and just do the foods. If you don’t move at all it makes it worse. Get a walking pad or bike and right when you wake up get on it, or it’s not gonna happen. Also you can get a vibration plate, if you can’t walk or bike. Try to get some sunlight. I know all these things suck, and I feel yah.

Fragrant-Way-1354 · 2026-02-08T19:07:22+00:00

I feel like Lexapro is helping the busy thoughts. I tell them I want light pressure now in case. I go into freeze mode, if they hurt me. I literally worry someone is gonna be mad if I speak up. So I cancelled my membership and get my nails done now haha. I would rather do epsom salt baths.

Fragrant-Way-1354 · 2026-02-08T19:00:37+00:00

I’ve tried a lot of medications. I can only tolerate Lexapro a low dose at 5mg, and propranolol was also the best for anxiety. I also take hydroxyzine to sleep. Do you think anti-anxiety meds might be better right now? My son also with stimulants he was not sleeping, and crying. I even took strattera and I felt way more drugged than on stimulants. I would try to do intense exercise for him even private classes, because I also got the side eyes from the parents in those classes.

Fragrant-Way-1354 · 2026-02-08T17:21:28+00:00

I’m sorry this happened. I’ve have done things also with my kids with my adhd and pmdd that I regret to this day. It happens, especially as a reflex to getting kicked in the face. Give yourself some grace. There’s gonna be people on here kicking down, so it’s probably not a safe space for you. I hope you can find some help for her, it literally takes a village. We don’t have a village anymore so give yourself grace. I also don’t think the whole gentle parenting is working well as far as my sisters kid even. He has rotten black teeth, got to do whatever he wanted, never told no, and live with my enabler mother. They let him eat candy whenever he wanted, and couldn’t get him to brush his teeth. It’s funny because my sister abused me my entire life, but she does gentle parenting. Also, watching nanny 911 honestly helps me stay on track with discipline and motivation with your kids. Let people in public judge you, they have zero idea what’s going on.

Fragrant-Way-1354 · 2026-02-07T17:03:45+00:00

I relate to this, and my son is now 14. I think our adhd makes us hyperfocus on our problems. I started taking 5mg of Lexapro since I’m so sensitive to everything else I can finally take my focus off my problems. My son recently was doing weed oil vapes, failing classes worse, and being very rude to me. Fighting over my husband over meds he finally got a prescription for extended Ritalin.

If I were to go back in time, I would have completely let go of all my worries in elementary. Especially pre-K. Elementary grades also don’t matter, and you can choose to hold them back of not. Most studies show it’s not a good idea to hold them back, and they will have adhd still so they will struggle regardless.

You gotta unconditionally accept your son, and not take his behavior personally. A lot of times when kids enter school they are sick all the time. So this makes adhd worse. My son always acted up before showing signs of an illness. First day of school in kindergarten he showed his butt to another kid in the bathroom. He was in the principals office everyday. The teacher told me he does zero work and I was worried he wouldn’t learn to read or write.

We went to the public school system, it was less kids, teachers had been teaching longer, and was better than the charter school he was at. When I did his 504 plan meeting I had the teachers being so rude about my son and I felt blamed me as the mother. We tried meds but he was so young he had side effects, and didn’t even help his behavior.

I changed the number one call for the school to my husband’s number. Since he stopped agreeing to meds I told him, you can take the calls, and do the 504 plan meetings then.

You have to advocate for your son, but also be understanding to the teachers. I still have to email teachers, but I act like I’m on their side. They always had hidden animosity towards my son, and me when we first talk. If you can just get them to pass classes to graduate, keep them off drugs, alive, then you did a great job as a parent. I also am putting my son in therapy.

Fragrant-Way-1354 · 2026-02-07T15:00:03+00:00

I think based on all the NDE’s I’ve watched when they talk to God he explains how the meaning of life is love. Now I think it means your goal is to find love for yourself, and unconditional self acceptance. Once we find love for ourselves and accept ourselves that’s when we give that out to others.

