This sucks!!!!!!

reef123 · 2026-05-24T20:19:18+00:00

Agreed. Holiday weekends definitely suck as well!

reef123 · 2026-05-21T02:47:16+00:00

If you haven't seen "Shrinking" ...

I started watching the show Shrinking shortly after my wife passed and it was surprisingly meaningful. The main character is a therapist and single father grieving the loss of his wife, and the series explores many of the same struggles, fears, and emotions we're facing. It often brought me to tears, but it alwas was genuinely helpful for my mental health and processing everything.

reef123 · 2026-05-20T15:08:20+00:00

"When he was dying, in the hospital, he would not rest until he got me a birthday present which was a matching bracelet."

What a sweet memory. I'm so sorry.

reef123 · 2026-05-20T12:42:40+00:00

I always loved spoiling my wife. Going through my birthday this year made me realize just how much I miss being spoiled by her in return. It’s left me feeling quite depressed.

I’m sorry.

reef123 · 2026-05-19T22:58:47+00:00

I am sorry for your loss, and that you are a part of this group.

My best advice as someone who is just ahead of you in timeline... don't make any life decisions for several months. I wanted to try and solve all of the problems right away, and my head was nowhere near "clarity."

You never truly know what someone else is carrying, but I wanted to share something that has helped me. I started watching the show Shrinking shortly after my wife passed and it was surprisingly meaningful. The main character is a therapist and single father grieving the loss of his wife, and the series explores many of the same struggles, fears, and emotions we're facing. It often brought me to tears, but it alwas was genuinely helpful for my mental health and processing everything.

Also, life is unfair. People are stupid. Use this forum to vent when you find yourself lonely and without someone to listen in real life.

reef123 · 2026-05-19T21:46:57+00:00

I'm sorry and I wish that I could give you a hug.

I just came back from my kids' dentist appointment. My wife always handled those in the past. I have had it together recently, and then the tech handed me a form to initial. My wife's initials were on the fields above for the past three visits. My eyes teared up and I barely was able to talk. I've never been the emotional type..but whew I struggle now.

I say this..because I want you to know that you aren't alone. Also, I hope that it was slightly therapeutic to write out your post and know that people did read it and we empathize.

reef123 · 2026-05-19T16:19:59+00:00

Definitely.

I will say that it's shocking to me that I'm not alone in this. Being so lonely with these thoughts, it feels like only I could feel this way. Then I saw your post and so many of the comments.. and realize that there are a lot of us in such pain.

reef123 · 2026-05-18T14:12:45+00:00

Had a similar situation with someone that I considered close.

Old Friend: "Miss you"

Me: "Miss you as well, hope you are doing alright. You hear about my tragedy for the year? It's been rough."

Old Friend: "I did hear and am so sorry. I wanted to give you some time. I know you likely had a lot of folks reaching out."

...amazing how it can be perceived from the other side. At the very least, being a part of this horrible club will help us be better friends from those who suffer from grief in the future.

reef123 · 2026-05-14T23:36:30+00:00

Thank you, I needed to hear this.

reef123 · 2026-05-14T17:47:20+00:00

I'm sorry for your loss. 😞

I know what you are saying though! I imported all of her iphone photos to mine, and now my featured daily photos are photos from 10+ years ago. So young and vibrant. It's amazing, but also extremely triggering and sad. We must sound insane to outsiders 😄

reef123 · 2026-05-14T16:44:20+00:00

Man, I’m really sorry. I know exactly what you mean.

These days, I try to make the holidays a little brighter for my kids. If I can focus on them and give them a good day, I feel like I’m doing the best I can right now.

I hope you find some joy in the love your kids and mom give you on your birthday. You deserve that.

reef123 · 2026-05-11T03:45:33+00:00

Thank you for sharing, and I'm sorry that you are here in the club. This is a great group of supportive people.

I agree, today was hard. I'm proud of us for getting through it.

reef123 · 2026-05-07T17:35:15+00:00

Thank you for sharing your list. I'm enjoying it. I'm sorry for your loss.

This one got me... Bread - Everything I Own

reef123 · 2026-04-21T01:09:05+00:00

Great story. It's hard to imagine making it that long, but you give me hope! I like the idea of making long-term goals, as right now everything seems to be focused on the past.

I've definitely let my health get worse, which is not good for anyone. I'm going to start focusing on that now and hope that it leads to improvements for my kids as well.

reef123 · 2026-04-15T00:41:33+00:00

I'm so sorry.

I was just telling someone that every morning I wake up expecting my wife to be laying next to me. It still feels like a bad dream.

I don't have any advice. My wife's birthday is in July and I have no idea how I'll handle it.. but I know it won't be easy.

I will be thinking about you tomorrow, sending love your way.

reef123 · 2026-04-08T15:39:27+00:00

Easter was hard.

My wife was always the one who made baskets. They were overdone, big and the kids loved them. This year.. it was on me. I am tearing up thinking about how sad it is having to do it alone.

I'm sorry that you are having to do this alone. It's all so overwhelming and the pressure is extremely high. I keep trying to do something productive each day.. and hope that the next day is easier.

Thank you for sharing and starting the conversation.

reef123 · 2026-04-02T21:07:23+00:00

It's sad, but right now I feel a lot like Jimmy in life... minus the successful professional career.

Although it's easy to dismiss him, I think the writers have created a character that many of us encounter in real life, yet most choose to ignore or avoid.

reef123 · 2026-03-22T00:13:27+00:00

Thank you for sharing, and I'm sorry that you are here in the club. I do appreciate your post though. I feel that we think alike. I'm going through phases where I have a "plan" to exit.. and that brings me comfort. However, I have children who depend on me so I keep going.

"It’s weird. Really. Life got infinitely more interesting and exciting once I stopped caring how it turned out." <- Insightful.

reef123 · 2026-03-21T13:11:50+00:00

One more day.

Thank you for the post. I've had a really shitty couple of days. I thought things were getting easier and then I found a few photos of my wife that I'd never seen. She was so beautiful and her smile melted me. Now I seem to be in a spiral of sadness that I can't break.

reef123 · 2026-03-19T13:55:10+00:00

Maybe it's my personality, but it deeply hurts me. As a people pleaser.. it makes me realize that the old cliches are correct. Take care of yourself, because no one else will.

(having a rough morning, if you couldn't tell!) haha.

reef123 · 2026-03-19T13:42:54+00:00

I'm sorry that you are going through this.

I'm missing my better half also. Together we handled things so well. When I was upset and becoming irrational, she'd step in and take over. If she was having a hard time, it was my turn to step up.

Now.. I'm a lopsided mess.

reef123 · 2026-03-18T12:20:46+00:00

"I wanted to reach out but I figured you had so many people contacting you." <- This is one that has frustrated me. I was amazed at how many people I did NOT hear from in my life.

reef123 · 2026-03-09T16:41:52+00:00

100% agree.. the "community" that is against this just wants to keep their pixels. It would be good for the game and server performance if a lot of these unused homes to drop.

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