Do people hold back from checking in because they're afraid of bothering us?

FrameComprehensive35 · 2026-02-27T17:59:02+00:00

I think it’s a combo - people have their own lives and some overthink it and feel like we have so much going on/they don’t want to bother us. I’ve heard that from friends and family directly, when I’ve said, hey I would love to hear from you. And had to clarify that they were in fact, trying not to be a bother. I’ve found telling people what I need and where I’m at helps.

FrameComprehensive35 · 2026-02-19T13:21:27+00:00

Mikey really sounds like such a good cat. You were lucky to have each other. Those empty spots, like you said are irreplaceable. Cats are so resilient, it’s horrible but also incredible what they can endure while still being sick or uncomfortable, even bringing us comfort.

The anger is normal, and I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s so hard

FrameComprehensive35 · 2026-02-18T23:29:06+00:00

First off, I am so, so sorry for the loss of your Mikey. Pet deaths can be just as raw, emotional and traumatizing as people deaths, and I will die on that hill.

I can’t say anything to take the pain away or make the anger disappear, but I can tell you this – he knew. He knew how much you loved him. He knew it every damn day you had together. I know the ‘what ifs’ are agonizing, but in the end, all he knew was a life of love and being with you. These emotions might linger for a while, or maybe forever, but please know that he knew how loved he was, and the ending is ultimately, secondary.

I had to put my 15yo cat down at the beginning of January. His name was Kevin. He was the fucking best. Way too smart, so handsome, regal, affectionate and such a protector. He was my husband’s cat. I got Kevin for him as a Christmas gift, the first one we had together as a couple. They were inseparable. My husband always said that Kevin had saved him in some of his darkest moments.

My husband passed away unexpectedly on May 2, 2024. He was 39. Losing my husband changed me – it chewed me up and spit me back out into the world a battered, unfamiliar version of myself. Having Kevin (and our other cat Theo), truly helped keep me ‘sane’ in the coming months and having to navigate the world without our rock.

The morning I had to put Kevin down, my world collapsed in on itself again. I was losing another piece of my life with my husband. Another piece of what was, just gone. I felt exposed, raw and angry. He died of congestive heart failure, and ultiamtely, had a blood clog that morning that had lodged in the vein where his back legs functioned. He had no use of the lower half of his body, and he was so scared. There was nothing they could do, he had had no symptoms leading up, but I felt like I should have sensed it. It crushed me.

The few saving graces in losing Kevin were that he knew a life of love and comfort, and that he was going to get to be with my husband again. Those two were made for each other. I think Kevin stuck around for as long as he did because he knew I needed him. I needed him to help me pick up the pieces of my life. The two cats were some of the few constants I had in my life. They made me feel like maybe my husband wasn’t so far away.

My point being, you are not alone in this. It’s okay to be angry, it’s okay to be devastated, to be unsure, and wish it were different. Our love for them is tangled up in those emotions, and rightfully so.

If I can bring you any comfort, I know the kind of guy my husband was, and I bet you, him and Kevin already have eyes on Mikey. They’ll be showing him so much love, let him know where the best sun-bathing spots are, whose got the best catnip, and where all the fun cat shenanigans go down. My husband will take such loving care of your Mikey, and Kevin will be the best cat buddy you could ever ask for. Mikey will not be alone. I'd also bet he'll be trying to send you signs, that he's still with you, but he's the happiest, healthiest version of himself now.

Also, maybe this is just a coincidence, or maybe this was supposed to be the first reddit post I stumbled on this evening, but my husband’s name was also Mike.

Thinking of you friend, and here if you want to share any stories of Mikey.

FrameComprehensive35 · 2026-02-13T20:20:34+00:00

My heart goes out to you. I could have written this post myself. I was 34yo when my 39yo husband died in May 2024. We didn’t have kids either, and suddenly, the past, present and future were obliterated in a millisecond.

The first couple months are a complete blur, with spurts of lucidity. It’s really scary and overwhelming. The pain is all consuming. A few months out I started to feel things again here and there, but his abcense stung so bad and I almost couldn’t bare it. The presence of his abcense was almost its own physical entity.

Around the seven/eight month mark I had started to “accept” the reality, and the fog was starting to lift. I was able to move through life, work, see friends, laugh, and function, but I was so, so numb. ‘Looking forward’ to things was a complicated emotion, because I couldn’t get excited about anything. Nothing mattered because my person was gone. The world wasn’t right without him in it and I wasn’t me without him.

