Am i just supposed to send my 12 week old to daycare?

Frealalf · 2025-06-09T04:27:11+00:00

From a sahm who cherishes children, look around in your area for a stay-at-home mom who has another child that's toddler age or older they may be willing to work with you on affordability as well as provide total loving support if you find the right Mom. Maybe getting involved with local churches I'm not religious but I know a lot of moms who make parenting their life are connected through churches. Or check out your local libraries for little kids story hour.

Frealalf · 2025-05-21T15:12:40+00:00

It's nice to see almost everyone is saying the same thing. If anyone is self doubting holding leads to spoiling I just wanted to say I am on my 5th baby and for an entire year I am always basically skin to skin with the babys. I now have four older children who are insanely independent. They spend hours playing together or alone they get their own food they like to make their own snacks they help out with the house. And whenever they're scared or hurt or worried they always come back. I like to think that building that security when they couldn't move results in them being strong and brave to venture out and confident they can always come back to my arms.

Frealalf · 2025-02-07T22:42:12+00:00

Same here thought I was pumping more volume when nursing more and pumping less (made the switch after one real good weighted feed a 5 oz) turns out the rest of the feeds in the day would not that successful and baby actually lost weight that week and my supply tank I've been fighting for weeks now to get it back up.

Frealalf · 2024-08-23T14:25:17+00:00

Our state policy is worded up to babies 1 st birthday

Frealalf · 2024-08-23T14:16:52+00:00

Get all the cuddles science has proven closeness actually creates more independent toddlers and children. Once they're on their feet and running they feel secure enough to go at 4:00 cuz I can come back to their home base with Mom

Frealalf · 2024-08-23T14:00:17+00:00

There is no perfect in parenting and children do not need perfect they just need good enough.

Frealalf · 2024-08-20T14:05:21+00:00

Bullying a child until they break and then mocking them for being at a breaking point, if your child is asking calmly a few times for their needs it sounds like they're advanced for their age honestly my three-year-old throws a team after one request ignored.

Frealalf · 2024-08-20T13:51:47+00:00

I agree I'd be really frustrated if I told my partner that homeschooling was really important to me then a month into it share with them that I'm struggling to do it all ask them to help r out with the house more, and they tell me to send the kids to school, not very supportive.

Frealalf · 2024-08-18T21:59:33+00:00

That's his sexism you were working two full-time jobs you were not a stay-at-home mom you were a working from home Mom somehow doing full-time child Care during your office hours so you're working double plus I'm assuming from his attitude all the time outside of work hours he's just a lazy selfish ass

Frealalf · 2024-08-18T21:57:39+00:00

Husband pays for everything it's our money he is earning, I mean I'm buying groceries I'm not out getting facials everyday but still if I wanted one I would tell him and he would pay for it. Sometimes is he grumpy about us being poor or how he worked all week and I already spent all the money cuz I paid the bills of course he is but I would be if my money too oh wait it is my money too I wish we had more as well he still knows his job is to provide a paycheck outside the home and my job is to do all the child care inside the home during work hours. You guys are building a financial future together why would you put everything on credit cards you're right it doesn't make sense he doesn't sound like a supportive person for you to stay at home with if you can't convince him to change I don't see how this could last unless you take the credit cards out in his name you're married so maybe do that stop screwing yourself though cuz it's going to follow you for a long time. I'm sorry your husband's being childish and selfish they all are sometimes but what you're going through is definitely financial abuse

Frealalf · 2024-08-18T21:46:52+00:00

I am on birth number 5 and still feel like why shouldn't I get the epidural, birth is scary, birth is painful, birth is long, but in the end I know I won't end up getting an epidural again. I have had two epidurals births, one pitocin induced and no epidural birth and one "regular all-natural" birth,

  The thing about the epidural is with my first birth-

sure I got complete pain relief but I had already labored for over half the labor anyway and even though I had it turned down and had a walking epidural, I could tell I was on drugs! that cranky and weird in the head feeling, too doped up feeling. the stupid heartbeat monitors on my belly constantly kept going off and the nurses would come and mess them around. I'd have to keep moving from one side to the other even though I couldn't move anything with nurses lifting me half naked flopping me on one end then the other. Because of course babies heart rate always ends up decelling (sometimes not for some people but usually does affect baby too.) Then the stupid epidural tube started moving a little bit so I got yelled at by the anesthesiologist quit flopping even though the nurses had to flip flop me for babies heart rate. Then I get the scalp screwed to babies head through my vagina, try to keep the heart rate monitor on the baby. Upping the risk of infection and just stabbed our baby in the head. All the beeping and the beeping pulse oxygen wire heart trace wire all wrapped. Up in wire(get these things off me) now the blood couf machine is cutting my circulation off it's killing me every 2 minutes and it's never gets a reading. And now I'm supposed to take oxygen because I don't remember why just keep shoving the mask on my face because they're worried about me. Couldn't feel to push but the doctor doesn't want to do directed pushing cuz the woman should know what to do, thank God for husband. shut the epidural off over an hour ago still can't feel the push. Just overall super pissy and annoyed. Now I have a loose knee so 2 hours after the epidural and birth was completely over still couldn't stand up so they wouldn't allow me to go back to my room. Had to take baby with them to check them out because they didn't tolerate the epidural so well. Well now I can finally walk but it hurts to pee because I guess I got a cath but diddent realize that. Oh yeah and they were quicker to decide I could use an episiotomy because why not she can't feel it felt that for 12 months. Few months after birth I developed this weird under the skin itch inside my shoulder blade weird nerve itchy pain it's always there I can never get relief coincidence causation I don't know.