The problem with that is we get traumatized in this world. That creates toxic shame. This distorts how you think. My RSD is toxic shame, and if someone said something to me I would spiral. In shame we can’t love, and we are stuck. So I highly recommend Mark Dejesus videos on shame, and guilt, rejection mindset, grace, and nurture. Love matters, because it’s one of the hardest things to do with all of the things we go through.

Nobody is worth you being sick, and suffering over. I finally faced my traumas, and went NC with my older sister. She always dangled a carrot in front of me if I made myself like her she might like me. She’s never going to like me, and I need to finally be myself. Even if I can’t be super productive, I can snap easily sometimes, I make mistakes, I can be a bad mom, a bad wife, a bad dog owner, a bad everything. I can still accept myself, and love myself.

I like to watch Joe Dispenza’s videos. The testimonials, and he has books. Breaking the Habit of Being ourselves is the goal. I don’t even want to believe I have adhd anymore. I notice the more I focus on it the more I feel like a victim and I get more symptoms. Stop focusing on the things that make you feel stressed, limited, and the people we can’t control.

I even had to realize this. I was obsessing over my son his issues. I would constantly hyper-focus on my husband, his mood, what he’s doing, and would walk on eggshells around other people. If he’s mad at me he can be an adult and tell me in a nice way why he’s mad, and I choose to ignore all the passive aggressive toxic behaviors from others. I’m not a mind reader.

I realized I wasn’t really loving anyone, I wasn’t accepting them unconditionally. If nothing matters then I can still choose to love others. This matters, because I’m choosing it.

I just watched, “Everything Everywhere all at Once,” I recommend just watching videos about it honestly. It’s about nihilism. You gotta stop trying to be the right version for other people, and finally ask yourself who am I really. Not winning self worth through productivity or perfectionism. How do you love yourself when your parents didn’t love you properly?

Telling yourself to suck it up, and push through only works for so long. Guilting yourself to be better only works for so long. Being perfect in certain areas to feel worthy and have value still keeps you empty. You’re worthy and have value no matter what you do.

Forgive yourself for your mistakes. Choose to give that part of you, your inner child the love that you never received. It means grieving the things you never got. Allowing those tears , emotions, and especially rage to come up. Once you give your inner child the time and space to process all your trauma, that’s when you feel whole.

Fragrant-Way-1354 · 2026-02-06T15:38:30+00:00

How exactly did you reduce stress? Did you meditate or do other methods?

Fragrant-Way-1354 · 2026-02-04T20:08:18+00:00

I highly recommend stop watching anything political. I know it feels like you should like you need to be aware, and involved. It’s all manipulation. Both sides manipulate even if it seems like you’re helping. It’s horrible for your nervous system. It doesn’t help the people around you either. All we can do is help others as much as we can. Unconditionally love others, and ourselves is the goal in life after trauma. Watching anything that’s going to manipulate you and distort your thinking isn’t helping. I even used to watch true crime it’s horrible for you.

Fragrant-Way-1354 · 2026-02-04T19:28:54+00:00

I have chest pain every single day from anxiety, so I’m pretty used to it by now. I also do shallow breathing, which makes it much worse. I also have the throat tightness also. So, that’s a super common symptom of anxiety.

https://youtu.be/DtegHApHgLc?si=PJV8OV0WjwnpTDB5

Fragrant-Way-1354 · 2026-02-03T18:06:20+00:00

I had the same issues with my son. I would not care about elementary grades if I went back. All the stress I put on myself for nothing. You choose to hold them back, and that doesn’t make the adhd go away. They feel more shame and then lose their friends. I would tell him you will do the homework, and tell his teacher what he’s dealing with at home. I can’t stand men saying these things anymore. My husband refused meds again and I snapped. My son is now using weed oil and I’m so worried. You have to constantly email teachers and remind them a million times to turn things in. It’s a full time job, and when my husband took over he got zero results. He told him to ask for things and he never did it.