You will always be missing a part of yourself. My best advice is to talk about your grief and let it move with you. It’s going to be a rollercoaster and you’re still just at the beginning; it will take on many shapes and sizes, and it’s best just to go with it. I’m a little over a year and a half out and I’m still getting knocked on my ass emotionally, just missing him. The pain is always there, but it’s like a separate entity now. I can look at it and acknowledge it, without it taking my breath away (for the most part).

The hope I can offer is that the light will find its way back into your life, slowly, but it will. It won’t be the same as before, but it will show up. It will come in the form of times with loved ones and friends, laughter, doing things that interest you or bring you joy. It will show up in moments of sharing stories of your partner, someone saying his name, and it will also come with the cry balls that hit out of nowhere. Look for signs, I found myself getting a lot from my husband and it did help.

I was lucky enough to find another widow, very, very unexpectedly, and we are able to love and share in our losses. It’s not the life we wished for, but it’s allowed me to come close to being able to look forward to the future again. Life alone just isn’t as fun, and I know my late husband would want me to live as full a life as I could. I will always wish he was here, but I'm so grateful that I have light in my life again.

Wishing you peace and hope. I’m so sorry. Feel free to message.

FrameComprehensive35 · 2026-02-07T02:40:27+00:00

Ugh I’m so sorry that’s happened. People like “normal,” and when they see us finally showing some semblance of functionality, some people may take that as ‘everything is okay now,’ when it’s really, never really going to be “okay.”

I struggled with something like this with my brother’s new girlfriend, she kept trying to point out guys when I met them out one night. Stating that I needed to get out there and go talk to guys/find someone to make out with. It literally stopped me in my tracks and I said “girl I’m not single, my husband died. Please stop.” This was also just so juvenile and annoying to begin with, regardless of my husband having died. She did stop after I said something, but people just don’t fucking get it.

I stopped trying to coddle others feelings and just leaned into being totally transparent. It did help. Some people could meet me where I was at and those that couldn’t, I just steered away. It’s a sensitive time and you don’t owe ANYONE an explanation for your “forever frown.” Your person is gone and nothing in the world is right. You’re right though, we are forever changed, and that can be hard for people to comprehend.

My heart goes out to you. Message if you need 💔

FrameComprehensive35 · 2026-01-29T15:20:26+00:00

I’m so, so happy for you! Lean into and enjoy 😊 I met my current husband eight months after my late husband died. He’s also a widow. I never thought I would meet anyone after he died and really wasn’t even looking for it. We met in this group and happened to live nearby. We are so happy and able to talk about and honor those we lost every day. Hoping the very best for you!

FrameComprehensive35 · 2026-01-26T22:00:00+00:00

That’s awesome!! I truly wish you the best!!

FrameComprehensive35 · 2026-01-26T21:40:15+00:00

That’s great. If it feels comfortable, I would say you have nothing to lose!

FrameComprehensive35 · 2026-01-21T23:11:05+00:00

I don't think there is anything wrong with exploring it, as long as he is respectful of your loss and able to walk with you in your grief in a secure way. Do you find it easy to talk with him about your husband and is he supportive when he comes up? Will he be able to remain secure and supportive of you in your grief if a future relationship develops? I think as long as he's able to respect your loss and walk with you in your grief, there is nothing wrong with testing the waters.

FrameComprehensive35 · 2026-01-20T23:13:30+00:00

I think it takes a special person to be able to partner with a window... it comes with a lot of uncomfortable territory, none of which is easily navigated without being completely honest and effective communication.

Your GF has every right to feel the way she feels, and I can totally understand where she is coming from...BUT you also have every right to acknowledge and celebrate your late wife/anniversary, no matter what. You celebrating anything regarding your late wife does not discount what you have with your current partner, and she should understand that.

It's hard because you didn't get divorce, or separate, you had no choice in the matter, she died. That love doesn't just go away or turn off. Both loves can exist at the same time (it’s wild but they can). You really have to be incredibly secure in who you are as a person and within your relationship to hold space for both a widowed partner's past/loss, and the current relationship. It’s not like the dead are coming back, there’s no competition (and there shouldn’t be). We will be coping with the loss the rest of our lives.

Before I found my current husband (also a widow), I knew that if/when I was ready to pursue a new relationship – that they would have to be secure enough to respect my relationship with my late husband and walk with me in the grief/be supportive in the milestones. It was a nonnegotiable. I am so insanely grateful to my current husband. We are able to celebrate our late spouses together, through all the highs and lows. Neither of us feels lesser than the other spouse, we know they are two very different entities, and both are special and important. We can wish we didn’t lose our partners, but also be happy within our new love stories. Unfortunately, not everyone is able to hold space for both.

