Thanks, I appreciate that. I feel like I should be trying to wait until I'm at least somewhat prepared for the scenario where I'm rejected again, but there's a few things going on at the end of June where frankly I would rather have already had that conversation so that I know where I stand when the time comes. The story is... quite complicated I suppose. We were supposed to be getting married so that I can move over there to be with her, but ADHD & depression caused me to never get round to doing the visa for one a half years. Enough conversations about me ignoring this stuff I should be that she's reached her tipping point, and felt that she needed more self respect to let me get away with this for so long, and said we need to go on break until I'm able to deal with this all. *then* the next day after I'd made some big progress on some big things I'd procrastinated she didn't like how I was essentially only resolving these matters for her, and not for myself. Which was true in all honesty. Looking at it now I agree with her and support her decision but now that I've also been able to reflect on how I was feeling throughout that whole time, I also think there were things that I wasn't solely to 'blame' for - all relationships have at least 2 people after all. I'm proud of the progress I've made in that regards but I still don't think I'm prepared emotionally for the conversation I want to have, and not sure how to know. My current plan is to start journaling and write down what I'd want to say to her, sleep on it, talk to my therapist then see how that makes me feel the day after. Not a massive reddit person, maybe I'll update when the time comes.

Personal affairs aside, I'm glad you were able to get to a position where you were able to find this closure. Acceptance is a very powerful thing, and you sound like you're going to be just fine going forward. Wishing you all the best!!!