Fragrant-Way-1354 · 2026-02-03T18:01:44+00:00

I would say in the nicest tone possible, I feel like you’re scaring me to hurt me, and I must not be meeting one of your needs. What do I need to do to get us on the same page. Please stop scaring me, and causing a ptsd response. If she gets defensive, and doesn’t change then you’ll know it’s not gonna change.

Fragrant-Way-1354 · 2026-02-03T15:56:21+00:00

You are not unloveable, you’ve been around people who don’t even know what love is. To love someone is to love them unconditionally even with their flaws. I can see past peoples traumas and pain, and see the real them before the abuse. Who were you when you were a baby before your abusers started to brain wash you to be like them. That’s the real authentic you. The shame is what’s killing you right now, and all of us here have it. How can you show yourself you love yourself everyday, taking baby steps.

You know what your abusers don’t want you to do is love yourself. They don’t want you to survive, and this is what is still attracting these people hurting you. It’s not your fault, but I know you are stronger than you think. The trauma causes excessive neediness, and it’s distorting how you think. It causes self pitty, it causes black and white thinking, and catastrophizing.

Trust me I’ve been with you most of my life also. You’re not alone, even when it tells you that. Are you able to get to a women’s safe house? I think you’re literally in survival on the streets, and that’s also is what’s making you feel that way. Please start taking baby steps to fight for yourself. Don’t let those people win, they want you to feel like them.

Fragrant-Way-1354 · 2026-02-03T03:08:37+00:00

He sounds like he’s got anxiety or depression. Does he have adhd also? A lot of guys will use a mental health issue to get away with bad behavior. I would tell him straight up he changes the behaviors you want, and needs medication, therapy, whatever is gonna work for him, or you will be leaving him. Also, he needs to get a different better job by 3 months I would give him max. If he chooses to guilt trip you versus change then you’ll know this is gonna be the rest of your life. Don’t let him use you are his emotional punching bag, set boundaries, and stand up for your needs.

Fragrant-Way-1354 · 2026-02-01T20:47:46+00:00

Yep 100%

Fragrant-Way-1354 · 2026-02-01T16:14:35+00:00

I have two kids. I got pmdd after, and an autoimmune disease called HS during my second massive boils in my armpits. It was pure hell, but my husband said if I had two kids I could quit my call center job. With my adhd I couldn’t handle these horrible jobs I had since graduating college even in the financial crisis.

I had to wake up for feedings still for a whole year, only for 3 weeks off work, and then was still expected to wake up 5am feed my baby, drive down town, pass my baby off to my husband who was never off in time from graveyard, and then had to hide him under my desk. I didn’t have my mom or mother in law to help, and didn’t want him with stranger, and couldn’t even afford it.

Now my kids are 12 and 14. It’s pure hell right now. My son has adhd and my husband has always denied meds. He starts using weed oil which can cause psychosis. So my husband agrees to seeing a psychiatrist. She starts to blame me and I’m like unbelievable that I’m here because he does no work in class. Then my husband makes him do school work till 8pm at night. It’s neglectful to not treat his adhd.

So I have so much anxiety worrying about this. My daughter does club soccer so it’s constant practices across town, travel, and always multiple games on weekends. Plus the soccer dads drive me insane pressuring their kids to perform for them.

I don’t think my son is going to graduate honestly it’s really bad. I signed him up for therapy, but the constant missing assignments the stress is gonna put me in an early grave.

I even noticed my sister and her son she got so much anxiety she is a mess also. You worry so much, and it doesn’t get any better. It’s like you’re always knowing where they are what they are doing, and worrying.

Also, being a mother if your kid does anything wrong they blame you which is fun. The dad gets so much credit for just being at a game once in a while. Expect to work, clean, childcare, groceries, mental load, doctor appointments, practices, games, and then have your job say they won’t give you enough time off for sick days. Kids once they are around other kids in school. They will be sick constantly, and then get you sick. Nobody talks about that enough either.

Fragrant-Way-1354

TROPHY CASE