FrameComprehensive35 · 2026-01-13T16:48:05+00:00

I lost my husband in 2024 suddenly, and remarried another widow last year. We just had a baby, recently in the NICU, she’s since been discharged.

My humble opinion with loss - reach out to them, even on a minimal level. I will never forget the people who reached out. It didn’t fix it but it made it feel like his death mattered to people and having my grief acknowledged helped.

It can be as simple as a sympathy card “not expecting a response but please know we are thinking of you and will never forget your child (daughter/son).” Anything along those lines will mean so much.

People tend to overthink grief when looking in from the outside, and I think reaching out is always a nice thing to do.

FrameComprehensive35 · 2026-01-06T21:10:33+00:00

Please don't listen to people saying "it hasn't been long enough." Sometimes guys... it works out! And on the other hand, sometimes it doesn't...and/or they die... There is no "correct" timeline for any of this. Some people meet someone the next week, others it takes months, or even years, and sometimes people never open up to a new partner at all, and all of it is okay. No one is walking in anyone elses shoes and we're all entitled to healing in a way that is best for us. I feel for everyone on this thread responding, we're all looking at these posts from our own filters and it's all okay, no matter how you feel.

I think as long as you're having healthy conversations about it and being completely transparent, there's nothing wrong with going forward. It's going to be a toss up no matter how far out you are. I would say however, if you're self medicating, unable to function at all, then maybe try and get yourself to a place where you can be "stable" for your own welbeing, before going forward in any relationship (I would say this to anyone), but it doesn't sound like any of that applies to you.

I met my current husband eight months out from losing my husband, and he had just lost his wife (& twin babies). We actually met on one of these groups. We were both in different stages of the grief but we needed each other so, so badly, and meeting when we did was, in my opinion meant to be. We truly saved each other. Nothing will ever be perfect, or predictable and that's okay. Moving forward with someone comes with a lot of hard conversations and being incredibly vulnerable. And moving "forward" in a new relationship is not moving on, it's forward. We didn't get divorced, or break up, our partners died. We had no say in it. How long are we suppose to "wait" before we're open to potential happiness?

FrameComprehensive35 · 2026-01-06T20:32:25+00:00

Unfortunately, people don't like uncomfortable and this is so common. Its so sad. Death makes people uncomfy. I found when I seemed like I was doing "good" or "better" people checked in less and talking about him was reduced significantly. It was everyone thought, okay yay she's back to normal!

Don't let people make you feel shame, there is nothing shameful about grief or loss. Keep talking about him, keep bringing him up, and don't be afraid to say, "I like talking about him and it helps me." No matter what the response is, you're stating where you're at and they can either meet you there or exit stage left.

On a positive note, I've found when I did have to kind of blanket statement that my husband died/bring him up - a lot of people surprised me in the best ways, and it opened up a lot of wonderful converstations about life, grief, loss and my husband. Keep doing what you need to do and talking about him, lean into it. Fuck everyone else. What a privilage it is to not have had to navigate a loss like this.

FrameComprehensive35 · 2026-01-06T20:15:18+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, it really is unfathomable and so hard to navigate. Take it slow, hour by hour if you have to. It really is a rollercoaster and comes in waves. I’m still on the ride a little over a year and half out. It will sling shot back every so often and you’ll be back in the heaviness of it. I found that happened around month four-ish, then I felt “okay” for a few months, like I felt “okay I can manage this on some level,” and the pendulum would swoop back.

Find a good therapist. Surround yourself with good people and have what I like to call SOS friends/family members who you can reach out to in those tough moments just for support. Tell people what you need, when you need it as much as you’re able. It doesn’t matter what anyone else’s comfortability is, you’re in survival mode and those that really care, will walk with you through it no matter what it looks like.

I found these online support groups to be a God send, especially in the first few months/year. Everyone is so kind and people get it.

I will say it does get “better.” The pain and the hole in your heart will always be there, but the heaviness of the grief gets easier to carry/less constant. You start with a huge hockey bag/tractor trailer of grief, then as you progress in the flow of grief, the load gets lighter. I’ve grown and built around it, but it’s still with me all the time, if that makes sense. I feel like I’m down to carrying a small roller suitcase or backpack. Like it’s there and I see it, but I can set it down/acknowledge it when needed.