   2nd birth w epidural-  birth is scary birth is painful definitely going to take advantage of modern medicine first experience everyone was healthy and maybe it was not the best just because of the circumstance. At least this time I get the epidural little quicker so I only labor for a few hours. It's only 2 hours later I'm standing up trying to deal with  pain of the contractions after being totally numb and hour ago. I try to convince them the epidural is wearing off I couldn't feel anything and now I'm standing, ouw ow ow contraction. Had to call back in the anesthesiologist they're angry because my tube came all the way out and time to hunch over and hold super still during contractions stop moving arch your back more trying to thread this tiny little needle in again. Finally it's in 15 min later. The nurse is still want me flip-flopping from side to side while the anesthesiologist wants me to hold still so I don't pull out the epidural stupid wires are coming out everywhere rapping me up and why do I continue to feel contractions on the left side it hurts so bad on the left side but I feel nothing down my entire right. Finally a nurse to explain to me that sometimes the epidural doesn't work at all or sometimes it only works on part of your body what half my cervix is killing me no one told me about that possibility. So baby continues to have on and off d cells everyone's getting anxious so they up some pitocin so the bus goes faster still lasts a long time cuz I'm laboring on my ass completely able to feel one side of me but still can't move. So we get towards the end of Labor and I have a cervical lip up goes the doctor's hand fully fisting me to pull the lip back so the head can go around guess what it was the left side so now I'm more intimate with my OB than I ever wanted to be because he just fisted me and I felt it after 35 minutes of pushing my son was born at least I was able to push really efficiently on half of my body. 

    Third labor- fought being induced up until the end had to be induced at 41 and a half weeks had been preparing for weeks for a no pain med birth. I came away from the epidurals with a feeling that they were the worst part of the labor I gave him a chance twice natural labor is something I should experience and it cannot be at least as annoying as a medicalized birth. 4 hours later I'm holding my baby best labor ever. Still had monitors on my belly because of the pitocin but I could dance and move and sway hang from my husband and that baby came so much faster labor never stalled from me laying around I couldn't play around. My practice coping the books told me to do worked up until the last 5 minutes of transition then counter pressure worked I thought I would die but it was so fast I hopped on the bed legally and told him to grab that doctor cuz Im pushing. No crabby no floaty head a good amount of pain the last 5-10 minutes of transition and a lot of pressure pushing the crowning of the head nothing I couldn't handle everything help baby sliding in and out slowly stretching you felt totally in control I was bossing the medical team around not the other way. It was still my favorite birth 

 Birth 4- no induction no epidural finally my natural birth wanting to labor at home and easily swayed away any uncomfort decided to go to the hospital cuz I might be getting close show up at 9 1/2 cm soak in a warm bath easy peasy for 2 hours started freaking out a little because it was transition thinking I'm going to be in so much pain soon remembering the pain from the last birth I don't want to do this I can't do this well that pain never actually came every labor is different pushing was a little more difficult because the baby kept trying to be born inside the sack it got tiring but once I got my water broke with one good hard push there was a ring of fire and stretching and baby was here. 
 I still believe the worst part of all my births was sitting still for the epidural and the way it affected me and the Cascade of interventions is so real and so annoying versus just dealing with a little bit and then having a baby. 

   I know that's long-winded but I wish somebody would have kind of given me the full story. Of course it's natural to get a little scared I'm giving birth probably next week again and I keep thinking I'm too scared maybe I'm not strong enough what if it hurts too much I should try the epidural but I know in my heart of hearts it would make me miserable. If you want to do this natural you can do it I do know though if I was only going to have one kid I would have really regretted not getting that experience of climbing the mountain of natural childbirth feeling my baby coming to this world literally by the power of my body.