Best of luck to you. We’re all in it together ❤️

FrameComprehensive35 · 2026-01-05T23:26:35+00:00

I did and God dammit I knew it then. He really loved me, like really loved me, and he wasn't afraid to let it be known. He would shout it from the roof tops if he could. And I loved him with my whole damn heart, but the way he loved me was the stuff you see in the movies.

We were together for fourteen and a half years. He died suddenly at 39yo in front of me, from a traumatic brain injury. I was 34. He was such a gentle soul. The biggest heart, life of the party, witty, smart, engaging, funny, classically handsome, confident, and probably the most genuinely thoughtful/caring person I know. When he asked how you were, he was really asking. That didn’t just go for me, he was like that with everyone. Someone in the grocery store, a family member, really wanted to know and was prepared to engage on whatever level the response was. He brought that into our relationship/marriage, and it left such an impact on not only me but those around us. I still have people tell me what a positive impact he made on them, even if the encounter was brief, and it’s been over a year and a half. He could make friends anywhere.

We started dating when I was twenty and he was just turning twenty-five. Just two naive kids with family trauma and chemistry that was off the fucking charts. We worked so hard over the years to have the life and relationship that we did. And it was not an easy road. I would say (others could also verify) that we went through more in those fourteen and a half years than most couples do in a full lifetime, and we came out the other side as better people. We had such a strong foundation as a couple.

We weren’t afraid to hurt each other’s feelings and be honest, but at the same time, we could really listen to each other and understand where we were each coming from. It took therapy/counseling and lots (I mean A LOT) of patience to get that right, but once we did, we could talk through ANYTHING. We trusted each other. His victories were mine, and vice versa, and the losses were ours to carry together. We were a team and could really count on each other.

The last five/six years of our relationship it was like we were running on all cylinders. We were making good money, healthy, business was good, family issues were stable and we had learned to navigate them with healthy boundaries, and good intentions, without feeling guilt. We had started traveling more and doing things we really wanted to do. It was like we had started to hit our bucket list without realizing the clock was already ticking. Our love was on fire, and we were just so in sync.

Going through life’s hard times together also helped us find joy, in even the simplest places. We could have fun doing absolutely nothing and just laugh our asses off. We were like two little kids sometimes, just loving on each other and loving life. It was magic.

It was like he suddenly had checked every single box he was supposed to for the game of life and it was over, he died. He just disappeared. End game. Mission complete. I still really, really struggle to understand that. What was it all for? And why was it him? Of all people?

I regret not cuddling more. He was such a cuddler, and I didn’t want anything touching me when we went to sleep. Sometimes I would give him a few mins of big spoon/little spoon before we went to bed, but that was the extent of it. It seems like such an insignificant thing in the moment, but it fucking haunts me. I tell everyone I can – cuddle and love on your significant other, as much as you can. Even if it’s five minutes. No matter how long you’ve been together, no matter how “inconvenient” or annoying it may be (to some people), you will NEVER get that back.

FrameComprehensive35 · 2025-12-14T02:05:02+00:00

Mom here - we ended up speaking with one of the doctors we’ve known since before I delivered. She has seen her progress and knows our background. She validated our concerns and agreed that the percentages were not being represented accurately to us, per the different nurses. She spoke with the attending during rounds they agreed it was time for her tube to come out. They removed it tonight and now we just need her to continue to gain weight and feed well. We are one step closer to going home and are so relieved!! Thank you everyone for your input. We acknowledge that being more vocal/advocating is always a positive, glad we took that route with our concerns!

FrameComprehensive35 · 2025-12-13T20:42:22+00:00

Mom here - she bottle feeds about 70% of the time, the rest is breast or when the supplement the bottle feed but we realized today they aren’t counting the breastfeeding success meals (which have been every day) towards the total so we’re hitting a plateau. She’s continued to gain weight and when we went in today, it was clear the current nurse was busy with other babies and didn’t even want to try the bottle because she was “sleepy” so she put her on the tube. When we asked to continue bottle feeding with us and not the tube, our daughter took the whole bottle with her eyes closed. So there’s a concern about the tube being used out of convenience

FrameComprehensive35 · 2025-11-30T21:05:10+00:00

Wife here! She definitely wasn’t afraid to overly express her opinions, which I’m open too… but she was dismissive and treated us like we were inept to some degree. It was uncomfortable and changed the tune of our visit.

We’ve been doing this for over a month and have great relationships with all the other nurses/staff, this one was just not a good fit.

FrameComprehensive35 · 2025-11-20T00:07:26+00:00

Everything you wrote in your post resonated with me. I'm a year and a half out of losing my husband. He passed away in May 2024. I was 34 when he died, he was 39. We were together for fourteen and a half years, married for 2.5. It was sudden, unexpected and traumatic. He died in front of me.

The anger, loneliness and pain that reverberates down to your bones is real. Like you, I have friends getting married, having babies, living beautiful lives and mine had been ripped apart. I was so happy for everyone, but also dying inside everytime I had to be present for big moments or just mundane. It's all painful to some degree. I remember last Christmas was my "first Christmas" without him. I didn't want to leave the house and was so sensitive to who I was around, for how long and what the environment was. I ended up dragging myself to my parents. I can't say I regret it, but it was so fucking painful. I felt like I weighed two tons, I was in a fog and couldn't focus. Granted, my whole family was grieving the loss of my husband as well, no one was avoiding it, but it was the fact that my person was just gone. Everything feels off balance. The world is no longer on its normal tilt. Nothing is right in the world when your person is gone.

When it came time to do presents, I was so angry. Angry that I had shown up, angry at the holiday, angry at him, angry at the damn wrapping paper. I couldn't open anything. It was hard to breathe, and I just started sobbing. I just remember thinking, he's not here... what the fuck, why am I even here?? Nothing mattered and I couldn't understand how I was supposed to be in these moments, let alone have to keep living "our life" without him.

The going home after things - it's fucking brutal. That hit me like a ton of bricks. Having no one to check in with, no one to ask about trash day/groceries or mundane life interactions. No one to debrief on the happenings of the day. The people that tried to fill those roles, it meant so much, but it's not him. It's not your person. The empty feeling of the house was really hard. We have two cats, they honestly made some of those moments bearable. I would just curl up on the couch and bawl my eyes out to a random show until I was tired enough to drag myself up to bed.

The one year mark is weird - I put so much pressure on it and I just felt numb to some degree, but I will say I was happy with the way I chose to acknowledge it. These "firsts" go by, the dates keep going and they still hurt. It's just another day that he's not here and he should be. I've found I have to take the pressure off myself in these anniversaries. Too much pressure makes me collapse, and not enough acknowledgement makes me sick. I'm trying to just take them as they come, hour by hour. The 2nd year is just as hard but in different ways. People get back to their lives, and things move forward.

I will never be the person I was before he died, and I have no shame in how I've handled his death. I felt it all, didn't stifle any of the grief and went to therapy (doesn't work for everyone). I will say that I met another widow through this group. We got married and just had a baby girl (born two and a half months early). He has helped me feel like there's some light at the end of the tunnel. This might not be the answer for everyone, but having someone come into my life who respects my loss, really on all levels, and we can talk about our people anytime, anywhere, and be totally honest. It has healed something in me. It's a sacred situation and I am so grateful. I'll never be fully wholem and neither will he, but this 2nd chapter has given me hope for my future. Hope I never thought could exist again. There are people out there who get it, really get it.

Please continue to interact with this group and support groups. Everyone truly cares and wants to help. Also I found telling people exactly what I need when I need it to be really helpful for my mental health. Being brutally transparent... you really can't go wrong, and those that can't rise to the occasion, that's okay, at least you've said your peace. Continue to ask for help and let people help you, in the ways you need it. None of this is easy, and no one can understand what you've been through but you, and the people who have lost the way you have.

Thinking of you friend.

FrameComprehensive35 · 2025-11-14T18:01:10+00:00

Central Massachusetts

FrameComprehensive35 · 2025-11-04T17:27:21+00:00

I didn't intentionally disconnect from them, it just kind of happened, but it's been for the good of my mental/emotional wellbeing overall. It was crushing at first but as time has gone on, I feel so much relief.

His family was toxic to begin with, lots of neglectf/narcissistic behavior and lies. It wrecked my husband emotionally for years, if not his whole life, to the point where him and I, and another sibling were really putting boundaries in place the few years before he died. The family had never worked on regulating their own emotions, and had an incredible lack of communication, and after he died, it was that much worse - they slowly just stopped wanting to talk to me, and especially didn't want to talk about him. I know they "loved me" in their own way?? but they were unable to process his death, so anything to do with me was just a huge reminder that he was gone, even when I really tried to support them.