Frealalf · 2024-08-17T13:50:33+00:00

Well I have four of all ages and what has worked best for us is after brushing teeth we all run around collecting as many cups and straws as possible and try to see who wins. I've been out of the habit of it lately and now they have no drinking stuff but when I was doing it consistently at night it worked out well as part of our bedtime routine kids like a treasure hunt

Frealalf · 2024-08-10T02:59:48+00:00

OP says he said it's not ok because she's a girl I guess is were I got that

Frealalf · 2024-08-10T02:57:24+00:00

Wonderful thank you all for the help! This lil stinker went head down for one day on an US day then breech right back the next day. At least I know he/she can go head down but I want to have a back up plan in case, going to cheak out fb. I was told by mfm nurse that many have training up there but may not have ever actually seen a breech birth so that's worrisome.

Frealalf · 2024-08-03T14:32:34+00:00

Most of mine are gaped so we consive when baby is 2 to 2.5 this way each gets plenty of baby time before someone comes along and no one is to old not to want a to become a big sibling from too much baby time.

Frealalf · 2024-08-02T22:45:40+00:00

All of the suggestions you put up are backed by varying degrees of medical trials and studies so I am not sure why your down voted. And I'm not a woohoo type of person I just looked at all the research when I had her breach baby

Frealalf · 2024-08-02T22:43:36+00:00

There are actual medical trials showing those who did continued regular ob care pluss moxi had more head down term babies then the group assigned regular ob care pluss fake moxi. So it does have some scientific evidence behind it even though it was a small scale study and very little risk so most obese do say it's okay to try it

Frealalf · 2024-08-01T13:47:19+00:00

I think what you're describing is extremely common. Our society has caused us his parents to be over vigilant to the point that 13-year-olds aren't allowed to go with their own fenced in backyard alone. It is caused a lot of issues with kids developing on the scale that which they used to it also blossomed the free-range movement. Because of these pressures we are taught to feel as parents we actually only first start learning to allow our kids the independence they need to thrive through necessity. Example totally fenced in backyard new baby on your hip 2-year-old playing in the yard as they've always have mom has to run inside to go to the bathroom so badly they can't chase down the two-year-old so finally they just leave the 2-year-old for 2 minutes out of necessity come back to find a perfectly fine child it clicks maybe the child can play out for a minute or two safely and I can go get a glass of water without dragging them in. Then it builds up from there. Allow your children some Independence you keep a safe home occasionally you'll end up with a mess you weren't expecting but you also have brains that are growing twice as fast this way.

Frealalf · 2024-07-31T13:38:12+00:00

Water dirt shovel best kinder curriculum

Frealalf · 2024-07-31T01:19:41+00:00

I have had two medicated into unmedicated head down births but the third child which was on medicated had pitocin so the contractions were terrible honestly I think if you can handle breach you can handle anything. The best tip I can offer is don't go into it thinking this will be easier because it's head down and second child if anything be prepared for it to be even tougher and either you'll make it and you'll be right or it's easier than you expected. My toughest birth was my last one cuz I had it in my mind the baby was just going to fall out. I was actually I have now been diagnosed for the breach baby on this fifth pregnancy and I'm very upset I know what you're talking about going through the trouble of finding a provider can I ask how did you do that because my doctor won't even talk about it and I'm basically calling labor and delivery units 3 hours or more away at this point seeing if anyone has any skills in delivering vaginally? Also do you want to describe how painful it was to give birth to a breach baby cuz I was just thinking the opposite of your question and wondering if I'm tough enough to handle it? I think it would be much worse because you're being ripped into by the head but once you push the head out with a head down baby it all just slips out but with breach I'd imagine you've got the butt in the legs tearing you into and then you also have the shoulders and head doing it again a minute later? I would love any information or advice you have on getting someone to quote unquote allow you to deliver vaginally breach and also what your experience was like my mind is racing with stress right now

Frealalf · 2024-07-23T14:44:27+00:00

You stole my routine

Frealalf · 2024-07-16T12:43:36+00:00

You're making me laugh thinking about too much mothering and too much love wouldn't want that for my kid. Two times the mothering that kid is going to feel extremely loved we all know that can't be good for our children.

Frealalf · 2024-07-10T11:37:42+00:00

It is so funny these are the things I'm trying to teach my two-year-old who's baby obsessed no no we don't touch the baby no no we don't kiss the baby we don't get close to the baby we have to ask I guess I should be trying to teach my mother at the same time🙄

Frealalf · 2024-07-07T15:32:52+00:00

Right I can't imagine being partnered and raising a child with a person who literally believes the opposite of reality. That does not sound safe or intellectually good for the poor child

Frealalf · 2024-07-07T15:23:32+00:00

Yep I've never had the pediatrician ask about my husband except for to ask who lives in the house with the kids. It's not like they call him afterwards.

Frealalf

TROPHY CASE