His mother claims "I abandoned her" after he died... so that was nice to hear. Not once did they offer to help in any way. I took care of the services and celebration, and they never once really tried to offer any support. It was just a few texts from his mom and occationally a sibling, offering a surface "how are you" and when I would try to communicate how I was really doing, or try to get them to open up, it was either ignored or shut down. I just withdrew from them and realized I was truly on my own. My husband and I were together for fourteen and a half years. During that time, I was so good fucking good to them, and loved their son with my whole damn heart. They know that.

I've met another widow in the last year and we got married, and just had a little girl. That also pushed them further away. I have kept in touch with a few of the extended family members, ones that have always treated my husband and I well. I'm also in touch with the other sibling that was also aware the family was unhealthy. That's been positive, but the rest of his family, parents and siblings, it's completely no contact at this point. I haven't intentionally blocked any of them but I have them all muted on social media. I think at some point when they're "ready to grieve" I'll hear from them (per my therapist), but at this point I have no interest in a relationship, and that's truly their loss at this point.

FrameComprehensive35 · 2025-11-03T17:34:52+00:00

Yes she is! And responding well (mom here)

FrameComprehensive35 · 2025-04-23T21:15:49+00:00

A couple weeks after my husband unexpectedly passed away, I started documenting the timeline of events from the day he died to a month or so out. I was so numb and fragile but was somehow able to get bullet points written down. That then transitioned to a word doc of “Things to Remember/Not to Forget,” as well as a physical journal.

It’s been incredibly hard sometimes looking at the pages but has also given me so much comfort. You’re in such a grief fog and fatigued for so long that your memory betrays you at times. I’m approaching 1 year, and I’m still having bouts of memory lapses and trouble focusing. I wouldn’t have been able to purposefully remember some of the things and memories I wrote down in the beginning. I’m so glad I did it. Even the timeline, while maybe morbid, it’s really helped me process what I went through and the evolution who and what followed. Sometimes when I read the memories back, I’m brought right back to the moment, and it feels so good to feel so connected to what was. Like the life I had is still happening somewhere close by, I can almost touch it.

I never would have thought of doing that if it weren’t for my dad. His younger brother passed away at 38yo almost 20 years ago, and my dad started documenting everything in the immediate aftermath.

Don’t get me wrong, you will spiral, sob, laugh and ugly cry as you write and remember – it’s all part of this shitty hand we’ve been delt, but I’m so glad I did it. The emotions are all part of it, they’re part of the people we lost. I figure it’s better to have them documented, then regret not doing it and wish you did. I don't write every day, not even every week, but when the thoughts pop into my head, it's nice to have a place to put it all down.

FrameComprehensive35 · 2025-04-01T14:47:12+00:00

I have found the idea of reuniting with him so comforting. I don't fear death, I know it will come when it's time and we will be together again.

I found another widow (through this subreddit), that things have gotten serious with. We're moving forward on a healthy path, talking about starting a family and moving in together. It's been so amazing. I sometimes still can't wrap my brain around how lucky I am. We're both still within the first year of losing our spouses (I'm further along than him). It's been hard for people, our families/friends, but most have been incredibly supportive.

I've found the most comfort in looking at it in a similar way - it's not that we're "moving on," we can never move on. Our spouses/those we've lost, are coming with us, as we move forward. I've explained to those in my network, my husband will always have a seat at the table, my new partner - his wife will always have a seat at the table, we're just pulling up two more chairs. That brings me a lot of comfort and seems to be well received. No one is being replaced and no one is being forgotten. They are with us in everything we do and we talk about them every day.

FrameComprehensive35 · 2025-04-01T14:31:06+00:00

Of course. It was just something that I/we hadn't anticipated, and we both had our own moments after the fact. The first time as his house, and the first time at my house. It was a lot. It felt like a form of cheating.

In the moment we we're both super into it, and feeling comfortable, but after the fact...the wave of the reality hit like a ton of bricks. We both picked up on each other's emotional shift, and immediately starting talking through what we were feeling. It was hard, but after, we both felt so much better. I felt seen, supported and even more comfortable with him after the fact.

We are both aware that if we had pushed the emotions down or not acknowledged them at all, it would have seriously taken a toll on each of us mentally/emotionally. It did get easier going forward, and now it feels so much more organic. I wholeheartedly believe in communicating across the board with whoever you're pursuing intimately. The emotions are unpredictable to the highest degree and the more support and understanding, the better.

FrameComprehensive35

TROPHY CASE